Author: Mourad Takla

I call upon You, my God, my mercy, who made me and who did not forget me, though I forgot You. I call You into my soul, which You prepare to receive You by the desire You inspire in it. Do not forsake me as I call upon You, for You reached out to me before I called, and insistently urged me with many calls that I should hear You from far away, turn back, and call upon You who called me. For You, O Lord, have wiped out all my evil deeds, so that You would not repay into my hands the means by which I fell away from You, and You have preceded all my good deeds, so that You might repay into Your hands the means by which You made me. Before I existed, You were, and I was not anything to which You might grant being. And yet look, I exist, out of Your goodness, which comes before all this which You have made me and out of which You have made me. For You had no need of me, nor am I such a good as to be helpful to You, my Lord and God. I do not serve You as though You were tired from working, or as though Your power would be diminished if it lacked my help, or as though I cultivate You like land that would be uncultivated if I did not cultivate You. Rather, I serve and worship You so that I may have well-being from You, from whom comes the fact that I am one capable of well-being.

1. I Call upon You, my God, my mercy, who made me, and who did not forget me, though forgetful of You. I call You into my soul, which by the desire which Thou inspirest in it Thou preparest for Your reception. Do not Thou forsake me calling upon You, who anticipated me before I called, and importunately urged with manifold calls that I should hear You from afar, and be converted, and call upon You who called me. For Thou, O Lord, have blotted out all my evil deserts, that You might not repay into my hands wherewith I have fallen from You, and You have anticipated all my good deserts, that You might repay into Your hands wherewith You made me; because before I was, You were, nor was I [anything] to which You might grant being. And yet behold, I am, out of Your goodness, anticipating all this which You have made me, and of which You have made me. For neither had Thou stood in need of me, nor am I such a good as to be helpful unto You, my Lord and God; not that I may so serve You as though You were fatigued in working, or lest Your power may be less if lacking my assistance nor that, like the land, I may so cultivate You that You would be uncultivated did I cultivate You not but that I may serve and worship You, to the end that I may have well-being from You; from whom it is that I am one susceptible of well-being.

For out of the fullness of Your goodness Your creature exists, so that a good—which could benefit You in no way, and which though coming from You was not equal to You—might nevertheless exist, because it could be made by You. For what did heaven and earth, which You made in the beginning, deserve from You? Let those spiritual and bodily natures, which You made in Your wisdom, declare what they have deserved from You to depend upon You for their existence—even the unfinished and formless realities, each in its own kind, either spiritual or bodily, tending toward excess and toward extreme unlikeness to You (the spiritual, though formless, more excellent than if it were a formed body; and the bodily, though formless, more excellent than if it were nothing at all), and thus as formless things they would depend upon Your Word, unless by that same Word they were called back to Your Unity, and given form, and from You, the one supreme Good, were all made very good. How have they deserved from You that they should be even formless, since they would not be even this much except from You?

2. For of the plenitude of Your goodness Your creature subsists, that a good, which could profit You nothing, nor though of You was equal to You, might yet be, since it could be made of You. For what did heaven and earth, which You made in the beginning, deserve of You? Let those spiritual and corporeal natures, which Thou in Your wisdom made, declare what they deserve of You to depend thereon — even the inchoate and formless, each in its own kind, either spiritual or corporeal, going into excess, and into remote unlikeness unto You (the spiritual, though formless, more excellent than if it were a formed body; and the corporeal, though formless, more excellent than if it were altogether nothing), and thus they as formless would depend upon Your Word, unless by the same Word they were recalled to Your Unity, and endued with form, and from You, the one sovereign Good, were all made very good. How have they deserved of You, that they should be even formless, since they would not be even this except from You?

How has physical matter deserved from You to be even invisible and formless, since it would not have even this existence if You had not made it? And since it did not exist, it could not deserve from You that it should be made. Or how could the unformed spiritual creature deserve from You that even it should drift darkly like the deep—unlike You—if it had not been turned by the same Word through Whom it was created toward that by Whom it was made, and then enlightened by Him to become light? Though not equally, it was made conformable to that Form which is equal to You. For just as with a body, to exist is not the same as being beautiful (otherwise it could not be deformed), so also with a created spirit, to live is not the same as living wisely (for then it would be wise unchangeably). But it is good for it always to cling fast to You, lest by turning away from You it lose the light it obtained by turning to You, and fall back into a light resembling the dark deep. For even we ourselves, who as regards the soul are a spiritual creature, having turned away from You, our light, were in that life sometimes darkness, and still labor amid the remnants of our darkness, until in Your Only One we become Your righteousness, like the mountains of God. For we have been Your judgments, which are like the great deep.

3. How has corporeal matter deserved of You, to be even invisible and formless, Genesis 1:2 since it were not even this had Thou not made it; and therefore since it was not, it could not deserve of You that it should be made? Or how could the inchoate spiritual creature deserve of You, that even it should flow darksomely like the deep — unlike You, had it not been by the same Word turned to that by Whom it was created, and by Him so enlightened become light, although not equally, yet conformably to that Form which is equal unto You? For as to a body, to be is not all one with being beautiful, for then it could not be deformed; so also to a created spirit, to live is not all one with living wisely, for then it would be wise unchangeably. But it is good for it always to hold fast unto You, lest, in turning from You, it lose that light which it has obtained in turning to You, and relapse into a light resembling the darksome deep. For even we ourselves, who in respect of the soul are a spiritual creature, having turned away from You, our light, were in that life sometimes darkness; Ephesians 5:8 and do labour amidst the remains of our darkness, until in Your Only One we become Your righteousness, like the mountains of God. For we have been Your judgments, which are like the great deep.

But when you said at the beginning of creation, "Let there be light, and there was light," I reasonably understand this as referring to the spiritual creature, because there already existed a kind of life that you could illuminate. However, just as it had not earned from you the right to be the kind of life that could be enlightened, neither has it earned from you the right to be enlightened now that it exists. Its formless state could not please you unless it became light—not simply by existing, but by gazing upon the illuminating light and holding fast to it. Similarly, the fact that it lives and lives happily is owed entirely to your grace. Through a transforming change for the better, it is converted to that which cannot be changed into anything better or worse. Only you are this, because only you simply are—for you, living and living blessedly are not two different things, since you yourself are your own blessedness.

4. But what Thou said in the beginning of the creation, Let there be light, and there was light, Genesis 1:3 I do not unfitly understand of the spiritual creature; because there was even then a kind of life, which You might illuminate. But as it had not deserved of You that it should be such a life as could be enlightened, so neither, when it already was, has it deserved of You that it should be enlightened. For neither could its formlessness be pleasing unto You, unless it became light — not by merely existing, but by beholding the illuminating light, and cleaving unto it; so also, that it lives, and lives happily, it owes to nothing whatsoever but to Your grace; being converted by means of a better change unto that which can be changed neither into better nor into worse; the which Thou only art because Thou only simply art, to whom it is not one thing to live, another to live blessedly, since You are Yourself Your own Blessedness.

What, then, could be lacking in your goodness, which you yourself are, even if these things had never existed or had remained formless—things which you did not make out of any need, but out of the fullness of your goodness, holding them back and turning them into form, not because your joy was completed by them? Since you are perfect, their imperfection displeases you, and so they were perfected by you and became pleasing to you; but not as though you were imperfect and would be perfected by their perfection. For your good Spirit was borne over the waters, not held up by them as though he rested upon them. For those in whom your good Spirit is said to rest, he causes them to rest in himself. But your incorruptible and unchangeable will, which is completely sufficient for itself in itself, was borne over that life which you had made—a life for which simply living is not the same as living happily, since it lives even while flowing along in its own darkness. It remains for that life to be turned back to him by whom it was made, and to live more and more from the fountain of life, and in his light to see light, and to be perfected, and enlightened, and made happy.

5. What, therefore, could there be wanting unto Your good, which You Yourself art, although these things had either never been, or had remained formless — the which You made not out of any want, but out of the plenitude of Your goodness, restraining them and converting them to form not as though Your joy were perfected by them? For to You, being perfect, their imperfection is displeasing, and therefore were they perfected by You, and were pleasing unto You; but not as if You were imperfect, and were to be perfected in their perfection. For Your good Spirit was borne over the waters, Genesis 1:2 not borne up by them as if He rested upon them. For those in whom Your good Spirit is said to rest, Numbers 11:25 He causes to rest in Himself. But Your incorruptible and unchangeable will, which in itself is all-sufficient for itself, was borne over that life which You had made, to which to live is not all one with living happily, since, flowing in its own darkness, it lives also; for which it remains to be converted unto Him by whom it was made, and to live more and more by the fountain of life, and in His light to see light, and to be perfected, and enlightened, and made happy.

Look now, the Trinity appears to me in an enigma, and You, O my God, are that Trinity, since You, O Father, in the Beginning of our wisdom—which is Your Wisdom, born of Yourself, equal and co-eternal with You—that is, in Your Son, have created heaven and earth. We have said many things about the heaven of heavens, and about the earth invisible and formless, and about the darksome deep, with reference to the wandering defects of its spiritual deformity, which would have remained unless it had been converted to Him from whom came its life, such as it was, and which by His enlightening became a beautiful life, and the heaven of that heaven which was afterwards set between water and water. And under the name of God, I now understood the Father, who made these things; and under the name of the Beginning, the Son, in whom He made these things; and believing, as I did, that my God was the Trinity, I searched further in His holy words, and look, Your Spirit was borne over the waters. Look at the Trinity, O my God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—the Creator of all creation.

6. Behold now, the Trinity appears unto me in an enigma, which Thou, O my God, art, since Thou, O Father, in the Beginning of our wisdom — Which is Your Wisdom, born of Yourself, equal and co-eternal unto You — that is, in Your Son, hast created heaven and earth. Many things have we said of the heaven of heavens, and of the earth invisible and formless, and of the darksome deep, in reference to the wandering defects of its spiritual deformity, were it not converted unto Him from whom was its life, such as it was, and by His enlightening became a beauteous life, and the heaven of that heaven which was afterwards set between water and water. And under the name of God, I now held the Father, who made these things; and under the name of the Beginning, the Son, in whom He made these things; and believing, as I did, that my God was the Trinity, I sought further in His holy words, and behold, Your Spirit was borne over the waters. Behold the Trinity, O my God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost — the Creator of all creation.

But what was the cause, O You who speak the truth as Light? I lift up my heart to You—let it not teach me empty things. Scatter its darkness, and tell me, I beg You, by our mother charity, tell me, I beg You, the reason why Your Scripture mentions Your Spirit only after mentioning heaven and the invisible and formless earth, and darkness upon the deep. Was it because it was fitting that He should be spoken of as being borne over, and this could not be said unless what Your Spirit is understood to have been borne over was mentioned first? For He was not borne over the Father, nor the Son, nor could it rightly be said that He was borne over if He were borne over nothing. Therefore, what He might be borne over had to be spoken of first, and then He, whom it was not fitting to mention in any other way than as having been borne over. Why, then, was it not fitting that He should be mentioned in any other way than as being borne over?

7. But what was the cause, O Thou true-speaking Light? Unto You do I lift up my heart, let it not teach me vain things; disperse its darkness, and tell me, I beseech You, by our mother charity, tell me, I beseech You, the reason why, after the mention of heaven, and of the earth invisible and formless, and darkness upon the deep, Your Scripture should then at length mention Your Spirit? Was it because it was meet that it should be spoken of Him that He was borne over, and this could not be said, unless that were first mentioned over which Your Spirit may be understood to have been borne? For neither was He borne over the Father, nor the Son, nor could it rightly be said that He was borne over if He were borne over nothing. That, therefore, was first to be spoken of over which He might be borne; and then He, whom it was not meet to mention otherwise than as having been borne. Why, then, was it not meet that it should otherwise be mentioned of Him, than as having been borne over?

Let anyone who is able now follow your apostle with his understanding where he speaks this way, because "Your love is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us" (Romans 5:5), and where, concerning spiritual gifts, he teaches and shows us a more excellent way of charity, and where he bows his knees to You for us, that we may know the super-eminent knowledge of the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:14-19). And therefore, from the beginning He was super-eminently borne above the waters. To whom shall I tell this? How can I speak of the weight of lustful desires, pressing downward to the steep abyss? And how does charity raise us up again, through Your Spirit which was borne over the waters? To whom shall I tell it? How can I tell it? For there are not places in which we are submerged and from which we emerge. What can be more similar, and yet more different? They are affections, they are loves: the filthiness of our spirit flowing away downward with the love of cares, and the holiness of Yours raising us upward by the love of freedom from care, so that we may lift our hearts to You where Your Spirit is borne over the waters, and so that we may come to that pre-eminent rest, when our soul shall have passed through the waters which have no substance.

8. Hence let him that is able now follow Your apostle with his understanding where he thus speaks, because Your love is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us; Romans 5:5 and where, concerning spiritual gifts, he teaches and shows unto us a more excellent way of charity; and where he bows his knees unto You for us, that we may know the super-eminent knowledge of the love of Christ. Ephesians 3:14-19 And, therefore, from the beginning was He super-eminently borne above the waters. To whom shall I tell this? How speak of the weight of lustful desires, pressing downwards to the steep abyss? And how charity raises us up again, through Your Spirit which was borne over the waters? To whom shall I tell it? How tell it? For neither are there places in which we are merged and emerge. What can be more like, and yet more unlike? They be affections, they be loves; the filthiness of our spirit flowing away downwards with the love of cares, and the sanctity of Yours raising us upwards by the love of freedom from care; that we may lift our hearts unto You where Your Spirit is borne over the waters; and that we may come to that pre-eminent rest, when our soul shall have passed through the waters which have no substance.

The angels fell, and the soul of man fell, showing us the abyss in that dark depth that was ready for all spiritual creation—unless You had said from the beginning, "Let there be light," and there had been light, and every obedient intelligence of Your heavenly City had clung to You and rested in Your Spirit, which is unchangeably carried over everything changeable. Otherwise, even the heaven of heavens itself would have been a dark abyss, whereas now it is light in the Lord. For even in that miserable restlessness of the spirits who fell away and, when stripped of the garments of Your light, discovered their own darkness, You show clearly enough how noble You have made the rational creature. Nothing less than You will be enough to give her a happy rest—not even herself. For You, O our God, will enlighten our darkness; from You come our garments of light, and then our darkness will be as bright as noon. Give Yourself to me, O my God, restore Yourself to me. Look, I love You, and if that is too little, let me love You more strongly. I cannot measure my love so that I may know how much is still lacking in me before my life runs into Your embrace and is not turned away until it is hidden in the secret place of Your presence. This only I know: that I am in misery except in You—not only outside myself, but even within myself; and all abundance that is not my God is poverty to me.

9. The angels fell, the soul of man fell and they have thus indicated the abyss in that dark deep, ready for the whole spiritual creation, unless You had said from the beginning, Let there be light, and there had been light, and every obedient intelligence of Your celestial City had cleaved to You, and rested in Your Spirit, which unchangeably is borne over everything changeable. Otherwise, even the heaven of heavens itself would have been a darksome deep, whereas now it is light in the Lord. For even in that wretched restlessness of the spirits who fell away, and, when unclothed of the garments of Your light, discovered their own darkness, dost Thou sufficiently disclose how noble You have made the rational creature; to which nought which is inferior to You will suffice to yield a happy rest, and so not even herself. For Thou, O our God, shall enlighten our darkness; from You are derived our garments of light, and then shall our darkness be as the noonday. Give Yourself unto me, O my God, restore Yourself unto me; behold, I love You, and if it be too little, let me love You more strongly. I cannot measure my love, so that I may come to know how much there is yet wanting in me, ere my life run into Your embracements, and not be turned away until it be hidden in the secret place of Your Presence. This only I know, that woe is me except in You — not only without, but even also within myself; and all plenty which is not my God is poverty to me.

If we understand this to mean in space, as a body would be, then neither was the Holy Spirit borne over the waters in that way. But if we understand it to mean the unchangeable excellence of divinity standing above everything that changes, then the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit were all borne over the waters. Why, then, is this said only of your Spirit? Why is it said of him alone, as if he were in a physical place when he is not in any place? Yet it is written only of him that he is your gift. In your gift we find rest; there we enjoy you. Our rest is our proper place. Love lifts us up to that place, and your good Spirit lifts our lowliness from the gates of death. In your good pleasure lies our peace. A body is drawn by its own weight toward its proper place. Weight does not only go downward but toward its proper place. Fire tends upward, a stone downward. They are moved by their own weights; they seek their proper places. Oil poured under water rises above the water; water poured on oil sinks below the oil. They are moved by their own weights; they seek their proper places. When out of order, they are restless; when restored to order, they are at rest. My weight is my love; I am carried wherever I am carried by it. By your gift we are set on fire and carried upward; we grow hot within and move forward. We ascend the ways that are in our heart and sing a song of ascents; we glow within with your fire, your good fire, and we go because we go upward to the peace of Jerusalem. For I was glad when they said to me, Let us go into the house of the Lord. There your good pleasure has placed us, so that we may desire nothing else than to dwell there forever.

10. But was not either the Father or the Son borne over the waters? If we understand this to mean in space, as a body, then neither was the Holy Spirit; but if the incommutable super-eminence of Divinity above everything mutable, then both Father, and Son, and Holy Ghost were borne over the waters. Why, then, is this said of Your Spirit only? Why is it said of Him alone? As if He had been in place who is not in place, of whom only it is written, that He is Your gift? In Your gift we rest; there we enjoy You. Our rest is our place. Love lifts us up there, and Your good Spirit lifts our lowliness from the gates of death. In Your good pleasure lies our peace. The body by its own weight gravitates towards its own place. Weight goes not downward only, but to its own place. Fire tends upwards, a stone downwards. They are propelled by their own weights, they seek their own places. Oil poured under the water is raised above the water; water poured upon oil sinks under the oil. They are propelled by their own weights, they seek their own places. Out of order, they are restless; restored to order, they are at rest. My weight is my love; by it am I borne wherever I am borne. By Your Gift we are inflamed, and are borne upwards; we wax hot inwardly, and go forwards. We ascend Your ways that be in our heart, and sing a song of degrees; we glow inwardly with Your fire, with Your good fire, and we go, because we go upwards to the peace of Jerusalem; for glad was I when they said to me, Let us go into the house of the Lord. There has Your good pleasure placed us, that we may desire no other thing than to dwell there forever.

Happy creature, which, though it was different from You in itself, has never known any state other than this: as soon as it was made, it was immediately raised up by Your Gift—which moves over everything changeable—through that calling by which You said, "Let there be light," and there was light, with no gap in time. While for us there is a difference in time, since we were darkness and have been made light, for that creature it is only said what it would have been if it had not been enlightened. This is stated as if it had been unstable and dark before, so that the cause by which it was made different might be clear—namely, that by turning to the Light that never fails, it became light. Let whoever can understand this do so; and let whoever cannot ask You. Why should he trouble me, as if I could enlighten any person who comes into the world?

11. Happy creature, which, though in itself it was other than You, has known no other state than that as soon as it was made, it was, without any interval of time, by Your Gift, which is borne over everything mutable, raised up by that calling whereby Thou said, Let there be light, and there was light. Whereas in us there is a difference of times, in that we were darkness, and are made light; Ephesians 5:8 but of that it is only said what it would have been had it not been enlightened. And this is so spoken as if it had been fleeting and darksome before; that so the cause whereby it was made to be otherwise might appear — that is to say, being turned to the unfailing Light it might become light. Let him who is able understand this; and let him who is not, ask of You. Why should he trouble me, as if I could enlighten any man that comes into the world?

Who among us understands the Almighty Trinity? And yet who does not speak about it, if indeed this is what we're speaking about? It is rare to find a person who, while speaking about it, actually knows what they are talking about. People argue and debate, but no one sees that vision without peace. I wish that people would carefully consider these three things that exist within themselves. These three are very different from the Trinity, but I mention them so that people may exercise and test themselves with them, and discover just how different they actually are. The three things I'm talking about are: to be, to know, and to will. For I exist, and I know, and I will; I exist as one who knows and wills; and I know that I exist and that I will; and I will to exist and to know. In these three things, then, let whoever can perceive how inseparable a life there is—one life, one mind, and one essence—and finally, how inseparable yet distinct they are. Certainly anyone has this before them; let them look within themselves, observe it, and tell me about it. But when someone discovers something about these things and can articulate it, they should not then assume they have discovered that which is above these things—the Unchangeable, which exists unchangeably, and knows unchangeably, and wills unchangeably. And whether because of these three things there is also a Trinity where they exist; or whether these three exist in each person of the Trinity so that all three belong to each one; or whether both explanations are simultaneously true—in a manner that is wonderfully simple yet diverse, a limit unto itself within itself, yet unlimited; by which the Trinity exists and knows itself and is sufficient unto itself, unchangeably the same, through the abundant greatness of its unity—who can easily grasp this? Who can express it in any way? Who would rashly pronounce judgment on it?

12. Which of us understands the Almighty Trinity? And yet which speaks not of It, if indeed it be It? Rare is that soul which, while it speaks of It, knows what it speaks of. And they contend and strive, but no one without peace sees that vision. I could wish that men would consider these three things that are in themselves. These three are far other than the Trinity; but I speak of things in which they may exercise and prove themselves, and feel how far other they be. But the three things I speak of are, To Be, to Know, and to Will. For I Am, and I Know, and I Will; I Am Knowing and Willing; and I Know myself to Be and to Will; and I Will to Be and to Know. In these three, therefore, let him who can see how inseparable a life there is — even one life, one mind, and one essence; finally, how inseparable is the distinction, and yet a distinction. Surely a man has it before him; let him look into himself, and see, and tell me. But when he discovers and can say anything of these, let him not then think that he has discovered that which is above these Unchangeable, which Is unchangeably, and Knows unchangeably, and Wills unchangeably. And whether on account of these three there is also, where they are, a Trinity; or whether these three be in Each, so that the three belong to Each; or whether both ways at once, wondrously, simply, and vet diversely, in Itself a limit unto Itself, yet illimitable; whereby It is, and is known unto Itself, and suffices to Itself, unchangeably the Self-same, by the abundant magnitude of its Unity — who can readily conceive? Who in any wise express it? Who in any way rashly pronounce thereon?

Proceed in your confession, say to the Lord your God, O my faith, Holy, Holy, Holy, O Lord my God, in Your name we have been baptized, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, in Your name we baptize, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, because among us also in His Christ God made heaven and earth, namely, the spiritual and physical people of His Church. Yes, and our earth, before it received the form of teaching, was invisible and formless, and we were covered with the darkness of ignorance. For You correct human beings for sin, and Your judgments are a great deep. But because Your Spirit was carried over the waters, Your mercy did not abandon our misery, and You said, Let there be light, Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near. Repent, let there be light. And because our soul was troubled within us, we remembered You, O Lord, from the land of Jordan, and that mountain equal to Yourself, but made small for our sake; and being displeased with our darkness, we turned to You, and there was light. And look, we were once darkness, but now we are light in the Lord.

13. Proceed in your confession, say to the Lord your God, O my faith, Holy, Holy, Holy, O Lord my God, in Your name have we been baptized, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, in Your name do we baptize, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Matthew 28:19 because among us also in His Christ did God make heaven and earth, namely, the spiritual and carnal people of His Church. Yea, and our earth, before it received the form of doctrine, Romans 6:17 was invisible and formless, and we were covered with the darkness of ignorance. For Thou correctest man for iniquity, and Your judgments are a great deep. But because Your Spirit was borne over the waters, Genesis 1:3 Your mercy forsook not our misery, and Thou said, Let there be light, Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Matthew 3:2 Repent, let there be light. And because our soul was troubled within us, we remembered You, O Lord, from the land of Jordan, and that mountain equal unto Yourself, but little for our sakes; and upon our being displeased with our darkness, we turned unto You, and there was light. And, behold, we were sometimes darkness, but now light in the Lord. Ephesians 5:8

For now we live by faith, not by sight, because we are saved by hope; but hope that is seen is not hope. For now deep calls to deep in the noise of Your waterspouts. And even the one who says, I could not speak to you as spiritual people, but as carnal ones, even he does not yet consider himself to have grasped it, and he forgets what lies behind and reaches forward to what lies ahead, and groans under his burden; and his soul thirsts for the living God, as the deer thirsts for water-brooks, and says, When shall I come? He desires to be clothed with his house which is from heaven, and he calls to this lower deep, saying, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And, Do not be children in understanding, but in malice be children, so that in understanding you may be mature; and O foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you? But now not in his own voice, but in Yours who sent Your Spirit from above, through Him who ascended up on high and opened the flood-gates of His gifts, so that the force of His streams might make glad the city of God. For the friend of the bridegroom sighs for Him, having now the first-fruits of the Spirit stored up with Him, yet still groaning within himself, waiting for the adoption, that is, the redemption of his body. He sighs to Him, because he is a member of the Bride; he is jealous for Him, because he is the friend of the Bridegroom; he is jealous for Him, not for himself; because it is in the voice of Your waterspouts, not in his own voice, that he calls to that other deep, for whom being jealous he fears, lest just as the serpent deceived Eve through his cunning, so their minds should be corrupted from the purity that is in our Bridegroom, Your only Son. What a light of beauty that will be when we shall see Him as He is, and those tears will have passed away which have been my food day and night, while they continually say to me, Where is your God?

14. But as yet by faith, not by sight, 2 Corinthians 5:7 for we are saved by hope; but hope that is seen is not hope. Romans 8:24 As yet deep calls unto deep but in the noise of Your waterspouts. And as yet does he that says, I could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, 1 Corinthians 3:1 even he, as yet, does not count himself to have apprehended, and forgets those things which are behind, and reaches forth to those things which are before, Philippians 3:13 and groans being burdened; and his soul thirsts after the living God, as the hart after the water-brooks, and says, When shall I come? desiring to be clothed upon with his house which is from heaven; 2 Corinthians 5:2 and calls upon this lower deep, saying, Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2 And, Be not children in understanding, howbeit in malice be children, that in understanding you may be perfect; and O foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you? Galatians 3:1 But now not in his own voice, but in Yours who sent Your Spirit from above; Acts 2:19 through Him who ascended up on high, Ephesians 4:8 and set open the flood-gates of His gifts, Malachi 3:10 that the force of His streams might make glad the city of God. For, for Him does the friend of the bridegroom John 3:29 sigh, having now the first-fruits of the Spirit laid up with Him, yet still groaning within himself, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of his body; Romans 8:23 to Him he sighs, for he is a member of the Bride; for Him is he jealous, for he is the friend of the Bridegroom; John 3:29 for Him is he jealous, not for himself; because in the voice of Your waterspouts, not in his own voice, does he call on that other deep, for whom being jealous he fears, lest that, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtlety, so their minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in our Bridegroom, You only Son. What a light of beauty will that be when we shall see Him as He is, and those tears be passed away which have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is your God?

I say the same, my God: where are You? Look, there You are! In You I catch my breath for a moment when I pour out my soul alone in the voice of joy and praise, the sound of one celebrating a feast. Yet my soul is still cast down because it falls back and becomes a deep—or rather it realizes that it still is a deep. My faith, which You have kindled to light my path in the night, speaks to it: Why are you cast down, my soul, and why are you troubled within me? Hope in God, for His word is a lamp to my feet. Hope and endure until the night passes—the night that is the mother of the wicked—until the Lord's anger passes, for we too were once children of that night, we who were formerly darkness, whose remnants we still carry in our body that is dead because of sin, until the day dawns and the shadows flee away. Hope in the Lord. In the morning I will stand in Your presence and look upon You; I will confess to You forever. In the morning I will stand in Your presence and will see the salvation of my countenance, my God, who will also give life to our mortal bodies by the Spirit who dwells in us, because in His mercy He hovered over our inner darkness and churning deep. From this we have received in this pilgrimage a pledge that we should now be light, though we are still saved by hope, and are children of light and children of the day—not children of the night or of the darkness, which we once were. Between them and us, in this still uncertain state of human knowledge, You alone make the division, You who test our hearts and call the light day and the darkness night. For who distinguishes us except You? And what do we have that we have not received from You? From the same lump are made vessels for honor, just as others are also made for dishonor.

15. And so say I too, O my God, where are You? Behold where You are! In You I breathe a little, when I pour out my soul by myself in the voice of joy and praise, the sound of him that keeps holy-day. And yet it is cast down, because it relapses and becomes a deep, or rather it feels that it is still a deep. Unto it does my faith speak which You have kindled to enlighten my feet in the night, Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted in me? hope in God; His word is a lamp unto my feet. Hope and endure until the night — the mother of the wicked — until the anger of the Lord be overpast, Job 14:13 whereof we also were once children who were sometimes darkness, the remains whereof we carry about us in our body, dead on account of sin, Romans 8:10 until the day break and the shadows flee away. Song of Songs 2:17 Hope in the Lord. In the morning I shall stand in Your presence, and contemplate You; I shall for ever confess unto You. In the morning I shall stand in Your presence, and shall see the health of my countenance, my God, who also shall quicken our mortal bodies by the Spirit that dwells in us, Romans 8:11 because in mercy He was borne over our inner darksome and floating deep. Whence we have in this pilgrimage received an earnest 2 Corinthians 1:22 that we should now be light, while as yet we are saved by hope, Romans 8:24 and are the children of light, and the children of the day — not the children of the night nor of the darkness, which yet we have been. Between whom and us, in this as yet uncertain state of human knowledge, Thou only dividest, who provest our hearts and callest the light day, and the darkness night. Genesis 1:5 For who discerns us but Thou? But what have we that we have not received of You? 1 Corinthians 4:7 Out of the same lump vessels unto honour, of which others also are made to dishonour. Romans 9:21

Or who but You, our God, made for us that firmament of authority over us in Your divine Scripture? As it is said, "For heaven shall be folded up like a scroll," and now it is extended over us like a skin. For Your divine Scripture has more sublime authority because those mortals through whom You gave it to us experienced mortality. And You know, O Lord, You know, how You clothed men with skins when they became mortal through sin. This is why You have stretched out the firmament of Your Book like a skin—that is, Your harmonious words, which You have spread over us through the service of mortal men. For through their very death, that solid firmament of authority in Your words proclaimed by them is extended more sublimely above all things beneath it. While they were still living here, it was not extended so prominently. You had not yet spread out the heaven like a skin; You had not yet proclaimed everywhere the news of their deaths.

16. Or who but Thou, our God, made for us that firmament Genesis 1:6 of authority over us in Your divine Scripture? As it is said, For heaven shall be folded up like a scroll; and now it is extended over us like a skin. For Your divine Scripture is of more sublime authority, since those mortals through whom You dispensed it unto us underwent mortality. And You know, O Lord, You know, how Thou with skins clothed men when by sin they became mortal. Whence as a skin have You stretched out the firmament of Your Book; that is to say, Your harmonious words, which by the ministry of mortals You have spread over us. For by their very death is that solid firmament of authority in Your discourses set forth by them more sublimely extended above all things that are under it, the which, while they were living here, was not so eminently extended. You had not as yet spread abroad the heaven like a skin; You had not as yet announced everywhere the report of their deaths.

Let us look, O Lord, upon the heavens, the work of Your fingers; clear from our eyes that mist with which You have covered them. There is that testimony of Yours which gives wisdom to the little ones. Perfect, O my God, Your praise out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants. Nor have we known any other books so destructive to pride, so destructive to the enemy and the defender who resists Your reconciliation in defense of his own sins. I know not, O Lord, I know not other such pure words which so persuade me to confession, and make my neck submissive to Your yoke, and invite me to serve You for nothing. Let me understand these things, good Father. Grant this to me, placed under them, because You have established these things for those placed under them.

17. Let us look, O Lord, upon the heavens, the work of Your fingers; clear from our eyes that mist with which You have covered them. There is that testimony of Yours which gives wisdom unto the little ones. Perfect, O my God, Your praise out of the mouth of babes and sucklings. Nor have we known any other books so destructive to pride, so destructive to the enemy and the defender, who resists Your reconciliation in defense of his own sins. I know not, O Lord, I know not other such pure words which so persuade me to confession, and make my neck submissive to Your yoke, and invite me to serve You for nought. Let me understand these things, good Father. Grant this to me, placed under them; because You have established these things for those placed under them.

There are other waters above this firmament—I believe they are immortal and free from earthly decay. Let those super-celestial people, your angels, who have no need to look up at this firmament or to learn of your Word by reading, praise your Name. They always behold your face, and there they read without any syllables marked by time what your eternal will desires. They read, they choose, they love. They are always reading, and what they read never passes away. By choosing and loving, they read the very unchangeableness of your plan. Their book is never closed, nor is their scroll ever rolled up, because you yourself are this to them, and you are so eternally. You have placed them above this firmament, which you made firm over the weakness of the people below, so that these lower people might look up and learn of your mercy, which declares in time the God who made all times. For your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens, and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. The clouds pass away, but the heaven remains. The preachers of your Word pass from this life into another, but your Scripture is spread among the people even to the end of the world. Yes, both heaven and earth will pass away, but your words will not pass away. The scroll will be rolled up, and the grass over which it was spread will pass away with all its beauty, but your Word remains forever. That Word now appears to us in the dark image of the clouds and through the glass of the heavens, but not as it truly is, because even though we are the beloved of your Son, it has not yet appeared what we shall be. He looks through the lattice of our flesh, and he speaks beautifully and has inflamed us, and we run after his fragrance. But when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. As he is, O Lord, we shall see him, though the time is not yet.

18. Other waters there be above this firmament, I believe immortal, and removed from earthly corruption. Let them praise Your Name — those super-celestial people, Your angels, who have no need to look up at this firmament, or by reading to attain the knowledge of Your Word, — let them praise You. For they always behold Your face, Matthew 18:10 and therein read without any syllables in time what Your eternal will wills. They read, they choose, they love. They are always reading; and that which they read never passes away. For, by choosing and by loving, they read the very unchangeableness of Your counsel. Their book is not closed, nor is the scroll folded up, Isaiah 34:4 because You Yourself art this to them, yea, and art so eternally; because You have appointed them above this firmament, which You have made firm over the weakness of the lower people, where they might look up and learn Your mercy, announcing in time You who hast made times. For Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens, and Your faithfulness reaches unto the clouds. The clouds pass away, but the heaven remains. The preachers of Your Word pass away from this life into another; but Your Scripture is spread abroad over the people, even to the end of the world. Yea, both heaven and earth shall pass away, but Your Words shall not pass away. Matthew 24:35 Because the scroll shall be rolled together, Isaiah 34:4 and the grass over which it was spread shall with its goodliness pass away; but Your Word remains for ever, which now appears unto us in the dark image of the clouds, and through the glass of the heavens, not as it is; 1 Corinthians 13:12 because we also, although we be the well-beloved of Your Son, yet it has not yet appeared what we shall be. 1 John 3:2 He looks through the lattice Song of Songs 2:9 of our flesh, and He is fair-speaking, and has inflamed us, and we run after His odours. Song of Songs 1:3 But when He shall appear, then shall we be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. 1 John 3:2 As He is, O Lord, shall we see Him, although the time be not yet.

You alone know Yourself fully as You truly are, because You are unchangeable, and You know unchangeably, and You will unchangeably. And Your Essence Knows and Wills unchangeably; and Your Knowledge Is, and Wills unchangeably; and Your Will Is, and Knows unchangeably. It does not seem right to You that the Unchangeable Light should be known by what is enlightened and changeable in the same way that the Unchangeable Light knows Itself. Therefore my soul is like a land without water before You, because just as it cannot give light to itself, so it cannot satisfy itself. For the fountain of life is with You, and in Your light we shall see light.

19. For altogether as You are, Thou only know, Who art unchangeably, and know unchangeably, and willest unchangeably. And Your Essence Knows and Wills unchangeably; and Your Knowledge Is, and Wills unchangeably; and Your Will Is, and Knows unchangeably. Nor does it appear just to You, that as the Unchangeable Light knows Itself, so should It be known by that which is enlightened and changeable. Therefore unto You is my soul as land where no water is, because as it cannot of itself enlighten itself, so it cannot of itself satisfy itself. For so is the fountain of life with You, like as in Your light we shall see light.

Who has gathered the bitter people together into one society? For they all have the same goal: temporal and earthly happiness, for which they do everything, even though they may waver with countless different concerns. Who, O Lord, unless You, said, "Let the waters be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear, which thirsts after You"? For the sea is also Yours, and You made it, and Your hands prepared the dry land. For it is not the bitterness of human wills, but the gathering together of waters that is called sea. For You also restrain the wicked desires of human souls, and You set their boundaries—how far they may be permitted to go—and their waves break against each other. And thus You make it a sea, by the ordering of Your dominion over all things.

20. Who has gathered the embittered together into one society? For they have all the same end, that of temporal and earthly happiness, on account of which they do all things, although they may fluctuate with an innumerable variety of cares. Who, O Lord, unless Thou, said, Let the waters be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear, which thirsts after You? For the sea also is Yours, and You have made it, and Your hands prepared the dry land. For neither is the bitterness of men's wills, but the gathering together of waters called sea; for Thou even curbest the wicked desires of men's souls, and fixest their bounds, how far they may be permitted to advance, and that their waves may be broken against each other; and thus dost Thou make it a sea, by the order of Your dominion over all things.

The souls that thirst for You and appear before You are separated by other boundaries from the society of the sea. You water them through a secret and sweet spring so that the earth may bring forth its fruit. You, O Lord God, command this so that our soul may produce works of mercy according to their kind—loving our neighbor by relieving his bodily needs. We have seed in ourselves according to our likeness when, out of our own weakness, we feel compassion that leads us to help the needy. We help them in the same way we would want to be helped if we were in similar need. This applies not only to easy things, like herb yielding seed, but also to protecting others through our assistance and strength, like the tree yielding fruit. This means doing good by rescuing someone who suffers injury from the hand of the powerful, and providing them with the shelter of protection through the mighty strength of just judgment.

21. But as for the souls that thirst after You, and that appear before You (being by other bounds divided from the society of the sea), them Thou waterest by a secret and sweet spring, that the earth may bring forth her fruit, and, You, O Lord God, so commanding, our soul may bud forth works of mercy according to their kind, — loving our neighbour in the relief of his bodily necessities, having seed in itself according to its likeness, when from our infirmity we compassionate even to the relieving of the needy; helping them in a like manner as we would that help should be brought unto us if we were in a like need; not only in the things that are easy, as in herb yielding seed, but also in the protection of our assistance, in our very strength, like the tree yielding fruit; that is, a good turn in delivering him who suffers an injury from the hand of the powerful, and in furnishing him with the shelter of protection by the mighty strength of just judgment.

O Lord, I beg you, let this happen just as you create it and give us joy and ability—let truth spring from the earth, let righteousness look down from heaven, and let there be lights in the firmament. Let us share our bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into our house. Let us clothe the naked and not despise those who are our own flesh and blood. When these fruits have sprung from the earth, see that it is good, and let our temporary light break forth. From this lower fruit of action, as we possess the joys of contemplation and of the Word of Life above, let us appear as lights in the world, holding fast to the firmament of your Scripture. For in Scripture you make it clear to us that we should distinguish between things intelligible and things of sense, as if between day and night, or between souls—some devoted to intellectual things, others to sensory things. In this way, not only do you in the secret of your judgment, as before the firmament was made, divide between light and darkness, but your spiritual children also, placed and arranged in the same firmament (with your grace made visible throughout the world), may give light upon the earth and divide between day and night, and serve as signs of the times. This is because old things have passed away and all things have become new, and because our salvation is nearer than when we first believed, and because the night is far spent and the day is at hand. You will crown your year with blessing, sending the workers of your goodness into your harvest, into which others have labored in sowing, and also sending them into another field whose harvest will come at the end. In this way you grant the prayers of those who ask and bless the years of the righteous. But you are the same, and in your years that never fail you prepare a storehouse for our passing years. For by an eternal plan you bestow heavenly blessings upon the earth in their proper seasons.

22. Thus, O Lord, thus, I beseech You, let there arise, as You make, as You give joy and ability — let truth spring out of the earth, and righteousness look down from heaven, and let there be lights in the firmament. Genesis 1:14 Let us break our bread to the hungry, and let us bring the houseless poor to our house. Isaiah 58:7 Let us clothe the naked, and despise not those of our own flesh. The which fruits having sprung forth from the earth, behold, because it is good; Genesis 1:12 and let our temporary light burst forth; Isaiah 58:8 and let us, from this inferior fruit of action, possessing the delights of contemplation and of the Word of Life above, let us appear as lights in the world, Philippians 2:15 clinging to the firmament of Your Scripture. For therein You make it plain unto us, that we may distinguish between things intelligible and things of sense, as if between the day and the night; or between souls, given, some to things intellectual, others to things of sense; so that now not Thou only in the secret of Your judgment, as before the firmament was made, dividest between the light and the darkness, but Your spiritual children also, placed and ranked in the same firmament (Your grace being manifest throughout the world), may give light upon the earth, and divide between the day and night, and be for signs of times; because old things have passed away, and behold all things have become new; 2 Corinthians 5:17 and because our salvation is nearer than when we believed; Romans 13:11-12 and because the night is far spent, the day is at hand; Romans 13:11-12 and because You will crown Your year with blessing, sending the labourers of Your goodness into Your harvest, Matthew 9:38 in the sowing of which others have laboured, sending also into another field, whose harvest shall be in the end. Matthew 13:39 Thus Thou grantest the prayers of him that asks, and blessest the years of the just; Proverbs 10:6 but You are the same, and in Your years which fail not Thou preparest a garner for our passing years. For by an eternal counsel Thou dost in their proper seasons bestow upon the earth heavenly blessings.

The Spirit indeed gives to one person the word of wisdom, like the greater light, for the sake of those who delight in the light of clear truth, as at the beginning of the day. To another person the same Spirit gives the word of knowledge, like the lesser light. To another faith, to another the gift of healing, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the discerning of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues. All these are like stars. For the one and same Spirit does all these works, distributing to each person individually as He wills, and making stars appear openly to bring benefit. But the word of knowledge, in which all sacraments are contained and which varies in its seasons like the moon, along with the other expressions of gifts that are listed one after another like stars—since these fall short of that brightness of wisdom in which the previously mentioned day rejoices—these are only for the beginning of the night. They are necessary for those to whom Your most wise servant could not speak as to spiritual people, but only as to carnal ones—the same servant who speaks wisdom among those who are mature. But the natural man, who is a baby in Christ and a drinker of milk until he becomes strong enough for solid food, and until his eye is able to look upon the Sun, should not live in his own abandoned night but should be satisfied with the light of the moon and the stars. You explain these things to us, our all-wise God, in Your Book, Your firmament, so that we may understand all things in wonderful contemplation, though still in signs and in times and in days and in years.

23. For, indeed, to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom, as if the greater light, on account of those who are delighted with the light of manifest truth, as in the beginning of the day; but to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit, as if the lesser light; to another faith; to another the gift of healing; to another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another the discerning of spirits; to another various kinds of tongues. And all these as stars. For all these works the one and self-same Spirit, dividing to every man his own as He wills; 1 Corinthians 12:8-11 and making stars appear manifestly, to profit withal. 1 Corinthians 12:7 But the word of knowledge, wherein are contained all sacraments, which are varied in their periods like the moon, and the other conceptions of gifts, which are successively reckoned up as stars, inasmuch as they come short of that splendour of wisdom in which the fore-mentioned day rejoices, are only for the beginning of the night. For they are necessary to such as he Your most prudent servant could not speak unto as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal 1 Corinthians 3:1 — even he who speaks wisdom among those that are perfect. 1 Corinthians 2:6 But the natural man, as a babe in Christ — and a drinker of milk — until he be strengthened for solid meat, and his eye be enabled to look upon the Sun, let him not dwell in his own deserted night, but let him be contented with the light of the moon and the stars. Thou reasonest these things with us, our All-wise God, in Your Book, Your firmament, that we may discern all things in an admirable contemplation, although as yet in signs, and in times, and in days, and in years.

But first, Wash you, make you clean; put away iniquity from your souls, and from before my eyes, so that the dry land may appear. Learn to do well; judge the fatherless; plead for the widow, so that the earth may bring forth the green herb for food, and the tree bearing fruit; and come let us reason together, says the Lord, so that there may be lights in the firmament of heaven, and that they may shine upon the earth. That rich man asked the good Master what he should do to attain eternal life. Let the good Master, whom he thought was just a man and nothing more, tell him (but He is good because He is God)—let Him tell him that if he wants to enter into life he must keep the commandments; let him remove from himself the bitterness of malice and wickedness; let him not kill, nor commit adultery, nor steal, nor bear false witness; so that the dry land may appear and bring forth the honoring of father and mother, and the love of our neighbor. All these, he says, I have kept. Why then are there so many thorns, if the earth is fruitful? Go, root up the overgrown thicket of greed; sell what you have, and be filled with fruit by giving to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and follow the Lord if you want to be perfect, joined with those among whom He speaks wisdom, who knows what to give to the day and to the night, so that you also may know it, so that for you also there may be lights in the firmament of heaven, which will not be unless your heart is there; which likewise also will not be unless your treasure is there, as you have heard from the good Master. But the barren earth was grieved, and the thorns choked the word.

24. But first, Wash you, make you clean; put away iniquity from your souls, and from before my eyes, that the dry land may appear. Learn to do well; judge the fatherless; plead for the widow, that the earth may bring forth the green herb for meat, and the tree bearing fruit; and come let us reason together, says the Lord, Isaiah 1:l8 that there may be lights in the firmament of heaven, and that they may shine upon the earth. Genesis 1:15 That rich man asked of the good Master what he should do to attain eternal life. Matthew 19:16 Let the good Master, whom he thought a man, and nothing more, tell him (but He is good because He is God) — let Him tell him, that if he would enter into life he must keep the commandments; let him banish from himself the bitterness of malice and wickedness; 1 Corinthians 5:8 let him not kill, nor commit adultery, nor steal, nor bear false witness; that the dry land may appear, and bud forth the honouring of father and mother, and the love of our neighbour. Matthew 19:16-19 All these, says he, have I kept. Whence, then, are there so many thorns, if the earth be fruitful? Go, root up the woody thicket of avarice; sell that you have, and be filled with fruit by giving to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and follow the Lord if you will be perfect, coupled with those among whom He speaks wisdom, Who knows what to distribute to the day and to the night, that you also may know it, that for you also there may be lights in the firmament of heaven, which will not be unless your heart be there; Matthew 6:21 which likewise also will not be unless your treasure be there, as you have heard from the good Master. But the barren earth was grieved, Matthew 19:22 and the thorns choked the word. Matthew 13:7, 22

You are the chosen generation, you weak things of the world who have left everything behind to follow the Lord—go after Him and put to shame the things that are mighty. Go after Him with your beautiful feet and shine in the firmament, so that the heavens may declare His glory, making a distinction between the light of the mature (though not as brilliant as the angels) and the darkness of the spiritually small (though they are not to be despised). Shine over all the earth. Let the day, lit by the sun, speak to the next day the word of wisdom, and let the night, shining by the moon, announce to the next night the word of knowledge. The moon and stars shine for the night, and the night does not obscure them but is illuminated by them to the degree it can receive. For see, God is saying, as it were, "Let there be lights in the firmament of heaven." Suddenly there came a sound from heaven like the rushing of a mighty wind, and there appeared divided tongues as of fire that rested on each of them. And so lights were made in the firmament of heaven, carrying the word of life. Run everywhere, you holy fires, you beautiful fires, for you are the light of the world and must not be hidden under a bushel. The one you cling to is exalted and has exalted you. Run everywhere and make yourselves known to all nations.

25. But you, chosen generation, 1 Peter 2:9 you weak things of the world, who have forsaken all things that you might follow the Lord, go after Him, and confound the things which are mighty; 1 Corinthians 1:27 go after Him, you beautiful feet, Isaiah 52:7 and shine in the firmament, Daniel 12:3 that the heavens may declare His glory, dividing between the light of the perfect, though not as of the angels, and the darkness of the little, though not despised ones. Shine over all the earth, and let the day, lightened by the sun, utter unto day the word of wisdom; and let night, shining by the moon, announce unto night the word of knowledge. The moon and the stars shine for the night, but the night obscures them not, since they illumine it in its degree. For behold God (as it were) saying, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven. There came suddenly a sound from heaven, as it had been the rushing of a mighty wind, and there appeared cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. Acts 2:3 And there were made lights in the firmament of heaven, having the word of life. 1 John 1:1 Run to and fro everywhere, you holy fires, you beautiful fires; for you are the light of the world, nor are you put under a bushel. Matthew 5:14 He to whom you cleave is exalted, and has exalted you. Run to and fro, and be known unto all nations.

Let the sea also conceive and bring forth your works, and let the waters bring forth the moving creatures that have life. For you, who separate the precious from the worthless, have been made the mouth of God, through which He says, "Let the waters bring forth"—not the living creature which the earth brings forth, but the moving creature having life, and the birds that fly above the earth. For Your sacraments, O God, through the ministry of Your holy ones, have made their way through the waves of the world's temptations to instruct the Gentiles in Your Name, in Your Baptism. And among these things, many great works of wonder have been performed, like great whales. And the voices of Your messengers fly above the earth, near to the firmament of Your Book, which is set over them as an authority under which they were to fly wherever they went. For there is no speech or language where their voice is not heard, since their sound has gone through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world, because You, O Lord, have multiplied these things by blessing.

26. Let the sea also conceive and bring forth your works, and let the waters bring forth the moving creatures that have life. Genesis 1:20 For you, who take forth the precious from the vile, Jeremiah 15:19 have been made the mouth of God, through which He says, Let the waters bring forth, not the living creature which the earth brings forth, but the moving creature having life, and the fowls that fly above the earth. For Your sacraments, O God, by the ministry of Your holy ones, have made their way amid the billows of the temptations of the world, to instruct the Gentiles in Your Name, in Your Baptism. And among these things, many great works of wonder have been wrought, like as great whales; and the voices of Your messengers flying above the earth, near to the firmament of Your Book; that being set over them as an authority, under which they were to fly wherever they were to go. For there is no speech, nor language, where their voice is not heard; seeing their sound has gone through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world, because Thou, O Lord, hast multiplied these things by blessing. Genesis 1:4

Am I lying, or am I mixing things together and confusing them instead of distinguishing between the clear knowledge of those things that are in the firmament of heaven and the bodily works in the moving sea and under the firmament of heaven? For those things whose knowledge is solid and defined, without increase through generation, are like lights of wisdom and knowledge. Yet the material operations of these same things are many and varied, and one thing growing from another is multiplied by your blessing, O God, who have refreshed the weariness of mortal senses. In this way, one thing in the knowledge of our mind may be set out and expressed in many ways through the motions of the body. The waters have brought forth these sacraments, but in your Word. The needs of the people estranged from the eternity of your truth have produced them, but in your Gospel, because the waters themselves have cast them forth—the bitter weakness of the waters being the cause of these things being sent forth in your Word.

27. Whether do I lie, or do I mingle and confound, and not distinguish between the clear knowledge of these things that are in the firmament of heaven, and the corporeal works in the undulating sea and under the firmament of heaven? For of those things whereof the knowledge is solid and defined, without increase by generation, as it were lights of wisdom and knowledge, yet of these self-same things the material operations are many and varied; and one thing in growing from another is multiplied by Your blessing, O God, who hast refreshed the fastidiousness of mortal senses; so that in the knowledge of our mind, one thing may, through the motions of the body, be in many ways set out and expressed. These sacraments have the waters brought forth; but in Your Word. The wants of the people estranged from the eternity of Your truth have produced them, but in Your Gospel; because the waters themselves have cast them forth, the bitter weakness of which was the cause of these things being sent forth in Your Word.

Now all things are beautiful that You have made, but behold, You are inexpressibly more beautiful, You who have made all things. If Adam had not fallen, the saltiness of the sea would never have flowed from him—the human race so deeply curious, so tumultuously swelling, and so restlessly moving. In that case, there would be no need for Your ministers to work in many waters, performing mysterious deeds and words in a corporeal and sensible manner. For in this way, these creeping and flying creatures now present themselves to my mind, symbolizing how people, being instructed, initiated, and brought under discipline by corporeal sacraments, would make no further progress unless their soul possessed a higher spiritual life, and unless, after the word of admission, it looked forward to perfection.

28. Now all things are fair that You have made, but behold, You are inexpressibly fairer who hast made all things; from whom had not Adam fallen, the saltness of the sea would never have flowed from him — the human race so profoundly curious, and boisterously swelling, and restlessly moving; and thus there would be no need that Your dispensers should work in many waters, in a corporeal and sensible manner, mysterious doings and sayings. For so these creeping and flying creatures now present themselves to my mind, whereby men, instructed, initiated, and subjected by corporeal sacraments, should not further profit, unless their soul had a higher spiritual life, and unless, after the word of admission, it looked forwards to perfection.

And so, through Your Word, it is not the depth of the sea but the earth separated from the bitterness of the waters that brings forth not the creeping and flying creature that has life, but the living soul itself. For now it no longer needs baptism, as the pagans do, and as it itself did when it was covered by the waters—for there is no other entrance into the kingdom of heaven, since You have established that this should be the entrance. Nor does it seek great miraculous works to produce faith, for it is not such that unless it sees signs and wonders it will not believe, now that the faithful earth is separated from the waters of the sea made bitter by unbelief. And tongues are for a sign, not to those who believe, but to those who do not believe. Nor does the earth, which You have established above the waters, need that flying kind which the waters brought forth at Your word. Send Your word into it through Your messengers. For we tell of their works, but it is You who work in them, so that through their work they may bring forth a living soul. The earth brings it forth because the earth is the reason they work these things in the soul, just as the sea was the reason they worked upon the moving creatures that have life and the birds that fly under the firmament of heaven, which the earth no longer needs. Yet it feeds on the fish taken out of the deep, upon that table which You have prepared in the presence of those who believe. For this is why He was raised from the deep: to feed the dry land. And the bird, though bred in the sea, is multiplied upon the earth. For in the first preaching of the Evangelists, human unbelief was the main cause, but the faithful are also exhorted and blessed by them in many ways day by day. But the living soul takes its origin from the earth, for it is of no benefit except to those already among the faithful to restrain themselves from love of this world, so that their soul may live for You—a soul that was dead while living in pleasures, in death-bringing pleasures, O Lord, for You are the life-giving delight of the pure heart.

29. And hereby, in Your Word, not the depth of the sea, but the earth parted from the bitterness of the waters, brings forth not the creeping and flying creature that has life, Genesis 1:20 but the living soul itself. Genesis 2:7 For now has it no longer need of baptism, as the heathen have, and as itself had when it was covered with the waters — for no other entrance is there into the kingdom of heaven, John 3:5 since You have appointed that this should be the entrance — nor does it seek great works of miracles by which to cause faith; for it is not such that, unless it shall have seen signs and wonders, it will not believe, John 4:48 when now the faithful earth is separated from the waters of the sea, rendered bitter by infidelity; and tongues are for a sign, not to those that believe, but to those that believe not. 1 Corinthians 14:22 Nor then does the earth, which You have founded above the waters, stand in need of that flying kind which at Your word the waters brought forth. Send Your word forth into it by Your messengers. For we relate their works, but it is Thou who work in them, that in it they may work out a living soul. The earth brings it forth, because the earth is the cause that they work these things in the soul; as the sea has been the cause that they wrought upon the moving creatures that have life, and the fowls that fly under the firmament of heaven, of which the earth has now no need; although it feeds on the fish which was taken out of the deep, upon that table which You have prepared in the presence of those that believe. For therefore He was raised from the deep, that He might feed the dry land; and the fowl, though bred in the sea, is yet multiplied upon the earth. For of the first preachings of the Evangelists, the infidelity of men was the prominent cause; but the faithful also are exhorted, and are manifoldly blessed by them day by day. But the living soul takes its origin from the earth, for it is not profitable, unless to those already among the faithful, to restrain themselves from the love of this world, that so their soul may live unto You, which was dead while living in pleasures, 1 Timothy 5:6 — in death-bearing pleasures, O Lord, for You are the vital delight of the pure heart.

Now, therefore, let Your ministers work upon the earth—not as in the waters of unbelief, by proclaiming and speaking through miracles, sacraments, and mystical words, in which ignorance, the mother of wonder, may focus on them in fear of those hidden signs. For such is the entrance into the faith for the sons of Adam who have forgotten You, while they hide themselves from Your face and become a dark abyss. But let Your ministers work as on dry land, separated from the whirlpools of the great deep, and let them be an example to the faithful by living before them and by stirring them to imitation. For in this way people hear not just to listen, but also to act. Seek the Lord, and your soul shall live, so that the earth may bring forth the living soul. Do not be conformed to this world. Restrain yourselves from it; the soul lives by avoiding those things by which it dies through pursuing them. Restrain yourselves from the unbridled wildness of pride, from the lazy pleasure of luxury, and from what falsely calls itself knowledge, so that wild beasts may be tamed, cattle subdued, and serpents made harmless. For these represent the motions of the mind in allegory—that is to say, the haughtiness of pride, the delight of lust, and the poison of curiosity are the motions of the dead soul. For the soul does not die in such a way that it loses all motion, but it dies by forsaking the fountain of life, and so is taken up by this passing world and conformed to it.

30. Now, therefore, let Your ministers work upon the earth — not as in the waters of infidelity, by announcing and speaking by miracles, and sacraments, and mystic words; in which ignorance, the mother of admiration, may be intent upon them, in fear of those hidden signs. For such is the entrance unto the faith for the sons of Adam forgetful of You, while they hide themselves from Your face, Genesis 3:8 and become a darksome deep. But let Your ministers work even as on the dry land, separated from the whirlpools of the great deep; and let them be an example unto the faithful, by living before them, and by stimulating them to imitation. For thus do men hear not with an intent to hear merely, but to act also. Seek the Lord, and your soul shall live, that the earth may bring forth the living soul. Be not conformed to this world. Romans 12:2 Restrain yourselves from it; the soul lives by avoiding those things which it dies by affecting. Restrain yourselves from the unbridled wildness of pride, from the indolent voluptuousness of luxury, and from the false name of knowledge; so that wild beasts may be tamed, the cattle subdued, and serpents harmless. For these are the motions of the mind in allegory; that is to say, the haughtiness of pride, the delight of lust, and the poison of curiosity are the motions of the dead soul; for the soul dies not so as to lose all motion, because it dies by forsaking the fountain of life, and so is received by this transitory world, and is conformed unto it.

But Your Word, O God, is the fountain of eternal life and does not pass away. Therefore this tendency to depart is restrained by Your word when it says to us, "Be not conformed unto this world," so that the earth may bring forth a living soul in the fountain of life—a soul restrained in Your Word through Your Evangelists, by imitating the followers of Your Christ. For this is "after his kind," because a person is stirred to imitate his friend. "Be," he says, "as I am, for I am as you are." Thus in the living soul there shall be good beasts, in gentleness of action. For You have commanded, saying, "Go on with your business in meekness, and you shall be beloved by all men," and so on; and good cattle, which neither if they eat will they have too much, nor if they do not eat will they lack anything; and good serpents, not destructive to do harm, but wise to take heed, and exploring only so much of this temporal nature as is sufficient that eternity may be clearly seen, being understood by the things that are. For these animals are subject to reason when, being kept in check from a deadly advance, they live and are good.

31. But Your Word, O God, is the fountain of eternal life, and passes not away; therefore this departure is kept in check by Your word when it is said to us, Be not conformed unto this world, Romans 12:2 so that the earth may bring forth a living soul in the fountain of life — a soul restrained in Your Word, by Your Evangelists, by imitating the followers of Your Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1 For this is after his kind; because a man is stimulated to emulation by his friend. Be, says he, as I am, for I am as you are. Galatians 4:12 Thus in the living soul shall there be good beasts, in gentleness of action. For You have commanded, saying, Go on with your business in meekness, and you shall be beloved by all men; Sirach 3:17 etc and good cattle, which neither if they eat, shall they over-abound, nor if they do not eat, have they any want; 1 Corinthians 8:8 and good serpents, not destructive to do hurt, but wise Matthew 10:16 to take heed; and exploring only so much of this temporal nature as is sufficient that eternity may be clearly seen, being understood by the things that are. Romans 1:20 For these animals are subservient to reason, when, being kept in check from a deadly advance, they live, and are good.

Look, O Lord our God, our Creator: when our desires have been pulled back from loving the world—through which we died by living badly—and we began to be a living soul by living well, Your word that You spoke through Your apostle comes true in us: "Be not conformed to this world." What You immediately added next follows: "But be transformed by the renewing of your mind"—not now according to your kind, as if following your neighbor who went before you, nor as if living by the example of a better man (for You did not say, "Let man be made after his kind," but "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness"), so that we may prove what Your will is. For this reason that dispenser of Yours—who begets children by the gospel—so that he might not always have them as babies, whom he would feed on milk and cherish as a nurse, says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God." Therefore You do not say, "Let man be made," but "Let us make man." Nor do You say, "after his kind," but "after our image and likeness." Because, being renewed in his mind and seeing and grasping Your truth, man does not need man as his guide to imitate his kind; but by Your direction he proves what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of Yours. And You teach him, now made capable, to perceive the Trinity of the Unity and the Unity of the Trinity. And therefore, though this is said in the plural, "Let us make man," it is then followed in the singular, "and God made man"; and though this is said in the plural, "after our likeness," it is followed in the singular, "after the image of God." Thus man is renewed in the knowledge of God, after the image of Him who created him; and being made spiritual, he judges all things—all things that are to be judged—yet he himself is judged by no man.

32. For behold, O Lord our God, our Creator, when our affections have been restrained from the love of the world, by which we died by living ill, and began to be a living soul by living well; and Your word which Thou spoke by Your apostle is made good in us, Be not conformed to this world; next also follows that which You presently subjoined, saying, But be transformed by the renewing of your mind, Romans 12:2 — not now after your kind, as if following your neighbour who went before you, nor as if living after the example of a better man (for You have not said, Let man be made after his kind, but, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness), Genesis 1:26 that we may prove what Your will is. For to this purpose said that dispenser of Yours — begetting children by the gospel, 1 Corinthians 4:15 — that he might not always have them babes, whom he would feed on milk, and cherish as a nurse; 1 Thessalonians 2:7 be transformed, says He, by the renewing of your mind, that he may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2 Therefore You say not, Let man be made, but, Let us make man. Nor sayest Thou, after his kind, but, after our image and likeness. Because, being renewed in his mind, and beholding and apprehending Your truth, man needs not man as his director Jeremiah 31:34 that he may imitate his kind; but by Your direction proves what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of Yours. And Thou teachest him, now made capable, to perceive the Trinity of the Unity, and the Unity of the Trinity. And therefore this being said in the plural, Let us make man, it is yet subjoined in the singular, and God made man; and this being said in the plural, after our likeness, is subjoined in the singular, after the image of God. Genesis 1:27 Thus is man renewed in the knowledge of God, after the image of Him that created him; Colossians 3:10 and being made spiritual, he judges all things — all things that are to be judged, — yet he himself is judged of no man. 1 Corinthians 2:15

The fact that the spiritual person judges all things corresponds to having dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, all cattle and wild beasts, all the earth, and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. He does this through the discernment of his mind, by which he perceives the things of the Spirit of God. Otherwise, when man is placed in honor but lacks understanding, he is compared to the brute beasts and becomes like them. Therefore, in Your Church, our God, according to Your grace which You have given to it—since we are Your workmanship created in good works—there are not only those who are spiritually placed in authority, but also those who are spiritually subject to those in authority over them. For in this way You have made man, male and female, in Your spiritual grace, where according to the sex of the body there is neither male nor female, because there is neither Jew nor Greek, neither bond nor free. Spiritual persons, therefore, whether those who are in authority or those who obey, judge spiritually. However, they do not judge that spiritual knowledge which shines in the firmament, for they ought not to judge such a sublime authority, nor should they judge Your Book itself, even if something in it is not clear to them. Instead, we submit our understanding to it and hold as certain that even what is hidden from our sight is spoken rightly and truly. For in this way, man, although now spiritual and renewed in the knowledge of God after His image who created him, ought to be a doer of the law, not a judge. Nor does he judge that distinction between spiritual and carnal men who are known to Your eyes, our God, but have not yet made themselves known to us by their works so that we may know them by their fruits. But You, Lord, already know them, and You divided and called them in secret before the firmament was made. Nor does the spiritual man judge the restless people of this world, for what business does he have judging those who are outside, not knowing which of them may afterward come into the sweetness of Your grace and which will continue in the perpetual bitterness of impiety?

33. But that he judges all things answers to his having dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowls of the air, and over all cattle and wild beasts, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth. For this he does by the discernment of his mind, whereby he perceives the things of the Spirit of God; 1 Corinthians 2:14 whereas, otherwise, man being placed in honour, had no understanding, and is compared unto the brute beasts, and has become like them. In Your Church, therefore, O our God, according to Your grace which You have accorded unto it, since we are Your workmanship created in good works, Ephesians 2:10 there are not only those who are spiritually set over, but those also who are spiritually subjected to those placed over them; for in this manner have You made man, male and female, Genesis 1:27 in Your grace spiritual, where, according to the sex of body, there is not male and female, because neither Jew nor Greek, nor bond nor free. Galatians 3:28 Spiritual persons, therefore, whether those that are set over, or those who obey, judge spiritually; not of that spiritual knowledge which shines in the firmament, for they ought not to judge as to an authority so sublime, nor does it behoove them to judge of Your Book itself, although there be something that is not clear therein; because we submit our understanding unto it, and esteem as certain that even that which is shut up from our sight is rightly and truly spoken. For thus man, although now spiritual and renewed in the knowledge of God after His image that created him, ought yet to be the doer of the law, not the judge. James 4:11 Neither does he judge of that distinction of spiritual and carnal men, who are known to Your eyes, O our God, and have not as yet made themselves manifest unto us by works, that by their fruits we may know them; Matthew 8:20 but Thou, O Lord, dost already know them, and You have divided and hast called them in secret, before the firmament was made. Nor does that man, though spiritual, judge the restless people of this world; for what has he to do to judge them that are without, 1 Corinthians 5:12 knowing not which of them may afterwards come into the sweetness of Your grace, and which continue in the perpetual bitterness of impiety?

The human being whom You made in Your own image did not receive authority over the lights of heaven, the hidden heaven itself, the day and night that You called into being before creating the heaven, or the gathering of waters called the sea. Instead, he received authority over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, all livestock, all the earth, and all creeping things that crawl on the earth. For he judges and approves what he finds to be right, but disapproves what he finds to be wrong—whether in the celebration of those sacraments through which those whom Your mercy seeks out in many waters are initiated, or in that Fish itself which, raised from the deep, the devout earth feeds upon, or in the signs and spoken words that are subject to the authority of Your Book. These signs burst forth and sound from the mouth like birds flying beneath the firmament through interpreting, explaining, discussing, debating, blessing, and calling upon You, so that the people may respond, "Amen." All these words are spoken aloud because of the deep darkness of this world and the blindness of the flesh, which prevents thoughts from being seen directly, making it necessary to speak into people's ears. Thus, although flying birds multiply upon the earth, they still have their origin in the waters. The spiritual person also judges by approving what is right and condemning what is wrong in the works and conduct of the faithful—in their charitable giving, as if the earth were bringing forth fruit; in the living soul made alive through gentled emotions, in chastity, in fasting, and in holy thinking; and in those things perceived through the bodily senses. For it is now said that he should judge concerning those things over which he also has the power to correct.

34. Man, therefore, whom You have made after Your own image, received not dominion over the lights of heaven, nor over the hidden heaven itself, nor over the day and the night, which You called before the foundation of the heaven, nor over the gathering together of the waters, which is the sea; but he received dominion over the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the air, and over all cattle, and over all the earth, and over all creeping things which creep upon the earth. For He judges and approves what He finds right, but disapproves what He finds amiss, whether in the celebration of those sacraments by which are initiated those whom Your mercy searches out in many waters; or in that in which the Fish Itself is exhibited, which, being raised from the deep, the devout earth feeds upon; or in the signs and expressions of words, subject to the authority of Your Book — such signs as burst forth and sound from the mouth, as it were flying under the firmament, by interpreting, expounding, discoursing, disputing, blessing, calling upon You, so that the people may answer, Amen. The vocal pronunciation of all which words is caused by the deep of this world, and the blindness of the flesh, by which thoughts cannot be seen, so that it is necessary to speak aloud in the ears; thus, although flying fowls be multiplied upon the earth, yet they derive their beginning from the waters. The spiritual man judges also by approving what is right and reproving what he finds amiss in the works and morals of the faithful, in their alms, as if in the earth bringing forth fruit; and he judges of the living soul, rendered living by softened affections, in chastity, in fastings, in pious thoughts; and of those things which are perceived through the senses of the body. For it is now said, that he should judge concerning those things in which he has also the power of correction.

But what is this, and what kind of mystery is it? Look, You bless men, O Lord, so that they may be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. In this, are You not making a sign to us so that we may understand something? Why have You not also blessed the light, which You called day, or the firmament of heaven, or the lights, or the stars, or the earth, or the sea? I might say, O our God, who created us after Your Image—I might say that You wanted to give this gift of blessing especially to man—except that You blessed the fishes and the whales in the same way, so that they should be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters of the sea, and that the birds should be multiplied upon the earth. Likewise, I might say that this blessing belonged properly to such creatures as reproduce from their own kind, if I had found it given to the shrubs, the fruit trees, and the beasts of the earth. But it is not said to the herbs, or trees, or beasts, or serpents, "Be fruitful and multiply," even though all these, just like fishes, birds, and men, do increase and preserve their kind through reproduction.

35. But what is this, and what kind of mystery is it? Behold, Thou blessest men, O Lord, that they may be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth; Genesis 1:28 in this dost Thou not make a sign unto us that we may understand something? Why have You not also blessed the light, which You called day, nor the firmament of heaven, nor the lights, nor the stars, nor the earth, nor the sea? I might say, O our God, that Thou, who hast created us after Your Image — I might say, that You have willed to bestow this gift of blessing especially upon man, had Thou not in like manner blessed the fishes and the whales, that they should be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the waters of the sea, and that the fowls should be multiplied upon the earth. Likewise might I say, that this blessing belonged properly unto such creatures as are propagated from their own kind, if I had found it in the shrubs, and the fruit trees, and beasts of the earth. But now is it not said either unto the herbs, or trees, or beasts, or serpents, Be fruitful and multiply; since all these also, as well as fishes, and fowls, and men, do by propagation increase and preserve their kind.

What should I say then, Truth, my Light—that this was spoken carelessly and without purpose? No, Father of piety, far from it. May a servant of your word never say such a thing. But if I do not understand what you mean by that phrase, let those better than I—that is, those more intelligent than I am—use it better, according to how much you, my God, have given each person to understand. But let my confession also be pleasing in your sight, in which I confess to you that I believe, Lord, you have not spoken this in vain. Nor will I keep silent about what this passage suggests to me. For it is true, and I see nothing to prevent me from understanding the figurative expressions in your books this way. For I know that something can be signified in many ways through bodily expression yet understood in one way by the mind, and that something can be understood in many ways by the mind yet signified in one way through bodily expression. Consider how the single love of God and neighbor is expressed bodily through what manifold sacraments and countless languages, and within each language through how many countless modes of speaking. This is how the young of the waters increase and multiply. Notice again, whoever you are reading this: see how Scripture delivers and the voice pronounces in only one way, "In the beginning God created heaven and earth," yet it is understood in many ways—not through any deception of error, but through various kinds of true meanings. This is how the offspring of men are fruitful and multiply.

36. What, then, shall I say, O Thou Truth, my Light — that it was idly and vainly said? Not so, O Father of piety; far be it from a minister of Your word to say this. But if I understand not what Thou meanest by that phrase, let my betters — that is, those more intelligent than I– use it better, in proportion as Thou, O my God, hast given to each to understand. But let my confession be also pleasing before Your eyes, in which I confess to You that I believe, O Lord, that You have not thus spoken in vain; nor will I be silent as to what this lesson suggests to me. For it is true, nor do I see what should prevent me from thus understanding the figurative sayings of Your books. For I know a thing may be manifoldly signified by bodily expression which is understood in one manner by the mind; and that that may be manifoldly understood in the mind which is in one manner signified by bodily expression. Behold, the single love of God and of our neighbour, by what manifold sacraments and innumerable languages, and in each several language in how innumerable modes of speaking, it is bodily expressed. Thus do the young of the waters increase and multiply. Observe again, whosoever you are who readest; behold what Scripture delivers, and the voice pronounces in one only way, In the beginning God created heaven and earth; is it not manifoldly understood, not by any deceit of error, but by various kinds of true senses? Thus are the offspring of men fruitful and do multiply.

If we think about the natures of things literally rather than allegorically, then the phrase "be fruitful and multiply" applies to all things that are born from seed. But if we treat those words as figurative (which I believe is what Scripture intends, since it doesn't pointlessly give this blessing only to sea creatures and humans), then we find that multiplication belongs to spiritual and physical creatures alike, as in heaven and on earth; to righteous and unrighteous souls, as in light and darkness; to holy authors through whom the law has been given to us, as in the firmament firmly placed between the waters; to communities of people still filled with bitterness, as in the sea; to the longing of holy souls, as in the dry land; to works of mercy in this present life, as in seed-bearing plants and fruit-bearing trees; to spiritual gifts shining forth for building up the church, as in the lights of heaven; and to emotions shaped by self-control, as in the living soul. In all these cases we encounter multitudes, abundance, and increase. But we only discover what can be fruitful and multiply in such a way that one thing may be expressed in many ways and one expression understood in many ways through signs expressed physically and things conceived mentally. We understand physically pronounced signs as the generations of the waters, necessarily caused by physical depth; but we understand mentally conceived things as human generations, because of the fruitfulness of reason. Therefore we believe that to each kind of these You, O Lord, have said "Be fruitful and multiply." For in this blessing I recognize that You have granted us both the power and ability to express in many ways what we understand in only one way, and to understand in many ways what we read as obscurely delivered in only one way. Thus the waters of the sea are filled, moved only by various meanings; thus the earth too is filled with human offspring, whose dryness appears in its desire, and reason rules over it.

37. If, therefore, we conceive of the natures of things, not allegorically, but properly, then does the phrase, be fruitful and multiply, correspond to all things which are begotten of seed. But if we treat those words as taken figuratively (the which I rather suppose the Scripture intended, which does not, verily, superfluously attribute this benediction to the offspring of marine animals and man only), then do we find that multitude belongs also to creatures both spiritual and corporeal, as in heaven and in earth; and to souls both righteous and unrighteous, as in light and darkness; and to holy authors, through whom the law has been furnished unto us, as in the firmament which has been firmly placed between waters and waters; and to the society of people yet endued with bitterness, as in the sea; and to the desire of holy souls, as in the dry land; and to works of mercy pertaining to this present life, as in the seed-bearing herbs and fruit-bearing trees; and to spiritual gifts shining forth for edification, as in the lights of heaven; and to affections formed unto temperance, as in the living soul. In all these cases we meet with multitudes, abundance, and increase; but what shall thus be fruitful and multiply, that one thing may be expressed in many ways, and one expression understood in many ways, we discover not, unless in signs corporeally expressed, and in things mentally conceived. We understand the signs corporeally pronounced as the generations of the waters, necessarily occasioned by carnal depth; but things mentally conceived we understand as human generations, on account of the fruitfulness of reason. And therefore do we believe that to each kind of these it has been said by You, O Lord, Be fruitful and multiply. For in this blessing I acknowledge that power and faculty has been granted unto us, by You, both to express in many ways what we understand but in one, and to understand in many ways what we read as obscurely delivered but in one. Thus are the waters of the sea replenished, which are not moved but by various significations; thus even with the human offspring is the earth also replenished, the dryness whereof appears in its desire, and reason rules over it.

I would also say, O Lord my God, what the following Scripture brings to my mind; yes, I will say it without fear. For I will speak the truth, with You inspiring me as to what You want me to say from these words. I believe that I can speak the truth only through Your inspiration, since You are the Truth, but every person is a liar. Therefore whoever speaks a lie speaks from his own nature; so in order to speak the truth, I will speak from what is Yours. Look, You have given us for food every seed-bearing plant that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. And not only to us, but to all the birds of the air, and to the animals of the earth, and to all crawling things; but to the fish and great sea creatures, You have not given these things. Now we were saying that through these fruits of the earth, works of mercy are signified and represented in an allegory, works which are provided for the needs of this life from the fruitful earth. Such an earth was the godly Onesiphorus, to whose household You gave mercy, because he often refreshed Your Paul and was not ashamed of his chain. The brothers also did this, and they bore such fruit, those who from Macedonia supplied what Paul was lacking. But how he grieves for certain trees that did not give him the fruit owed to him, when he says, At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me: I pray God that it may not be counted against them. For these fruits are owed to those who minister spiritual teaching through their understanding of the divine mysteries; and they are owed to them as human beings. They are also owed to them as to the living soul, offering itself as an example in all self-restraint; and owed to them likewise as flying creatures, for their blessings which are multiplied upon the earth, since their sound went out into all lands.

38. I would also say, O Lord my God, what the following Scripture reminds me of; yea, I will say it without fear. For I will speak the truth, Thou inspiring me as to what You will that I should say out of these words. For by none other than Your inspiration do I believe that I can speak the truth, since You are the Truth, but every man a liar. And therefore he that speaks a lie, he speaks of his own; John 8:44 therefore that I may speak the truth, I will speak of Yours. Behold, You have given unto us for food every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed. Genesis 1:29 Nor to us only, but to all the fowls of the air, and to the beasts of the earth, and to all creeping things; but unto the fishes, and great whales, You have not given these things. Now we were saying, that by these fruits of the earth works of mercy were signified and figured in an allegory, the which are provided for the necessities of this life out of the fruitful earth. Such an earth was the godly Onesiphorus, unto whose house You gave mercy, because he frequently refreshed Your Paul, and was not ashamed of his chain. 2 Timothy 1:16 This did also the brethren, and such fruit did they bear, who out of Macedonia supplied what was wanting unto him. 2 Corinthians 11:9 But how does he grieve for certain trees, which did not afford him the fruit due unto him, when he says, At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge. 2 Timothy 4:16 For these fruits are due to those who minister spiritual doctrine, through their understanding of the divine mysteries; and they are due to them as men. They are due to them, too, as to the living soul, supplying itself as an example in all continency; and due unto them likewise as flying creatures, for their blessings which are multiplied upon the earth, since their sound went out into all lands.

Those who are delighted with these fruits are fed by them, but this does not include those whose god is their belly. For in those who yield these gifts, what matters is not the things given themselves but the spirit in which they give them. Therefore, I clearly see why someone who serves God and not his own belly may rejoice, and I see it and rejoice with him exceedingly. For he has received from the Philippians those things they had sent through Epaphroditus, but I still see why he rejoiced. He feeds on what brings him joy. Speaking truthfully, he says, "I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again, wherein you were also careful, but it had become wearisome to you." These Philippians, through prolonged weariness, had become weakened and, as it were, dried up regarding producing this fruit of good work. He rejoices for them because they flourished again, not for himself because they supplied his needs. Therefore he adds, "Not that I speak in respect of want, for I have learned in whatever state I am to be content with it. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound; everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

39. But they who are delighted with them are fed by those fruits; nor are they delighted with them whose god is their belly. Philippians 3:19 For neither in those that yield them are the things given the fruit, but in what spirit they give them. Therefore he who serves God and not his own belly, Romans 16:18 I plainly see why he may rejoice; I see it, and I rejoice with him exceedingly. For he has received from the Philippians those things which they had sent from Epaphroditus; Philippians 4:18 but yet I see why he rejoiced. For whereat he rejoices, upon that he feeds; for speaking in truth, I rejoiced, says he, in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me has flourished again, wherein you were also careful, but it had become wearisome unto you. These Philippians, then, by protracted wearisomeness, had become enfeebled, and as it were dried up, as to bringing forth this fruit of a good work; and he rejoices for them, because they flourished again, not for himself, because they ministered to his wants. Therefore, adds he, not that I speak in respect of want, for I have learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.

In all these things, what makes you rejoice, great Paul? What brings you joy? What nourishes you, O man renewed in the knowledge of God, made in the image of Him who created you, you living soul of such great self-control, and you tongue like flying birds, speaking mysteries—for to such creatures this food is given—what is it that nourishes you? Joy. Let us hear what comes next. Nevertheless, he says, you have done well to share in my affliction. This is what makes him rejoice, this is what nourishes him: that they have done well, not that his hardship was eased. This is the man who says to you, You have enlarged me when I was in distress, because he knew how both to abound and to suffer need, in You who strengthen him. For, he says, you Philippians know also that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me concerning giving and receiving, except you alone. For even in Thessalonica you sent once and again to my need. He now rejoices at these good works, that they have returned to them, and he is glad that they flourished again, like when a fertile field recovers its greenness.

40. Whereat, then, do you rejoice in all things, O great Paul? Whereat do you rejoice? Whereon do you feed, O man, renewed in the knowledge of God, after the image of Him that created you, you living soul of so great continency, and you tongue like flying fowls, speaking mysteries — for to such creatures is this food due — what is that which feeds you? Joy. Let us hear what follows. Notwithstanding, says he, you have well done that you did communicate with My affliction. Philippians 4:14 Hereat does he rejoice, hereon does he feed; because they have well done, not because his strait was relieved, who says unto you, You have enlarged me when I was in distress; because he knew both to abound and to suffer need, in You Who strengthenest him. For, says he, you Philippians know also that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no Church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but you only. For even in Thessalonica you sent once and again unto my necessity. Philippians 4:15-16 Unto these good works he now rejoices that they have returned; and is made glad that they flourished again, as when a fruitful field recovers its greenness.

Was it because of his own needs that Paul said, "You have sent to my need"? Did he rejoice because of that? Certainly not. But how do we know this? Because he himself continues, "Not because I desire a gift, but I desire fruit." From You, O my God, I have learned to distinguish between a gift and fruit. A gift is the thing itself which someone gives when providing these necessities, such as money, food, drink, clothing, shelter, or help. But the fruit is the good and right will of the giver. For the good Master does not merely say, "He that receives a prophet," but adds, "in the name of a prophet." Nor does He merely say, "He that receives a righteous man," but adds, "in the name of a righteous man." Thus, truly, the former shall receive the reward of a prophet, the latter that of a righteous man. Nor does He merely say, "Whosoever shall give to drink to one of these little ones a cup of cold water," but adds, "in the name of a disciple," and so concludes, "Verily I say to you, he shall in no wise lose his reward." The gift is to receive a prophet, to receive a righteous man, to hand a cup of cold water to a disciple. But the fruit is to do this in the name of a prophet, in the name of a righteous man, in the name of a disciple. Elijah was fed with fruit by the widow, who knew that she fed a man of God, and for this reason fed him. But by the raven he was fed with a gift. Nor was the inner man of Elijah fed, but only the outer, which might also have perished from lack of such food.

41. Was it on account of his own necessities that he said, You have sent unto my necessity? Rejoices he for that? Verily not for that. But whence know we this? Because he himself continues, Not because I desire a gift, but I desire fruit. From You, O my God, have I learned to distinguish between a gift and fruit. A gift is the thing itself which he gives who bestows these necessaries, as money, food, drink, clothing, shelter, aid; but the fruit is the good and right will of the giver. For the good Master says not only, He that receives a prophet, but adds, in the name of a prophet. Nor says He only, He that receives a righteous man, but adds, in the name of a righteous man. So, verily, the former shall receive the reward of a prophet, the latter that of a righteous man. Nor says He only, Whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water, but adds, in the name of a disciple and so concludes, Verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward. Matthew 10:41-42 The gift is to receive a prophet, to receive a righteous man, to hand a cup of cold water to a disciple; but the fruit is to do this in the name of a prophet, in the name of a righteous man, in the name of a disciple. With fruit was Elijah fed by the widow, who knew that she fed a man of God, and on this account fed him; but by the raven was he fed with a gift. Nor was the inner man of Elijah fed, but the outer only, which might also from want of such food have perished.

Therefore I will speak before You, O Lord, what is true: when ignorant people and unbelievers (for whose conversion and instruction the sacraments of initiation and great works of miracles are necessary, which we believe are signified by the names of fishes and whales) take it upon themselves to provide physical refreshment for Your servants, or to help them in some other way for this present life, even though they do not understand why this should be done or what purpose it serves; and neither group truly feeds the other. For the ignorant ones do not perform these acts with a holy and right intent, nor do the believers rejoice in the gifts from those who do not yet see the fruit. For the mind is fed by that in which it finds joy. And therefore, fishes and whales are not fed on the kind of food that the earth produces only after it has been separated and divided from the bitterness of the sea waters.

42. Therefore will I speak before You, O Lord, what is true, when ignorant men and infidels (for the initiating and gaining of whom the sacraments of initiation and great works of miracles are necessary, which we believe to be signified under the name of fishes and whales) undertake that Your servants should be bodily refreshed, or should be otherwise succoured for this present life, although they may be ignorant wherefore this is to be done, and to what end; neither do the former feed the latter, nor the latter the former; for neither do the one perform these things through a holy and right intent, nor do the other rejoice in the gifts of those who behold not as yet the fruit. For on that is the mind fed wherein it is gladdened. And, therefore, fishes and whales are not fed on such food as the earth brings not forth until it had been separated and divided from the bitterness of the waters of the sea.

And You, O God, saw everything that You had made, and behold it was very good. So we also see the same, and behold all are very good. In each particular kind of Your works, when You had said, "Let them be made," and they were made, You saw that it was good. Seven times I have counted it written that You saw that what You made was good; and this is the eighth time, that You saw all things that You had made, and behold they are not only good, but also very good, as they are now taken together. For individually they were only good, but all taken together they were both good and very good. All beautiful bodies also express this principle: a body that consists of members, all of which are beautiful, is far more beautiful than the individual members are by themselves—members through whose well-ordered union the whole is completed, though these members are also individually beautiful.

43. And You, O God, saw everything that You had made, and behold it was very good. Genesis 1:31 So we also see the same, and behold all are very good. In each particular kind of Your works, when You had said, Let them be made, and they were made, Thou saw that it was good. Seven times have I counted it written that Thou saw that that which You made was good; and this is the eighth, that Thou saw all things that You had made, and behold they are not only good, but also very good, as being now taken together. For individually they were only good, but all taken together they were both good and very good. All beautiful bodies also express this; for a body which consists of members, all of which are beautiful, is by far more beautiful than the several members individually are by whose well-ordered union the whole is completed, though these members also be severally beautiful.

I carefully examined the text to see whether you saw that your works were good seven or eight times, when they pleased you; but in your seeing I found no times by which I might understand that you saw so often what you made. And I said, O Lord, is not your Scripture true, since you are true, and being Truth have set it forth? Why, then, do you say to me that in your seeing there are no times, while this Scripture of yours tells me that each day you saw what you made to be good; and when I counted them I found how often? To these things you reply to me, for you are my God, and with a strong voice you tell your servant in his inner ear, breaking through my deafness, and crying, O man, what my Scripture says, I say; and yet it speaks in time; but time has no reference to my Word, because my Word exists in equal eternity with myself. Thus those things which you see through my Spirit, I see, just as those things which you speak through my Spirit, I speak. And so when you see those things in time, I do not see them in time; as when you speak them in time, I do not speak them not in time.

44. And I looked attentively to find whether seven or eight times Thou saw that Your works were good, when they were pleasing unto You; but in Your seeing I found no times, by which I might understand that you saw so often what You made. And I said, O Lord,! Is not this Your Scripture true, since You are true, and being Truth hast set it forth? Why, then, dost Thou say unto me that in your seeing there are no times, while this Your Scripture tells me that what You made each day, Thou saw to be good; and when I counted them I found how often? Unto these things Thou repliest unto me, for You are my God, and with strong voice tellest unto Your servant in his inner ear, bursting through my deafness, and crying, O man, that which My Scripture says, I say; and yet does that speak in time; but time has no reference to My Word, because My Word exists in equal eternity with Myself. Thus those things which you see through My Spirit, I see, just as those things which you speak through My Spirit, I speak. And so when you see those things in time, I see them not in time; as when you speak them in time, I speak them not in time.

And I heard, O Lord my God, and drank up a drop of sweetness from Your truth, and understood that there are certain people who are displeased with Your works. They say that You made many of them because You were compelled by necessity—such as the structure of the heavens and the movements of the stars. They claim that You did not make them from what was Yours, but that these things were created elsewhere and from other sources. They say You brought them together, joined them, and wove them together when You raised up the walls of the universe from Your conquered enemies, so that they, bound down by this structure, would not be able to rebel against You a second time. But regarding other things, they say You neither made them nor joined them together—such as all flesh, all very tiny creatures, and whatever is rooted in the earth. Instead, they claim that a mind hostile to You and another physis not created by You, and in every way contrary to You, begot and formed these things in the lower regions of the world. Those who speak this way are foolish, since they do not see Your works through Your Spirit, nor do they recognize You in them.

45. And I heard, O Lord my God, and drank up a drop of sweetness from Your truth, and understood that there are certain men to whom Your works are displeasing, who say that many of them You made being compelled by necessity;– such as the fabric of the heavens and the courses of the stars, and that You made them not of what was Yours, but, that they were elsewhere and from other sources created; that You might bring together and compact and interweave, when from Your conquered enemies You raised up the walls of the universe, that they, bound down by this structure, might not be able a second time to rebel against You. But, as to other things, they say You neither made them nor compacted them — such as all flesh and all very minute creatures, and whatsoever holds the earth by its roots; but that a mind hostile unto You and another nature not created by You, and in everywise contrary unto You, did, in these lower places of the world, beget and frame these things. Infatuated are they who speak thus, since they see not Your works through Your Spirit, nor recognise You in them.

When people see these things through Your Spirit, You are the one seeing in them. Therefore, when they see that these things are good, You see that they are good. Whatever things please them for Your sake, You are pleased in them. The things that please us through Your Spirit actually please You in us. "For what man knows the things of a man, save the spirit of a man which is in him? Even so the things of God knows no man, but the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is of God, that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God" (1 Corinthians 2:12). This reminds me to ask: If "the things of God knows no man, but the Spirit of God," then how do we also know what things are given to us by God? The answer is this: The things we know by His Spirit—even these "knows no man, but the Spirit of God." Just as it is correctly said to those who speak by the Spirit of God, "It is not you that speak" (Matthew 10:20), it is correctly said to those who know by the Spirit of God, "It is not you that know." In the same way, it is correctly said to those who see by the Spirit of God, "It is not you that see." So whatever they see by the Spirit of God to be good—it is not they but God who sees that it is good. It is one thing for someone to wrongly think that what is good is actually bad, as those previously mentioned do. It is another thing for someone to see that what is good is good—as many people find Your creatures pleasing because they are good, yet You are not pleased in them when they want to enjoy the creatures rather than enjoy You. It is yet another thing when someone sees that a thing is good and God sees in that person that it is good—so that God may truly be loved in what He made. He cannot be loved except through the Holy Spirit He has given, "because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us" (Romans 5:5). Through the Holy Spirit we see that whatever exists to any degree is good, because it comes from Him who does not exist to any degree but simply Is what He Is.

46. But as for those who through Your Spirit see these things, You see in them. When therefore, they see that these things are good, You see that they are good; and whatsoever things for Your sake are pleasing, You are pleased in them; and those things which through Your Spirit are pleasing unto us, are pleasing unto You in us. For what man knows the things of a man, save the spirit of a man which is in him? Even so the things of God knows no man, but the Spirit of God. Now we, says he, have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is of God, that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. 1 Corinthians 2:12 And I am reminded to say, Truly, 'the things of God knows no man, but the Spirit of God;' how, then, do we also know 'what things are given us by God?'? It is answered unto me, Because the things which we know by His Spirit, even these ' knows no man, but the Spirit of God.' For, as it is rightly said to those who were to speak by the Spirit of God, 'It is not you that speak,' Matthew 10:20 so is it rightly said to them who know by the Spirit of God, 'It is not you that know.' None the less, then, is it rightly said to those that see by the Spirit of God, 'It is not you that see;' so whatever they see by the Spirit of God that it is good, it is not they, but God who 'sees that it is good.' It is one thing, then, for a man to suppose that to be bad which is good, as the fore-named do; another, that what is good a man should see to be good (as Your creatures are pleasing unto many, because they are good, whom, however, Thou pleasest not in them when they wish to enjoy them rather than enjoy You); and another, that when a man sees a thing to be good, God should in him see that it is good — that in truth He may be loved in that which He made, who cannot be loved unless by the Holy Ghost, which He has given. Because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us; Romans 5:5 by whom we see that whatsoever in any degree is, is good. Because it is from Him who Is not in any degree, but He Is that He Is.

Thank you, Lord. We see the heaven and the earth—whether the physical parts, upper and lower, or the spiritual and physical creation. In the beauty of these parts that make up the entire mass of the world or the whole creation, we see light made and separated from darkness. We see the firmament of heaven—whether this means the primary body of the world between the spiritual waters above and the physical waters below, or (since this too is called heaven) the expanse of air through which the birds of heaven fly, between the waters that are carried above as vapor and fall as dew on clear nights, and the waters that flow heavily along the earth. We see the waters gathered together in the plains of the sea, and the dry land both empty and formed so as to be visible and solid, as well as the material of plants and trees. We see the lights shining from above—the sun to serve the day, the moon and stars to light the night, and through all these, time is marked and measured. We see everywhere a watery element teeming with fish, beasts, and birds, because the thickness of the air that supports the flight of birds is increased by the evaporation of the waters. We see the face of the earth furnished with land animals and with man, created in your image and likeness. In that very image and likeness of you—that is, the power of reason and understanding—he was placed over all non-rational creatures. And just as in his soul there is one power that rules by directing and another made subject to obey, so also woman was physically made for man. In the mind of her rational understanding she has the same nature, but in the sex of her body she is likewise subject to the sex of her husband, just as the appetite for action is subject to the mind's reason in order to learn the skill of acting rightly. We see these things, and they are each good, and all together very good.

47. Thanks to You, O Lord. We behold the heaven and the earth, whether the corporeal part, superior and inferior, or the spiritual and corporeal creature; and in the embellishment of these parts, whereof the universal mass of the world or the universal creation consists, we see light made, and divided from the darkness. We see the firmament of heaven, whether the primary body of the world between the spiritual upper waters and the corporeal lower waters, or — because this also is called heaven — this expanse of air, through which wander the fowls of heaven, between the waters which are in vapours borne above them, and which in clear nights drop down in dew, and those which being heavy flow along the earth. We behold the waters gathered together through the plains of the sea; and the dry land both void and formed, so as to be visible and compact, and the matter of herbs and trees. We behold the lights shining from above — the sun to serve the day, the moon and the stars to cheer the night; and that by all these, times should be marked and noted. We behold on every side a humid element, fruitful with fishes, beasts, and birds; because the density of the air, which bears up the flights of birds, is increased by the exhalation of the waters. We behold the face of the earth furnished with terrestrial creatures, and man, created after Your image and likeness, in that very image and likeness of You (that is, the power of reason and understanding) on account of which he was set over all irrational creatures. And as in his soul there is one power which rules by directing, another made subject that it might obey, so also for the man was corporeally made a woman, who, in the mind of her rational understanding should also have a like nature, in the sex, however, of her body should be in like manner subject to the sex of her husband, as the appetite of action is subjected by reason of the mind, to conceive the skill of acting rightly. These things we behold, and they are severally good, and all very good.

Let Your works praise You so that we may love You, and let us love You so that Your works may praise You—works that have a beginning and end in time, rising and setting, growth and decay, form and privation. They therefore have their successions of morning and evening, partly hidden and partly visible, for they were made from nothing by You, not from You, nor from any matter that was not Yours or that existed before. Rather, they were made from concreted matter (that is, matter created by You at the same time), because without any interval of time You formed its formlessness. For since the matter of heaven and earth is one thing, and the form of heaven and earth is another, You made the matter indeed from almost nothing, but the form of the world You formed from formless matter. However, both were made at the same time, so that the form followed the matter with no delay.

48. Let Your works praise You, that we may love You; and let us love You, that Your works may praise You, the which have beginning and end from time — rising and setting, growth and decay, form and privation. They have therefore their successions of morning and evening, partly hidden, partly apparent; for they were made from nothing by You, not of You, nor of any matter not Yours, or which was created before, but of concreted matter (that is, matter at the same time created by You), because without any interval of time You formed its formlessness. For since the matter of heaven and earth is one thing, and the form of heaven and earth another, You have made the matter indeed of almost nothing, but the form of the world You have formed of formless matter; both, however, at the same time, so that the form should follow the matter with no interval of delay.

We have also examined what you willed to be foreshadowed, whether by the creation itself or by the description of things in such an order. And we have seen that individual things are good, and all things together are very good, in your Word, in your Only-Begotten, both heaven and earth, the Head and the body of the Church, in your predestination before all times, without morning and evening. But when you began to carry out in time the things predestined, so that you might reveal things hidden and set right our disorders (for our sins were upon us, and we had sunk into deep darkness away from you, and your good Spirit was borne over us to help us at the right time), you both justified the ungodly and separated them from the wicked. You established the authority of your Book between those above, who would be obedient to you, and those below, who would be subject to them. You gathered the society of unbelievers into one conspiracy, so that the zeal of the faithful might be revealed and they might bring forth works of mercy to you, even distributing earthly riches to the poor in order to obtain heavenly ones. And after this you kindled certain lights in the firmament, your holy ones, possessing the word of life and shining with an eminent authority conferred by spiritual gifts. And then again, for the instruction of the unbelieving Gentiles, you produced from bodily matter the sacraments and visible miracles, and sounds of words according to the firmament of your Book, by which the faithful should be blessed. Next you formed the living soul of the faithful through affections ordered by the strength of continency. And afterwards, you renewed the mind subjected to you alone and needing to imitate no human authority, after your image and likeness, and you subjected its rational action to the excellence of the understanding, as the woman to the man. And for all your ministries necessary for perfecting the faithful in this life, you willed that good things, fruitful in the future time, should be given by these same faithful for their temporal uses. We see all these things, and they are very good, because you see them in us—you who have given us your Spirit, by which we might see them and in them love you.

49. We have also examined what You willed to be shadowed forth, whether by the creation, or the description of things in such an order. And we have seen that things severally are good, and all things very good, Genesis 1:31 in Your Word, in Your Only-Begotten, both heaven and earth, the Head and the body of the Church, in Your predestination before all times, without morning and evening. But when Thou began to execute in time the things predestinated, that You might make manifest things hidden, and adjust our disorders (for our sins were over us, and we had sunk into profound darkness away from you, and Your good Spirit was borne over us to help us in due season), Thou both justified the ungodly, Romans 4:5 and divided them from the wicked; and made firm the authority of Your Book between those above, who would be docile unto You, and those under, who would be subject unto them; and You collected the society of unbelievers into one conspiracy, in order that the zeal of the faithful might appear, and that they might bring forth works of mercy unto You, even distributing unto the poor earthly riches, to obtain heavenly. And after this You kindled certain lights in the firmament, Your holy ones, having the word of life, and shining with an eminent authority preferred by spiritual gifts; and then again, for the instruction of the unbelieving Gentiles, did You out of corporeal matter produce the sacraments and visible miracles, and sounds of words according to the firmament of Your Book, by which the faithful should be blessed. Next You formed the living soul of the faithful, through affections ordered by the vigour of continency; and afterwards, the mind subjected to You alone, and needing to imitate no human authority, You renewed after Your image and likeness; and subjected its rational action to the excellency of the understanding, as the woman to the man; and to all Your ministries, necessary for the perfecting of the faithful in this life, Thou willed that, for their temporal uses, good things, fruitful in the future time, should be given by the same faithful. We behold all these things, and they are very good, because Thou dost see them in us — You who has given unto us Your Spirit, whereby we might see them, and in them love You.

O Lord God, grant us Your peace, for You have provided us with all things—the peace of rest, the peace of the Sabbath, which has no evening. For all this most beautiful order of very good things will pass away once their appointed courses are finished, because in them there was morning and evening.

50. O Lord God, grant Your peace unto us, for You have supplied us with all things — the peace of rest, the peace of the Sabbath, which has no evening. For all this most beautiful order of things, very good (all their courses being finished), is to pass away, for in them there was morning and evening.

But the seventh day has no evening and no setting, because You have sanctified it for everlasting duration so that what You did after Your works, which were very good, resting on the seventh day, although You made them while in unbroken rest, the voice of Your Book may speak to us in advance, so that we also, after our works (which are therefore very good because You have given them to us), may rest in You also in the Sabbath of eternal life.

51. But the seventh day is without any evening, nor has it any setting, because You have sanctified it to an everlasting continuance that that which Thou did after Your works, which were very good, resting on the seventh day, although in unbroken rest You made them that the voice of Your Book may speak beforehand unto us, that we also after our works (therefore very good, because You have given them unto us) may repose in You also in the Sabbath of eternal life.

For even then You will rest in us just as You now work in us, and so that will be Your rest through us, just as these are Your works through us. But You, O Lord, always work and are always at rest. You do not see in time, nor do You move in time, nor do You rest in time; and yet You make the things seen in time, and the times themselves, and the rest that comes from time.

52. For even then shall You so rest in us, as now You work in us; and thus shall that be Your rest through us, as these are Your works through us. But You, O Lord, always work, and are always at rest. Nor do You see in time, nor do You move in time, nor do You in time; and yet You make the scenes of time, and the times themselves, and the rest which results from time.

We see the things You made because they exist, but they exist because You see them. We see from the outside that they are, and from the inside that they are good, but You saw them already made in the place where You saw them yet to be made. We were moved at one time to do good after our hearts had conceived from Your Spirit, but before that, when we abandoned You, we were moved to do evil. But You, the one Good God, have never stopped doing good. We also have certain good works that are Your gift, but they are not eternal. After these works we hope to rest in Your great hallowing. But You, being the Good and needing no good, are always at rest, because You Yourself are Your rest. What person will teach another person to understand this? Or what angel will teach an angel? Or what angel will teach a person? Let it be asked of You, sought in You, knocked for at You—in this way, yes in this way, it will be received, it will be found, it will be opened. Amen.

53. We therefore see those things which You made, because they are; but they are because You see them. And we see without that they are, and within that they are good, but You saw them there, when made, where You saw them to be made. And we were at another time moved to do well, after our hearts had conceived of Your Spirit; but in the former time, forsaking You, we were moved to do evil; but You, the One, the Good God, hast never ceased to do good. And we also have certain good works, of Your gift, but not eternal; after these we hope to rest in Your great hallowing. But You, being the Good, needing no good, art ever at rest, because You Yourself art Your rest. And what man will teach man to understand this? Or what angel, an angel? Or what angel, a man? Let it be asked of You, sought in You, knocked for at You; so, even so shall it be received, so shall it be found, so shall it be opened. Matthew 7:7 Amen.

My heart, O Lord, is deeply moved by the words of Your Holy Scripture and is very occupied with the poverty of my life. For this reason, human understanding is often verbose, because asking questions requires more words than finding answers, because making demands takes longer than receiving what we need, and because the hand that knocks is more active than the hand that receives. We have Your promise; who can invalidate it? If God is for us, who can be against us? Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you: for everyone who asks receives, and whoever seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. These are Your own promises; and who should fear being deceived when the Truth makes the promise?

1. My heart, O Lord, affected by the words of Your Holy Scripture, is much busied in this poverty of my life; and therefore, for the most part, is the want of human intelligence copious in language, because inquiry speaks more than discovery, and because demanding is longer than obtaining, and the hand that knocks is more active than the hand that receives. We hold the promise; who shall break it? If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 Ask, and you shall have; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and to him that knocks it shall be opened. Matthew 7:7-8 These are Your own promises; and who need fear to be deceived where the Truth promises?

I confess to You in my weakness that You made heaven and earth. You made this heaven that I see and this earth that I walk on, from which comes this earthly body I carry. But where is that heaven of heavens, O Lord, that we hear about in the Psalm: "The heaven of heavens are the Lord's, but the earth He has given to the children of men"? Where is that heaven we cannot see, compared to which everything we can see is earth? This physical universe, though not completely uniform everywhere, has received its beautiful form in these lower regions, with our earth at the bottom. But compared to that heaven of heavens, even the heaven above our earth is merely earth. Yes, both of these vast bodies can rightly be called earth when compared to that heaven—whatever kind of heaven it is—that belongs to the Lord and not to human beings.

2. The weakness of my tongue confesses unto Your Highness, seeing that You made heaven and earth. This heaven which I see, and this earth upon which I tread (from which is this earth that I carry about me), You have made. But where is that heaven of heavens, O Lord, of which we hear in the words of the Psalm, The heaven of heavens are the Lord's, but the earth has He given to the children of men? Where is the heaven, which we behold not, in comparison of which all this, which we behold, is earth? For this corporeal whole, not as a whole everywhere, has thus received its beautiful figure in these lower parts, of which the bottom is our earth; but compared with that heaven of heavens, even the heaven of our earth is but earth; yea, each of these great bodies is not absurdly called earth, as compared with that, I know not what manner of heaven, which is the Lord's, not the sons' of men.

This earth was truly invisible and formless, and there was some kind of profound deep over it, with no light on it because it had no form. That's why you commanded it to be written that darkness was upon the face of the deep. What else could this mean except the absence of light? If light had been there, where would it have been except above everything, rising up high and giving light? So darkness was over it because light from above was absent, just like silence is present where there is no sound. What does it mean for silence to be there, except that sound is not there? Lord, haven't you taught this soul that confesses to you? Lord, haven't you taught me that before you shaped and divided this formless matter, there was nothing—no color, no shape, no body, no spirit? Yet it wasn't complete nothingness; there was a certain formlessness without any definite shape.

3. And truly this earth was invisible and formless, and there was I know not what profundity of the deep upon which there was no light, because it had no form. Therefore You commanded that it should be written, that darkness was upon the face of the deep; what else was it than the absence of light? For had there been light, where should it have been save by being above all, showing itself aloft, and enlightening? Darkness therefore was upon it, because the light above was absent; as silence is there present where sound is not. And what is it to have silence there, but not to have sound there? Have You not, O Lord, taught this soul which confesses unto You? Have You not taught me, O Lord, that before You formed and separate this formless matter, there was nothing, neither color, nor figure, nor body, nor spirit? Yet not altogether nothing; there was a certain formlessness without any shape.

What, then, should we call it, so that it might somehow be explained to those with slower minds, except by using an ordinary word? But what, in all parts of the world, can be found closer to complete formlessness than the earth and the deep? Because they occupy the lowest position, they are less beautiful than the other higher parts, which are all transparent and shining. Why, therefore, should I not consider that the formlessness of matter—which You created without shape, from which You made this orderly world—is appropriately communicated to people by the term "earth invisible and formless"?

4. What, then, should it be called, that even in some ways it might be conveyed to those of duller mind, save by some conventional word? But what, in all parts of the world, can be found nearer to a total formlessness than the earth and the deep? For, from their being of the lowest position, they are less beautiful than are the other higher parts, all transparent and shining. Why, therefore, may I not consider the formlessness of matter — which You had created without shape, whereof to make this shapely world — to be fittingly intimated unto men by the name of earth invisible and formless?

When thought tries to understand this and considers what the senses might grasp, it says to itself: This is not an intelligible form like life or justice, because it is the matter of bodies; nor can it be perceived by the senses, because nothing in the invisible and formless can be seen or felt. While human thought says these things to itself, it may attempt either to know this matter through ignorance, or through knowing it to remain ignorant.

5. So that when herein thought seeks what the sense may arrive at, and says to itself, It is no intelligible form, such as life or justice, because it is the matter of bodies; nor perceptible by the senses, because in the invisible and formless there is nothing which can be seen and felt — while human thought says these things to itself, it may endeavour either to know it by being ignorant, or by knowing it to be ignorant.

Lord, if I were to confess to You through my words and writing everything You have taught me about matter—when I first heard the word and didn't understand it (because those who told me about it couldn't understand it either)—I imagined it as having countless different forms. So I wasn't really conceiving it at all. My mind churned through disturbed and horrible forms, but they were still forms. I called it formless, not because it lacked form, but because it had the kind of form that, if it appeared to me, my mind would turn away from as strange and unsuitable, and which would disturb human weakness. But even what I imagined was formless not through the complete absence of all form, but only in comparison to more beautiful forms. True reason convinced me that I needed to strip away from it every trace of any form whatsoever if I wanted to conceive matter as completely formless, but I couldn't do it. I could more easily imagine that something deprived of all form simply didn't exist at all than conceive of anything between form and nothing—neither formed nor nothing, formless, almost nothing. My mind then stopped questioning my spirit, which was filled with images of formed bodies that it changed and varied at will. I turned my attention to the bodies themselves and looked more deeply into their mutability, by which they cease to be what they were and begin to be what they were not. I suspected this transition from form to form passed through some formless condition, not through absolute nothingness, but I wanted to know, not just guess. If my voice and pen were to confess to You everything You have untangled for me about this question, which of my readers could bear to take it all in? Yet my heart will not stop giving You honor and songs of praise for things it cannot express. For the mutability of mutable things is itself capable of receiving all those forms into which mutable things are changed. And what is this mutability? Is it soul? Is it body? Is it the outer appearance of soul or body? If it were possible to say "Nothing is something" and "That which is, is not," I would say this is what it is. Yet somehow it already existed, since it was able to receive these visible and composite shapes.

6. But were I, O Lord, by my mouth and by my pen to confess unto You the whole, whatever You have taught me concerning that matter, the name of which hearing beforehand, and not understanding (they who could not understand it telling me of it), I conceived it as having innumerable and varied forms. And therefore did I not conceive it; my mind revolved in disturbed order foul and horrible forms, but yet forms; and I called it formless, not that it lacked form, but because it had such as, did it appear, my mind would turn from, as unwonted and incongruous, and at which human weakness would be disturbed. But even that which I did conceive was formless, not by the privation of all form, but in comparison of more beautiful forms; and true reason persuaded me that I ought altogether to remove from it all remnants of any form whatever, if I wished to conceive matter wholly without form; and I could not. For sooner could I imagine that that which should be deprived of all form was not at all, than conceive anything between form and nothing — neither formed, nor nothing, formless, nearly nothing. And my mind hence ceased to question my spirit, filled (as it was) with the images of formed bodies, and changing and varying them according to its will; and I applied myself to the bodies themselves, and looked more deeply into their mutability, by which they cease to be what they had been, and begin to be what they were not; and this same transit from form unto form I have looked upon to be through some formless condition, not through a very nothing; but I desired to know, not to guess. And if my voice and my pen should confess the whole unto You, whatsoever knots You have untied for me concerning this question, who of my readers would endure to take in the whole? Nor yet, therefore, shall my heart cease to give You honour, and a song of praise, for those things which it is not able to express. For the mutability of mutable things is itself capable of all those forms into which mutable things are changed. And this mutability, what is it? Is it soul? Is it body? Is it the outer appearance of soul or body? Could it be said, Nothing were something, and That which is, is not, I would say that this were it; and yet in some manner was it already, since it could receive these visible and compound shapes.

And where and in what way did this happen, unless it came from You, from whom all things come, to the extent that they exist? But the farther something is from You, the more unlike You it is—though this is not a matter of physical distance. Therefore, You, O Lord, who are not one thing in one place and something different in another, but the Self-same, and the Self-same, and the Self-same, Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty, did in the beginning, which is from You, in Your Wisdom, which was born of Your Substance, create something, and that out of nothing. For You created heaven and earth, not out of Yourself, because then they would be equal to Your Only-begotten, and through that even equal to You; and it would in no way be right that anything should be equal to You which was not from You. And there was nothing else besides You from which You might create these things, O God, One Trinity and Trine Unity; and therefore, out of nothing You created heaven and earth—a great thing and a small thing, because You are Almighty and Good, to make all things good, even the great heaven and the small earth. You existed, and there was nothing else from which You created heaven and earth; two such things, one near to You, the other near to nothing—one to which You alone should be superior, the other to which nothing should be inferior.

7. And whence and in what manner was this, unless from You, from whom are all things, in so far as they are? But by how much the farther from You, so much the more unlike unto You; for it is not distance of place. You, therefore, O Lord, who art not one thing in one place, and otherwise in another, but the Self-same, and the Self-same, and the Self-same, Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty, did in the beginning, which is of You, in Your Wisdom, which was born of Your Substance, create something, and that out of nothing. For Thou created heaven and earth, not out of Yourself, for then they would be equal to Your Only-begotten, and thereby even to You; and in no wise would it be right that anything should be equal to You which was not of You. And anything else except You there was not whence You might create these things, O God, One Trinity, and Trine Unity; and, therefore, out of nothing You created heaven and earth — a great thing and a small, because You are Almighty and Good, to make all things good, even the great heaven and the small earth. You were, and there was nought else from which Thou created heaven and earth; two such things, one near unto You, the other near to nothing, — one to which You should be superior, the other to which nothing should be inferior.

But that heaven of heavens was for You, O Lord; but the earth, which You have given to the sons of men to be seen and touched, was not such as we now see and touch. For it was invisible and without form, and there was a deep over which there was no light; or, darkness was over the deep, that is, more than in the deep. For this deep of waters, now visible, has even in its depths a light suitable to its nature, perceptible in some way to fish and creeping things at the bottom of it. But the entire deep was almost nothing, since up to that point it was altogether formless; yet there was then that which could be formed. For You, O Lord, have made the world out of formless matter, which matter, out of nothing, You made almost nothing, out of which to make those great things which we, sons of men, wonder at. For very wonderful is this corporeal heaven, the firmament between water and water, which on the second day after the creation of light You said, Let it be made, and it was made. This firmament You called heaven, that is, the heaven of this earth and sea, which You made on the third day by giving a visible shape to the formless matter which You made before all days. For even already You had made a heaven before all days, but that was the heaven of this heaven; because in the beginning You had made heaven and earth. But the earth itself which You had made was formless matter, because it was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep. Out of this invisible and formless earth, out of this formlessness, out of this almost nothing, You made all these things of which this changeable world consists, and yet does not consist; the very changeableness of which appears in this, that times can be observed and numbered in it. Because times are made by the changes of things, while the shapes, whose matter is the invisible earth mentioned above, are varied and turned.

8. But that heaven of heavens was for You, O Lord; but the earth, which You have given to the sons of men, to be seen and touched, was not such as now we see and touch. For it was invisible and without form, Genesis 1:2 and there was a deep over which there was not light; or, darkness was over the deep, that is, more than in the deep. For this deep of waters, now visible, has, even in its depths, a light suitable to its nature, perceptible in some manner unto fishes and creeping things in the bottom of it. But the entire deep was almost nothing, since hitherto it was altogether formless; yet there was then that which could be formed. For Thou, O Lord, hast made the world of a formless matter, which matter, out of nothing, You have made almost nothing, out of which to make those great things which we, sons of men, wonder at. For very wonderful is this corporeal heaven, of which firmament, between water and water, the second day after the creation of light, Thou said, Let it be made, and it was made. Genesis 1:6-8 Which firmament You called heaven, that is, the heaven of this earth and sea, which You made on the third day, by giving a visible shape to the formless matter which You made before all days. For even already had Thou made a heaven before all days, but that was the heaven of this heaven; because in the beginning You had made heaven and earth. But the earth itself which You had made was formless matter, because it was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep. Of which invisible and formless earth, of which formlessness, of which almost nothing, You might make all these things of which this changeable world consists, and yet consists not; whose very changeableness appears in this, that times can be observed and numbered in it. Because times are made by the changes of things, while the shapes, whose matter is the invisible earth aforesaid, are varied and turned.

And so the Spirit, who is the Teacher of Your servant, remains silent about times and days when recording that You created heaven and earth in the Beginning. For certainly that heaven of heavens, which You created in the Beginning, is an intellectual creature which, though not co-eternal with You, the Trinity, nevertheless participates in Your eternity. Because of the sweetness of that most blessed contemplation of You, it greatly restrains its own mutability and, without any lapse since the moment it was created, clings to You and transcends all the revolving changes of time. But this formlessness—this earth invisible and without form—is not itself counted among the days. For where there is no shape or order, nothing comes or goes; and where this does not occur, there are certainly no days, nor any succession of periods of time.

9. And therefore the Spirit, the Teacher of Your servant when He relates that Thou did in the Beginning create heaven and earth, is silent as to times, silent as to days. For, doubtless, that heaven of heavens, which Thou in the Beginning created, is some intellectual creature, which, although in no wise co-eternal unto You, the Trinity, is yet a partaker of Your eternity, and by reason of the sweetness of that most happy contemplation of Yourself, does greatly restrain its own mutability, and without any failure, from the time in which it was created, in clinging unto You, surpasses all the rolling change of times. But this shapelessness — this earth invisible and without form — has not itself been numbered among the days. For where there is no shape nor order, nothing either comes or goes; and where this is not, there certainly are no days, nor any vicissitude of spaces of times.

Oh, let Truth, the light of my heart, speak to me, not my own darkness! I have fallen to that darkness and am in shadow. But even from there, I loved You. I wandered away, yet I remembered You. I heard Your voice behind me calling me to return, though I could barely hear it through the noise of the restless ones. And now, look, I am returning burning with desire and longing for Your fountain. Let no one keep me from it; I will drink from it and so live. Don't let me be my own life; living by myself I have lived badly—I was death to myself. In You I come back to life. Speak to me; teach me. I have believed in Your books, and their words are very profound.

10. Oh, let Truth, the light of my heart, not my own darkness, speak unto me! I have descended to that, and am darkened. But thence, even thence, did I love You. I went astray, and remembered You. I heard Your voice behind me bidding me return, and scarcely did I hear it for the tumults of the unquiet ones. And now, behold, I return burning and panting after Your fountain. Let no one prohibit me; of this will I drink, and so have life. Let me not be my own life; from myself have I badly lived — death was I unto myself; in You do I revive. Speak unto me; discourse unto me. In Your books have I believed, and their words are very deep.

You have already told me, Lord, with a strong voice in my inner ear, that You are eternal, possessing immortality alone, since You are not changed by any shape or motion, nor is Your will altered by times, because no will that changes is immortal. This is clear to me in Your sight, and I ask that it may become clearer and clearer; and in that revelation let me remain more steadily under Your wings. Likewise, You have said to me, Lord, with a strong voice in my inner ear, that You have made all natures and substances that are not what You Yourself are, and yet they exist; and that only what is not comes not from You, and that the motion of the will away from You who are, toward that which has less being, is guilt and sin; and that no one's sin either harms You or disrupts the order of Your governance, whether at the first or at the last. This is clear to me in Your sight, and I ask that it may become clearer and clearer; and in that revelation let me remain more steadily under Your wings.

11. Already have You told me, O Lord, with a strong voice, in my inner ear, that You are eternal, having alone immortality. 1 Timothy 6:16 Since You are not changed by any shape or motion, nor is Your will altered by times, because no will which changes is immortal. This in Your sight is clear to me, and let it become more and more clear, I beseech You; and in that manifestation let me abide more soberly under Your wings. Likewise have You said to me, O Lord, with a strong voice, in my inner ear, that You have made all natures and substances, which are not what You Yourself art, and yet they are; and that only is not from You which is not, and the motion of the will from You who art, to that which in a less degree is, because such motion is guilt and sin; and that no one's sin does either hurt You, or disturb the order of Your rule, either first or last. This, in Your sight, is clear to me and let it become more and more clear, I beseech You; and in that manifestation let me abide more soberly under Your wings.

You have also told me, with a strong voice in my inner ear, that the creature whose happiness depends on You alone is not co-eternal with You. This creature draws its sustenance from You with unwavering purity and never puts forth its own changeability in any place or time. Because You are always present with it, and it holds to You with its whole affection, having no future to look forward to and not transferring into the past what it remembers, it is not altered by any change nor stretched out through different times. How blessed it is—if such a being exists—to cling to Your Blessedness; blessed in You, its eternal Inhabitant and Enlightener! I cannot find a better name for the heaven of heavens, which belongs to the Lord, than Your house, which contemplates Your joy without any turning aside to something else; a pure mind, most peacefully unified, through that stability of peace belonging to the holy spirits, the citizens of Your city in the heavenly places, above these visible heavens.

12. Likewise have You said to me, with a strong voice, in my inner ear, that that creature, whose will You alone are, is not co-eternal unto You, and which, with a most persevering purity drawing its support from You, does, in place and at no time, put forth its own mutability; and Yourself being ever present with it, unto whom with its entire affection it holds itself, having no future to expect nor conveying into the past what it remembers, is varied by no change, nor extended into any times. O blessed one — if any such there be — in clinging unto Your Blessedness; blessed in You, its everlasting Inhabitant and its Enlightener! Nor do I find what the heaven of heavens, which is the Lord's, can be better called than Your house, which contemplates Your delight without any defection of going forth to another; a pure mind, most peacefully one, by that stability of peace of holy spirits, the citizens of Your city in the heavenly places, above these heavenly places which are seen.

Therefore the soul that has wandered far away may understand, if now she thirsts for You, if now her tears have become her bread while daily it is said to her "Where is your God?"—if she now seeks one thing from You and desires to dwell in Your house all the days of her life. And what is her life except You? And what are Your days except Your eternity, like Your years that do not fail, because You are always the same? From this, then, the soul that is able can understand how far beyond all times You are eternal. For Your house, which has not wandered away from You, though it is not co-eternal with You, nevertheless by continually and unfailingly clinging to You suffers no changes brought by time. This is clear to me in Your sight, and may it become more and more clear to me, I ask You. And in this revelation may I remain more steadily under Your wings.

13. Whence the soul, whose wandering has been made far away, may understand, if now she thirsts for You, if now her tears have become bread to her, while it is daily said to her Where is your God? if she now seeks of You one thing, and desires that she may dwell in Your house all the days of her life. And what is her life but You? And what are Your days but Your eternity, as Your years which fail not, because You are the same? Hence, therefore, can the soul, which is able, understand how far beyond all times You are eternal; when Your house, which has not wandered from You, although it be not co-eternal with You, yet by continually and unfailingly clinging unto You, suffers no vicissitude of times. This in Your sight is clear unto me, and may it become more and more clear unto me, I beseech You; and in this manifestation may I abide more soberly under Your wings.

Behold, I do not know what kind of shapelessness exists in those changes of these last and lowest creatures. And who will tell me, unless it is someone who wanders through the emptiness of his own heart and is confused by his own imaginings? Who, unless such a person, would tell me that (once all form is reduced and consumed), if only the formlessness remains through which the thing was changed and turned from one form into another, that formlessness itself can display the changes of times? For surely this could not be, because without the change of movements there are no times, and there is no change where there is no form.

14. Behold, I know not what shapelessness there is in those changes of these last and lowest creatures. And who shall tell me, unless it be some one who, through the emptiness of his own heart, wanders and is staggered by his own fancies? Who, unless such a one, would tell me that (all figure being diminished and consumed), if the formlessness only remain, through which the thing was changed and was turned from one figure into another, that that can exhibit the changes of times? For surely it could not be, because without the change of motions times are not, and there is no change where there is no figure.

When I consider these things as much as You grant me, O my God, when You stir me to knock, and when You open to me as I knock, I find two things that You have made not within the limits of time, since neither shares Your eternity. One is so formed that, without any interruption in contemplation, without any interval of change, although it is changeable, it remains unchanged and can fully enjoy Your eternity and unchangeableness. The other was so formless that it lacked anything by which it could be changed from one form into another, whether through motion or rest, so that it might be subject to time. But You did not leave it formless, since before all days, in the beginning You created heaven and earth—these two things of which I spoke. But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep. Through these words its formlessness is conveyed to us, so that minds which cannot fully grasp the absence of all form without reducing it to nothing may be gradually led forward—so that from this another heaven might be created, and another earth visible and well-formed, and water beautifully ordered, and whatever else is recorded to have been created in the formation of this world, not without days. Such things are of a nature that in them the changes of times may occur, because of the appointed changes of motions and forms.

15. Which things considered as much as You give, O my God, as much as Thou excitest me to knock, and as much as You open unto me when I knock, Matthew 7:7 two things I find which You have made, not within the compass of time, since neither is co-eternal with You. One, which is so formed that, without any failing of contemplation, without any interval of change, although changeable, yet not changed, it may fully enjoy Your eternity and unchangeableness; the other, which was so formless, that it had not that by which it could be changed from one form into another, either of motion or of repose, whereby it might be subject unto time. But this You did not leave to be formless, since before all days, in the beginning You created heaven and earth — these two things of which I spoke. But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep. Genesis 1:2 By which words its shapelessness is conveyed unto us, that by degrees those minds may be drawn on which cannot wholly conceive the privation of all form without coming to nothing — whence another heaven might be created, and another earth visible and well-formed, and water beautifully ordered, and whatever besides is, in the formation of this world, recorded to have been, not without days, created; because such things are so that in them the vicissitudes of times may take place, on account of the appointed changes of motions and of forms.

Meanwhile, I understand this, O my God, when I hear Your Scripture say, "In the beginning God made heaven and earth; but the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep," without stating on what day You created these things. So for now, I understand it this way: it is because of that heaven of heavens—that intellectual heaven where to understand is to know all at once, not in part, not darkly, not through a glass, but as a whole, in clear manifestation, face to face; not this thing now and that thing later, but (as I have said) to know at once without any succession of time; and because of the invisible and formless earth, also without any succession of time (whereas change usually involves having this thing now and that thing later, but where there is no form there can be no distinction between this or that)—it is because of these two things, one with primordial form and the other completely formless, the one being heaven (but the heaven of heavens), the other being earth (but the earth invisible and formless), that I understand Your Scripture to have said, without mentioning days, "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." For immediately afterward it clarified which earth it was talking about. And when the firmament is recorded as having been created on the second day and called heaven, this indicates to us which heaven He spoke of earlier without mentioning days.

16. Meanwhile I conceive this, O my God, when I hear Your Scripture speak, saying, In the beginning God made heaven and earth; but the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep, and not stating on what day Thou created these things. Thus, meanwhile, do I conceive, that it is on account of that heaven of heavens, that intellectual heaven, where to understand is to know all at once — not in part, not darkly, not through a glass, 1 Corinthians 13:12 but as a whole, in manifestation, face to face; not this thing now, that anon, but (as has been said) to know at once without any change of times; and on account of the invisible and formless earth, without any change of times; which change is wont to have this thing now, that anon, because, where there is no form there can be no distinction between this or that; — it is, then, on account of these two — a primitively formed, and a wholly formless; the one heaven, but the heaven of heavens, the other earth, but the earth invisible and formless — on account of these two do I meanwhile conceive that Your Scripture said without mention of days, In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. For immediately it added of what earth it spoke. And when on the second day the firmament is recorded to have been created, and called heaven, it suggests to us of which heaven He spoke before without mention of days.

The depth of Your oracles is wonderful—their surface lies before us, inviting the little ones, and yet the depth is wonderful, O my God, wonderful is the depth. To look into it inspires awe, an awe of honor and a tremor of love. I hate its enemies with intense hatred. Oh, if only You would slay them with Your two-edged sword, so they would no longer be its enemies! For I love them in this way: that they should be slain to themselves so they may live for You. But look at others who are not critics but praisers of the book of Genesis—"The Spirit of God," they say, "Who wrote these things through His servant Moses, did not intend these words to be understood as you say. He did not want them understood as you claim, but as we claim." To them, O God of us all, with You Yourself as Judge, I answer this way.

17. Wonderful is the depth of Your oracles, whose surface is before us, inviting the little ones; and yet wonderful is the depth, O my God, wonderful is the depth. It is awe to look into it; and awe of honour, and a tremor of love. The enemies thereof I hate vehemently. Oh, if You would slay them with Your two-edged sword, that they be not its enemies! For thus do I love, that they should be slain unto themselves that they may live unto You. But behold others not reprovers, but praisers of the book of Genesis — The Spirit of God, say they, Who by His servant Moses wrote these things, willed not that these words should be thus understood. He willed not that it should be understood as You say, but as we say. Unto whom, O God of us all, Yourself being Judge, do I thus answer.

Will you say that these things are false, which Truth tells me with a strong voice in my inner ear concerning the very eternity of the Creator: that His substance is in no way changed by time, and that His will is not separate from His substance? Therefore, He does not will one thing now and another thing later, but once and forever He wills all things that He wills. He does not will things again and again, or now this and now that, nor does He will later what He did not will before, nor fail to will what He previously willed. For such a will is mutable, and nothing mutable is eternal, but our God is eternal. Likewise He tells me, tells me in my inner ear, that the expectation of future things is turned into sight when they have come, and this same sight is turned into memory when they have passed. Moreover, all thought that is varied in this way is mutable, and nothing mutable is eternal, but our God is eternal. I sum up and put together these things, and I find that my God, the eternal God, has not made any creature by any new will, nor does His knowledge undergo anything transitory.

18. Will you say that these things are false, which, with a strong voice, Truth tells me in my inner ear, concerning the very eternity of the Creator, that His substance is in no wise changed by time, nor that His will is separate from His substance? Wherefore, He wills not one thing now, another anon, but once and for ever He wills all things that He wills; not again and again, nor now this, now that; nor wills afterwards what He wills not before, nor wills not what before He willed. Because such a will is mutable and no mutable thing is eternal; but our God is eternal. Likewise He tells me, tells me in my inner ear, that the expectation of future things is turned to sight when they have come; and this same sight is turned to memory when they have passed. Moreover, all thought which is thus varied is mutable, and nothing mutable is eternal; but our God is eternal. These things I sum up and put together, and I find that my God, the eternal God, has not made any creature by any new will, nor that His knowledge suffers anything transitory.

Will you objectors say that these things are false? No, they reply. What then? Is it false that every nature that has already been formed, or matter capable of being formed, comes only from Him who is supremely good because He is supreme? We do not deny this either, they say. What then? Do you deny that there is a certain exalted creature that clings to the true and truly eternal God with such a pure love that, although it is not co-eternal with Him, it does not separate itself from Him or flow into any variety and change of times, but rests in the truest contemplation of Him alone? For You, O God, show Yourself to him and are sufficient for him who loves You as much as You command, and therefore he does not turn away from You or toward himself. This is the house of God—not earthly, nor made of any heavenly corporeal substance, but spiritual and partaking of Your eternity, because it is without blemish forever. For You have established it forever and ever; You have given it a law which it shall not pass. Yet it is not co-eternal with You, O God, because it is not without beginning, for it was made.

19. What, therefore, will you say, you objectors? Are these things false? No, they say. What is this? Is it false, then, that every nature already formed, or matter formable, is only from Him who is supremely good, because He is supreme?…. Neither do we deny this, say they. What then? Do you deny this, that there is a certain sublime creature, clinging with so chaste a love with the true and truly eternal God, that although it be not co-eternal with Him, yet it separates itself not from Him, nor flows into any variety and vicissitude of times, but rests in the truest contemplation of Him only? Since Thou, O God, showest Yourself unto him, and sufficest him, who loves You as much as You command, and, therefore, he declines not from You, nor toward himself. This is the house of God, not earthly, nor of any celestial bulk corporeal, but a spiritual house and a partaker of Your eternity, because without blemish forever. For You have made it fast for ever and ever; You have given it a law, which it shall not pass. Nor yet is it co-eternal with You, O God, because not without beginning, for it was made.

Although we find no time before it, for wisdom was created before all things (Sirach 1:4) — not that Wisdom who is clearly co-eternal and equal to You, our God, His Father, and by Whom all things were created, and in Whom, as the Beginning, You created heaven and earth; but rather that wisdom which has been created, namely, the intellectual nature which is light in its contemplation of light. For this, although created, is also called wisdom. But the difference between the Light which enlightens and that which is enlightened is as great as the difference between the Wisdom that creates and the wisdom that has been created; just as there is a difference between the Righteousness which justifies and the righteousness which has been made by justification. For we also are called Your righteousness; as one of Your servants says: That we might be made the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21). Therefore, since a certain created wisdom was created before all things — the rational and intellectual mind of that pure city of Yours, our mother which is above and is free (Galatians 4:26) and eternal in the heavens (2 Corinthians 5:1) (in what heavens, except those that praise You, the heaven of heavens, because this also is the heaven of heavens which is the Lord's) — although we find no time before it, because what has been created before all things also comes before the creation of time, yet the Eternity of the Creator Himself comes before it, from Whom, having been created, it took its beginning, though not of time — for time did not yet exist — but of its own very nature.

20. For although we find no time before it, for wisdom was created before all things, Sirach 1:4 — not certainly that Wisdom manifestly co-eternal and equal unto You, our God, His Father, and by Whom all things were created, and in Whom, as the Beginning, You created heaven and earth; but truly that wisdom which has been created, namely, the intellectual nature, which, in the contemplation of light, is light. For this, although created, is also called wisdom. But as great as is the difference between the Light which enlightens and that which is enlightened, so great is the difference between the Wisdom that creates and that which has been created; as between the Righteousness which justifies, and the righteousness which has been made by justification. For we also are called Your righteousness; for thus says a certain servant of Yours: That we might be made the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21 Therefore, since a certain created wisdom was created before all things, the rational and intellectual mind of that chaste city of Yours, our mother which is above, and is free, Galatians 4:26 and eternal in the heavens 2 Corinthians 5:1 (in what heavens, unless in those that praise You, the heaven of heavens, because this also is the heaven of heavens, which is the Lord's) — although we find not time before it, because that which has been created before all things also precedes the creature of time, yet is the Eternity of the Creator Himself before it, from Whom, having been created, it took the beginning, although not of time — for time as yet was not — yet of its own very nature.

Hence, our God, this wisdom comes from You in such a way that it is clearly something different from You, not the same as You. Although we find that time does not exist before it, and does not exist within it either (since it is fitting for it always to behold Your face, and it is never turned away from it, which means it experiences no variation through change), there is still in it that capacity for change by which it could become dark and cold. However, by clinging to You with exalted love, it shines and glows from You like a perpetual noonday. O house full of light and splendor! I have loved your beauty and the place where the glory of my Lord dwells, your builder and owner. Let my wandering soul long for you, and I speak to Him who made you, asking that He may also take possession of me in you, since He has likewise made me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep, yet on the shoulders of my Shepherd, your builder, I hope that I may be brought back to you.

21. Hence comes it so to be of You, our God, as to be manifestly another than You, and not the Self-same. Since, although we find time not only not before it, but not in it (it being proper ever to behold Your face, nor is ever turned aside from it, wherefore it happens that it is varied by no change), yet is there in it that mutability itself whence it would become dark and cold, but that, clinging unto You with sublime love, it shines and glows from You like a perpetual noon. O house, full of light and splendour! I have loved your beauty, and the place of the habitation of the glory of my Lord, your builder and owner. Let my wandering sigh after you; and I speak unto Him that made you, that He may possess me also in you, seeing He has made me likewise. I have gone astray, like a lost sheep; yet upon the shoulders of my Sheperd, Luke 15:5 your builder, I hope that I may be brought back to you.

What do you say to me, you objectors whom I was addressing, who still believe that Moses was the holy servant of God and that his books were the oracles of the Holy Spirit? Is not this house of God, though not co-eternal with God, yet eternal in its own measure in the heavens, where you search in vain for changes of times because you will not find them? For it surpasses all extension and every revolving period of time—this reality to which it is always good to cling fast to God. "It is," they say. What, then, of those things which my heart cried out to my God when it heard within itself the voice of His praise—what part of this do you claim is false? Is it because the matter was formless, and where there was no form, there was no order? But where there was no order, there could not be any change of times. And yet this "almost nothing," inasmuch as it was not altogether nothing, truly was from Him, from Whom comes whatever is, in whatever state anything exists. "This also," they say, "we do not deny."

22. What do you say to me, O you objectors whom I was addressing, and who yet believe that Moses was the holy servant of God, and that his books were the oracles of the Holy Ghost? Is not this house of God, not indeed co-eternal with God, yet, according to its measure, eternal in the heavens, 2 Corinthians 5:l where in vain you seek for changes of times, because you will not find them? For that surpasses all extension, and every revolving space of time, to which it is ever good to cleave fast to God. It is, say they. What, therefore, of those things which my heart cried out unto my God, when within it heard the voice of His praise, what then do you contend is false? Or is it because the matter was formless, wherein, as there was no form, there was no order? But where there was no order there could not be any change of times; and yet this 'almost nothing,' inasmuch as it was not altogether nothing, was verily from Him, from Whom is whatever is, in whatever state anything is. This also, say they, we do not deny.

With those who acknowledge that all these things which Your truth shows to my mind are true, I want to have a conversation before You, O my God. As for those who deny these things, let them bark and drown out their own voices with their noise as much as they want; I will try to persuade them to be quiet and allow Your word to reach them. But if they are unwilling and push me away, I ask, O my God, that You not be silent to me. Speak truly in my heart, for You alone speak in this way, and I will send them away blowing on the dust from outside and stirring it up into their own eyes. I will go into my chamber and sing to You there songs of love—groaning with unutterable groans in my pilgrimage and remembering Jerusalem, with my heart lifted up toward it, Jerusalem my country, Jerusalem my mother, and You, the Ruler over it, the Enlightener, the Father, the Guardian, the Husband, the pure and strong delight, the solid joy, and all good things beyond words, indeed all at the same time, because You are the one supreme and true Good. And I will not be turned away until You gather all that I am from this dispersion and deformity into the peace of that most dear mother, where the first-fruits of my spirit are, from which these things are assured to me, and You shape and confirm it forever, my God, my Mercy. But regarding those who do not say that all these things which are true are false, who honor Your Holy Scripture given through holy Moses, placing it, as we do, at the summit of authority to be followed, and yet who contradict us on some points, I say this: Be, O our God, judge between my confessions and their contradictions.

23. With such as grant that all these things which Your truth indicates to my mind are true, I desire to confer a little before You, O my God. For let those who deny these things bark and drown their own voices with their clamour as much as they please; I will endeavour to persuade them to be quiet, and to suffer Your word to reach them. But should they be unwilling, and should they repel me, I beseech, O my God, that Thou be not silent to me. Do Thou speak truly in my heart, for Thou only so speakest, and I will send them away blowing upon the dust from without, and raising it up into their own eyes; and will myself enter into my chamber, Isaiah 26:20 and sing there unto You songs of love — groaning with groaning unutterable Romans 8:26 in my pilgrimage, and remembering Jerusalem, with heart raised up towards it, Jerusalem my country, Jerusalem my mother, and Yourself, the Ruler over it, the Enlightener, the Father, the Guardian, the Husband, the chaste and strong delight, the solid joy, and all good things ineffable, even all at the same time, because the one supreme and true Good. And I will not be turned away until Thou collect all that I am, from this dispersion and deformity, into the peace of that very dear mother, where are the first-fruits of my spirit, whence these things are assured to me, and Thou conform and confirm it for ever, my God, my Mercy. But with reference to those who say not that all these things which are true and false, who honour Your Holy Scripture set forth by holy Moses, placing it, as with us, on the summit of an authority to be followed, and yet who contradict us in some particulars, I thus speak: Be Thou, O our God, judge between my confessions and their contradictions.

Some people say that although these things may be true, Moses wasn't thinking about those two things when he spoke by divine revelation and said, "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." They claim that by the name "heaven" he didn't mean the spiritual or intellectual creature that always sees the face of God, and by the name "earth" he didn't mean shapeless matter. What then? These people say that Moses meant what they themselves mean, and that this is what he was declaring through those words. What is that? They say that through the names "heaven and earth," Moses first wanted to express universally and briefly this entire visible world, so that afterward, by listing the days, he could lay out in detail all those things that the Holy Spirit was pleased to reveal in this way. For the people to whom Moses spoke were so uneducated and carnal that he judged it wise to entrust to them only those works of God that were visible. However, these interpreters agree that the invisible and formless earth, along with the dark deep—from which it is later shown that all these visible things known to everyone were made and arranged during those days—can appropriately be understood as this formless matter.

24. For they say, Although these things be true, yet Moses regarded not those two things, when by divine revelation he said, 'In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.' Genesis 1:1 Under the name of heaven he did not indicate that spiritual or intellectual creature which always beholds the face of God; nor under the name of earth, that shapeless matter. What then? That man, say they, meant as we say; this it is that he declared by those words. What is that? By the name of heaven and earth, say they, did he first wish to set forth, universally and briefly, all this visible world, that afterwards by the enumeration of the days he might distribute, as if in detail, all those things which it pleased the Holy Spirit thus to reveal. For such men were that rude and carnal people to which he spoke, that he judged it prudent that only those works of God as were visible should be entrusted to them. They agree, however, that the earth invisible and formless, and the darksome deep (out of which it is subsequently pointed out that all these visible things, which are known to all, were made and set in order during those days), may not unsuitably be understood of this formless matter.

What if someone else says that this same formlessness and confusion of matter was first introduced under the name of heaven and earth, because from it this visible world was created and perfected, with all those natures that clearly appear in it, which we commonly call by the name of heaven and earth? But what if someone else says that the invisible and visible nature is appropriately called heaven and earth, and therefore the universal creation that God made in His wisdom—that is, "in the beginning"—was included under these two words? Yet since all things have been made not from the substance of God but out of nothing (because they are not the same thing that God is, and there is in them all a certain changeability, whether they remain unchanged like the eternal house of God or are changed like the soul and body of man), therefore the common matter of all things invisible and visible—still formless but capable of receiving form—out of which heaven and earth were to be created (that is, the invisible and visible creature already formed), was spoken of by the same names by which the earth invisible and formless and the darkness upon the deep would be called. However, there is this difference: the earth invisible and formless is understood as bodily matter before it had any kind of form, but the darkness upon the deep is understood as spiritual matter before it was restrained at all from its unlimited flowing, and before the enlightening of wisdom.

25. What, now, if another should say That this same formlessness and confusion of matter was first introduced under the name of heaven and earth, because out of it this visible world, with all those natures which most manifestly appear in it, and which is wont to be called by the name of heaven and earth, was created and perfected? But what if another should say, that That invisible and visible nature is not inaptly called heaven and earth; and that consequently the universal creation, which God in His wisdom has made — that is, 'in the begining,'– was comprehended under these two words. Yet, since all things have been made, not of the substance of God, but out of nothing (because they are not that same thing that God is, and there is in them all a certain mutability, whether they remain, as does the eternal house of God, or be changed, as are the soul and body of man), therefore, that the common matter of all things invisible and visible — as yet shapeless, but still capable of form, — out of which was to be created heaven and earth (that is, the invisible and visible creature already formed), was spoken of by the same names by which the earth invisible and formless and the darkness upon the deep would be called; with this difference, however, that the earth invisible and formless is understood as corporeal matter, before it had any manner of form, but the darkness upon the deep as spiritual matter, before it was restrained at all of its unlimited fluidity, and before the enlightening of wisdom.

Someone might also claim that when we read "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth," these words do not refer to already completed and formed natures, both invisible and visible. Instead, they refer to the still formless beginning of things—matter capable of receiving form and being made into something. This matter was called by these names because it contained all these confused things that were not yet distinguished by their qualities and forms. These things, now arranged in their proper orders, are called heaven and earth—the former being the spiritual creation, the latter the bodily creation.

26. Should any man wish, he may still say, That the already perfected and formed natures, invisible and visible, are not signified under the name of heaven and earth when it is read, 'In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth;' but that the yet same formless beginning of things, the matter capable of being formed and made, was called by these names, because contained in it there were these confused things not as yet distinguished by their qualities and forms, the which now being digested in their own orders, are called heaven and earth, the former being the spiritual, the latter the corporeal creature.

Having heard and considered all these things, I am unwilling to argue about words, for that is profitable for nothing except the subverting of the hearers. But the law is good for building up, if a man uses it lawfully; for its purpose is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of unfeigned faith. And our Master knew well upon which two commandments He hung all the Law and the Prophets. And what does it harm me, O my God, You who are the light of my eyes in secret, while I earnestly confess these things—since many things may be understood by these words, all of which are yet true—what, I say, does it harm me if I think differently about what the writer thought than some other man thinks? Indeed, all of us who read try to trace out and to understand what the writer we are reading wished to convey; and since we believe him to speak truly, we dare not suppose that he has spoken anything which we either know or suppose to be false. Therefore, since each person tries to understand in the Holy Scriptures what the writer understood, what harm is it if a man understands what You, the light of all truth-speaking minds, show him to be true, even though the writer he reads did not understand this, seeing that the writer also understood a Truth, though not this particular Truth?

27. All which things having been heard and considered, I am unwilling to contend about words, for that is profitable to nothing but to the subverting of the hearers. 2 Timothy 2:14 But the law is good to edify, if a man use it lawfully; 1 Timothy 1:8 for the end of it is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned. And well did our Master know, upon which two commandments He hung all the Law and the Prophets. And what does it hinder me, O my God, Thou light of my eyes in secret, while ardently confessing these things — since by these words many things may be understood, all of which are yet true — what, I say, does it hinder me, should I think otherwise of what the writer thought than some other man thinks? Indeed, all of us who read endeavour to trace out and to understand that which he whom we read wished to convey; and as we believe him to speak truly, we dare not suppose that he has spoken anything which we either know or suppose to be false. Since, therefore, each person endeavours to understand in the Holy Scriptures that which the writer understood, what hurt is it if a man understand what Thou, the light of all true-speaking minds, dost show him to be true although he whom he reads understood not this, seeing that he also understood a Truth, not, however, this Truth?

It is true, Lord, that You made heaven and earth. It is also true that the Beginning is Your Wisdom, in which You made all things. It is likewise true that this visible world has its own great parts, the heaven and the earth, which briefly contains all made and created natures. It is also true that everything changeable shows our minds a certain lack of form, from which it receives a form, or is changed and transformed. It is true that what clings so firmly to the unchangeable form that, though it is changeable, it does not change, is not subject to time. It is true that formlessness, which is almost nothing, cannot experience changes of time. It is true that what something is made from can, in a certain way of speaking, be called by the name of the thing that is made from it. Therefore, the formlessness from which heaven and earth were made could be called heaven and earth. It is true that among all things that have form, nothing is closer to the formless than the earth and the deep. It is true that not only every created and formed thing, but also whatever is capable of being created and formed, You have made, for by You are all things. It is true that everything that is formed from what is formless was formless before it was formed.

28. For it is true, O Lord, that You have made heaven and earth; it is also true, that the Beginning is Your Wisdom, in Which You have made all things. It is likewise true, that this visible world has its own great parts, the heaven and the earth, which in a short compass comprehends all made and created natures. It is also true, that everything mutable sets before our minds a certain want of form, whereof it takes a form, or is changed and turned. It is true, that that is subject to no times which so cleaves to the changeless form as that, though it be mutable, it is not changed. It is true, that the formlessness, which is almost nothing, cannot have changes, of times. It is true, that that of which anything is made may by a certain mode of speech be called by the name of that thing which is made of it; whence that formlessness of which heaven and earth were made might it be called heaven and earth. It is true, that of all things having form, nothing is nearer to the formless than the earth and the deep. It is true, that not only every created, and formed thing, but also whatever is capable of creation and of form, You have made, by whom are all things. 1 Corinthians 8:6 It is true, that everything that is formed from that which is formless was formless before it was formed.

From all these truths, which are not doubted by those whose inner eye You have enabled to see such things and who unwaveringly believe that Moses, Your servant, spoke in the spirit of truth—from all these truths, then, one person adopts this interpretation: "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth" means that in His Word, co-eternal with Himself, God made the intelligible and sensible, or the spiritual and corporeal creature. Another person adopts this interpretation: "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth" means that in His Word, co-eternal with Himself, God made the universal mass of this corporeal world, with all those visible and known natures it contains. Another person takes this view: "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth" means that in His Word, co-eternal with Himself, God made the formless matter of the spiritual and corporeal creature. Another person says: "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth" means that in His Word, co-eternal with Himself, God made the formless matter of the corporeal creature, in which heaven and earth still lay confused, which being now distinguished and formed, we today see in the mass of this world. Another person says: "In the beginning God created heaven and earth" means that in the very beginning of creating and working, God made that formless matter confusedly containing heaven and earth, out of which, being formed, they now stand out and are visible, with all the things that are in them.

29. From all these truths, of which they doubt not whose inner eye You have granted to see such things, and who immoveably believe Moses, Your servant, to have spoken in the spirit of truth; from all these, then, he takes one who says, In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, — that is, In His Word, co-eternal with Himself, God made the intelligible and the sensible, or the spiritual and corporeal creature. He takes another, who says, In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, — that is, In His Word, co-eternal with Himself, God made the universal mass of this corporeal world, with all those manifest and known natures which it contains. He, another, who says, In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, that is, In His Word, co-eternal with Himself, God made the formless matter of the spiritual and corporeal creature. He, another, who says, In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, — that is, In His Word, co-eternal with Himself, God made the formless matter of the corporeal creature, wherein heaven and earth lay as yet confused, which being now distinguished and formed, we, at this day, see in the mass of this world. He, another, who says, In the beginning God created heaven and earth, — that is, In the very beginning of creating and working, God made that formless matter confusedly containing heaven and earth, out of which, being formed, they now stand out, and are manifest, with all the things that are in them.

Regarding how to understand the following words, each person selected one truth for themselves from all these truths. One person says, "But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep" means that the corporeal thing God made was still the formless matter of corporeal things, without order and without light. Another person takes a different view and says, "But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep" means that this whole thing called heaven and earth was still formless and dark matter, from which the corporeal heaven and the corporeal earth were to be made, along with all things in them that our corporeal senses can perceive. Another person says, "But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep" means that this whole thing called heaven and earth was still formless and dark matter, from which the intelligible heaven (which is also called the heaven of heavens) and the earth (namely, the whole corporeal nature, which can also include this corporeal heaven) were to be made—in other words, from which every invisible and visible creature would be created. Another person says, "But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep"—Scripture did not call that formlessness by the name of heaven and earth, but rather, he says, that formlessness already existed, which Scripture named "the earth invisible and formless" and "the darksome deep," about which it had said earlier that God made the heaven and the earth, namely, the spiritual and corporeal creature. Another person says, "But the earth was invisible and formless, and darkness was upon the deep" means that there already was a formless matter, about which Scripture earlier said that God made heaven and earth, namely, the entire corporeal mass of the world divided into two very large parts, the upper and the lower, with all those familiar and known creatures that are in them.

30. And as concerns the understanding of the following words, out of all those truths he selected one to himself, who says, But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep, — that is, That corporeal thing, which God made, was as yet the formless matter of corporeal things, without order, without light. He takes another, who says, But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep, — that is, This whole, which is called heaven and earth, was as yet formless and darksome matter, out of which the corporeal heaven and the corporeal earth were to be made, with all things therein which are known to our corporeal senses. He, another, who says, But the earth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep, — that is, This whole, which is called heaven and earth, was as yet a formless and darksome matter, out of which were to be made that intelligible heaven, which is otherwise called the heaven of heavens, and the earth, namely, the whole corporeal nature, under which name may also be comprised this corporeal heaven, — that is, from which every invisible and visible creature would be created. He, another, who says, But the carth was invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep, — The Scripture called not that formlessness by the name of heaven and earth, but that formlessness itself, says he, already was, which he named the earth invisible and formless and the darksome deep, of which he had said before, that God had made the heaven and the earth, namely, the spiritual and corporeal creature. He, another, who says, But the earth was invisible and formless, and darkness was upon the deep, — that is, There was already a formless matter, whereof the Scripture before said, that God had made heaven and earth, namely, the entire corporeal mass of the world, divided into two very great parts, the superior and the inferior, with all those familiar and known creatures which are in them.

If anyone tries to argue against these last two opinions in this way: If you won't admit that this formlessness of matter is what's being called heaven and earth, then there was something that God had not made, out of which He could make heaven and earth. For Scripture hasn't told us that God made this matter, unless we understand it to be included in the term heaven and earth, or earth alone, when it says, "In the beginning God created heaven and earth." The phrase that follows, "but the earth was invisible and formless," even though the author was pleased to call the formless matter this way, shouldn't lead us to understand anything other than what God made in the text that has already been written: "God made heaven and earth." When the supporters of either of these two opinions that we've listed last hear these things, they will answer and say: We certainly don't deny that this formless matter was created by God, the God from whom all things come, which are very good. Just as we say that what is created and formed is a greater good, so we acknowledge that what is capable of receiving creation and form is a lesser good, but still good. Yet Scripture hasn't declared that God made this formlessness, any more than it has declared many other things—like the Cherubim and Seraphim, and those which the apostle specifically mentions: Thrones, Dominions, Principalities, Powers (Colossians 1:16), all of which God clearly made. Or if all things are included in the phrase "He made heaven and earth," what do we say about the waters over which the Spirit of God moved? If they're understood as included in the word earth, how can formless matter be meant by the term earth when we see the waters so beautiful? Or if it is meant that way, why then is it written that out of this same formlessness the firmament was made and called heaven, yet it's not written that the waters were made? For those waters that we perceive flowing in such a beautiful way don't remain formless and invisible. But if they received that beauty when God said, "Let the water which is under the firmament be gathered together" (Genesis 1:9), so that the gathering itself is the forming, what answer will be given concerning the waters above the firmament? If they were formless, they wouldn't have deserved to receive such an honorable place, nor is it written by what word they were formed. If Genesis is silent about something that God has made, which sound faith and unerring understanding nevertheless don't doubt God made, let no sober teaching dare to say that these waters were co-eternal with God just because we find them mentioned in the book of Genesis, even though we don't find when they were created. Why—with truth instructing us—may we not understand that the formless matter, which Scripture calls the earth invisible and without form, and the darksome deep, was made by God out of nothing, and therefore is not co-eternal with Him, even though that narrative failed to tell when it was made?

31. For, should any one endeavour to contend against these last two opinions, thus — If you will not admit that this formlessness of matter appears to be called by the name of heaven and earth, then there was something which God had not made out of which He could make heaven and earth; for Scripture has not told us that God made this matter, unless we understand it to be implied in the term of heaven and earth, or of earth only, when it is said, 'In the beginning God created heaven and earth,' as that which follows, but the earth was invisible and formless, although it was pleasing to him so to call the formless matter, we may not yet understand any but that which God made in that text which has been already written, 'God made heaven and earth.' The maintainers of either one or the other of these two opinions which we have put last will, when they have heard these things, answer and say, We deny not indeed that this formless matter was created by God, the God of whom are all things, very good; for, as we say that that is a greater good which is created and formed, so we acknowledge that that is a minor good which is capable of creation and form, but yet good. But yet the Scripture has not declared that God made this formlessness, any more than it has declared many other things; as the 'Cherubim,' and 'Seraphim,' and those of which the apostle distinctly speaks, 'Thrones,' 'Dominions,' 'Principalities,' 'Powers,' Colossians 1:16 all of which it is manifest God made. Or if in that which is said, 'He made heaven and earth,' all things are comprehended, what do we say of the waters upon which the Spirit of God moved? For if they are understood as incorporated in the word earth, how then can formless matter be meant in the term earth when we see the waters so beautiful? Or if it be so meant, why then is it written that out of the same formlessness the firmament was made and called heaven, and yet it is not written that the waters were made? For those waters, which we perceive flowing in so beautiful a manner, remain not formless and invisible. But if, then, they received that beauty when God said, Let the water which is under the firmament be gathered together, Genesis 1:9 so that the gathering be the very formation, what will be answered concerning the waters which are above the firmament, because if formless they would not have deserved to receive a seat so honourable, nor is it written by what word they were formed? If, then, Genesis is silent as to anything that God has made, which, however, neither sound faith nor unerring understanding doubts that God has made, let not any sober teaching dare to say that these waters were co-eternal with God because we find them mentioned in the book of Genesis; but when they were created, we find not. Why — truth instructing us — may we not understand that that formless matter, which the Scripture calls the earth invisible and without form, and the darksome deep, have been made by God out of nothing, and therefore that they are not co-eternal with Him, although that narrative has failed to tell when they were made?

Having heard and understood these things according to my limited ability to comprehend—which I confess to You, O Lord, who knows it—I see that two kinds of disagreements can arise when something is communicated through words, even by truthful messengers. One disagreement concerns the truth of the things themselves, and the other concerns the meaning intended by the person who reports them. For we can inquire in one way about what is true concerning the formation of creation, but in another way about what Moses, that excellent servant of Your faith, wanted the reader and hearer to understand by these words. Regarding the first kind of disagreement, let all those who imagine they know as true what is actually false depart from me. And regarding the second kind as well, let all those who imagine Moses spoke things that are false depart from me. But let me be united in You, O Lord, with those who feed on Your truth, and let me delight myself in You with them in the breadth of charity. And let us approach together the words of Your book and search in them for Your will, through the will of Your servant by whose pen You have given them to us.

32. These things, therefore, being heard and perceived according to my weakness of apprehension, which I confess unto You, O Lord, who know it, I see that two sorts of differences may arise when by signs anything is related, even by true reporters — one concerning the truth of the things, the other concerning the meaning of him who reports them. For in one way we inquire, concerning the forming of the creature, what is true; but in another, what Moses, that excellent servant of Your faith, would have wished that the reader and hearer should understand by these words. As for the first kind, let all those depart from me who imagine themselves to know as true what is false. And as for the other also, let all depart from me who imagine Moses to have spoken things that are false. But let me be united in You, O Lord, with them, and in You delight myself with them that feed on Your truth, in the breadth of charity; and let us approach together unto the words of Your book, and in them make search for Your will, through the will of Your servant by whose pen You have dispensed them.

But which of us, among so many truths that come to mind for those examining these words—understood as they are in different ways—can discover that one interpretation so as to say confidently that Moses thought this, and that in his narrative he intended this to be understood, as confidently as he says that this is true, whether he thought this thing or another? For look, O my God, I am Your servant, and in this book I have promised You a sacrifice of confession, and I beg You that by Your mercy I may fulfill my promises to You. Look—can I assert with the same confidence that You in Your unchangeable word created all things, invisible and visible, as I would need to assert that Moses meant nothing else than this when he wrote, "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth"? No. Because it is not as clear to me that this was in his mind when he wrote these things as I see it to be certain in Your truth. For his thoughts might have been focused on the very beginning of creation when he said, "In the beginning," and he might have intended it to be understood that, in this passage, heaven and earth were not yet formed and perfected natures, whether spiritual or corporeal, but each of them was newly begun and still formless. Because I see that whichever of these had been said, it could have been said truly; but which of them he may have thought of in these words, I do not perceive with certainty. However, whether it was one of these or some other meaning not mentioned by me that this great man saw in his mind when he used these words, I have no doubt that he saw it truly and expressed it appropriately.

33. But which of us, amid so many truths which occur to inquirers in these words, understood as they are in different ways, shall so discover that one interpretation as to confidently say that Moses thought this, and that in that narrative he wished this to be understood, as confidently as he says that this is true, whether he thought this thing or the other? For behold, O my God, I Your servant, who in this book have vowed unto You a sacrifice of confession, and beseech You that of Your mercy I may pay my vows unto You, behold, can I, as I confidently assert that Thou in Your immutable word hast created all things, invisible and visible, with equal confidence assert that Moses meant nothing else than this when he wrote, In the beginning God created. the heaven and the earth. No. Because it is not as clear to me that this was in his mind when he wrote these things, as I see it to be certain in Your truth. For his thoughts might be set upon the very beginning of the creation when he said, In the beginning; and he might wish it to be understood that, in this place, the heaven and the earth were no formed and perfected nature, whether spiritual or corporeal, but each of them newly begun, and as yet formless. Because I see, that which-soever of these had been said, it might have been said truly; but which of them he may have thought in these words, I do not so perceive. Although, whether it were one of these, or some other meaning which has not been mentioned by me, that this great man saw in his mind when he used these words, I make no doubt but that he saw it truly, and expressed it suitably.

Let no one bother me now by saying, "Moses didn't think what you say, but what I say." If he were to ask me, "How do you know that Moses thought what you derive from his words?" I should accept it calmly and reply perhaps as I have already done, or more fully if he remains stubborn. But when he says, "Moses didn't mean what you say, but what I say," and yet doesn't deny that what each of us says is true—that both interpretations are true—O my God, life of the poor, in whose heart there is no contradiction, pour down Your comfort into my heart, so that I may patiently endure those who say this to me. They say it not because they are divinely inspired, and not because they have seen into the heart of Your servant Moses what they claim, but because they are proud. They have not truly known Moses' opinion, but love their own—not because it is true, but because it is theirs. Otherwise they would equally love another true opinion, just as I love what they say when they speak the truth. I love it not because it is theirs, but because it is true, and therefore it is no longer exclusively theirs since it is true. But if they love their opinion because it is true, then it is now both theirs and mine, since it is common to all lovers of truth. But because they insist that Moses meant not what I say but what they say, I neither like nor love this claim. Even if it were so, their rashness comes not from knowledge but from audacity; it was brought forth not by vision but by vanity. And therefore, O Lord, Your judgments are to be feared, since Your truth is neither mine, nor his, nor another's, but belongs to all of us, whom You publicly call to share it in common. You warn us terribly not to claim it as specially our own, lest we be deprived of it. For whoever claims as his own what You have appointed for all to enjoy, and desires that what belongs to all should be his alone, is driven away from what is common to all toward what is his own—that is, from truth to falsehood. For he who speaks a lie speaks from his own. John 8:44

34. Let no one now trouble me by saying, Moses thought not as you say, but as I say. For should he ask me, Whence do you know that Moses thought this which you deduce from his words? I ought to take it contentedly, and reply perhaps as I have before, or somewhat more fully should he be obstinate. But when he says, Moses meant not what you say, but what I say, and yet denies not what each of us says, and that both are true, O my God, life of the poor, in whose bosom there is no contradiction, pour down into my heart Your soothings, that I may patiently bear with such as say this to me; not because they are divine, and because they have seen in the heart of Your servant what they say, but because they are proud, and have not known the opinion of Moses, but love their own — not because it is true, but because it is their own. Otherwise they would equally love another true opinion, as I love what they say when they speak what is true; not because it is theirs, but because it is true, and therefore now not theirs because true. But if they therefore love that because it is true, it is now both theirs and mine, since it is common to all the lovers of truth. But because they contend that Moses meant not what I say, but I what they themselves say, this I neither like nor love; because, though it were so, yet that rashness is not of knowledge, but of audacity; and not vision, but vanity brought it forth. And therefore, O Lord, are Your judgments to be dreaded, since Your truth is neither mine, nor his, nor another's, but of all of us, whom Thou publicly callest to have it in common, warning us terribly not to hold it as specially for ourselves, lest we be deprived of it. For whosoever claims to himself as his own that which Thou appointed to all to enjoy, and desires that to be his own which belongs to all, is forced away from what is common to all to that which is his own — that is, from truth to falsehood. For he that speaks a lie, speaks of his own. John 8:44

Listen, O God, You who are the best Judge! Truth itself, listen to what I will say to this person who opposes me; listen, because I say this before You and before my brothers who use Your law lawfully, for the purpose of charity; listen and see what I will say to him, if it pleases You. For I return this brotherly and peaceful response to him: If we both see that what you say is true, and if we both see that what I say is true, where, I ask, do we see it? Certainly I do not see it in you, nor do you see it in me, but we both see it in the unchangeable truth itself, which is above our minds. Therefore, when we need not argue about the very light of the Lord our God, why do we argue about the thoughts of our neighbor, which we cannot see in the way that unchangeable truth is seen—especially when, if Moses himself had appeared to us and said, "This is what I meant," we would not see it that way, but would have to believe it? Let us not, then, be puffed up for one against the other, above what is written; let us love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our mind, and our neighbor as ourselves. Regarding these two commandments of charity, unless we believe that Moses meant whatever he did mean in these books, we will make God a liar when we think differently about our fellow servants' minds than He has taught us. Look now, how foolish it is, given such a great abundance of the truest interpretations that can be drawn from these words, to rashly declare which one Moses particularly meant; and with destructive arguments to offend charity itself, for the sake of which he has spoken all the things whose words we are trying to explain!

35. Hearken, O God, Thou best Judge! Truth itself, hearken to what I shall say to this gainsayer; hearken, for before You I say it, and before my brethren who use Your law lawfully, to the end of charity; 1 Timothy 1:8 hearken and behold what I shall say to him, if it be pleasing unto You. For this brotherly and peaceful word do I return unto him: If we both see that that which you say is true, and if we both see that what I say is true, where, I ask, do we see it? Certainly not I in you, nor you in me, but both in the unchangeable truth itself, which is above our minds. When, therefore, we may not contend about the very light of the Lord our God, why do we contend about the thoughts of. our neighbour, which we cannot so see as incommutable truth is seen; when, if Moses himself had appeared to us and said, This I meant, not so should we see it, but believe it? Let us not, then, be puffed up for one against the other, 1 Corinthians 4:6 above that which is written; let us love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our mind, and our neighbour as ourself. Mark 12:30-31 As to which two precepts of charity, unless we believe that Moses meant whatever in these books he did mean, we shall make God a liar when we think otherwise concerning our fellow-servants' mind than He has taught us. Behold, now, how foolish it is, in so great an abundance of the truest opinions which can be extracted from these words, rashly to affirm which of them Moses particularly meant; and with pernicious contentions to offend charity itself, on account of which he has spoken all the things whose words we endeavour to explain!

And yet, O my God, You who lift up my humility and give rest to my labor, who hear my confessions and forgive my sins, since You command me to love my neighbor as myself, I cannot believe that You gave to Moses, Your most faithful servant, a lesser gift than I would wish and desire for myself from You, had I been born in his time and had You placed me in that position so that through the service of my heart and tongue those books might be distributed. These books were destined to benefit all nations long afterward and, through the whole world, to rise above the words of all false and arrogant teachings from such a great height of authority. I would have truly wished, had I then been Moses (for we all come from the same lump; and what is man, except that You are mindful of him?), that if I had been at that time what he was, and if You had commanded me to write the book of Genesis, such power of expression and such method of arrangement should be given to me that those who cannot yet understand how God creates would not reject the words as beyond their ability, and those who are already able to understand this would find that whatever true opinion they had reached by thought was not passed over in the few words of Your servant. And should another person by the light of truth have discovered another meaning, neither should that fail to be found in those same words.

36. And yet, O my God, Thou exaltation of my humility, and rest of my labour, who hear my confessions, and forgivest my sins, since You command me that I should love my neighbour as myself, I cannot believe that You gave to Moses, Your most faithful servant, a less gift than I should wish and desire for myself from You, had I been born in his time, and had Thou placed me in that position that through the service of my heart and of my tongue those books might be distributed, which so long after were to profit all nations, and through the whole world, from so great a pinnacle of authority, were to surmount the words of all false and proud teachings. I should have wished truly had I then been Moses (for we all come from the same mass; and what is man, saving that You are mindful of him?). I should then, had I been at that time what he was, and enjoined by You to write the book of Genesis, have wished that such a power of expression and such a method of arrangement should be given me, that they who cannot as yet understand how God creates might not reject the words as surpassing their powers; and they who are already able to do this, would find, in whatever true opinion they had by thought arrived at, that it was not passed over in the few words of Your servant; and should another man by the light of truth have discovered another, neither should that fail to be found in those same words.

For just as a fountain in a confined space is more abundant and supplies more streams over greater areas than any single stream that flows from the same fountain after traveling a long distance, so the narrative of Your spokesman, intended to help many people who would discuss it, flows from a brief measure of language into streams of clear truth. From these streams, each person may draw out whatever truth he can grasp about these matters—one person drawing out one truth, another person drawing out another truth, through more elaborate explanations. For some people, when they read or hear these words, imagine that God, like a human being or some vast entity endowed with immense power, by some new and sudden decision, created heaven and earth outside itself, as if in distant locations—two great bodies, one above and one below, within which all things were to be contained. And when they hear "God said, Let it be made, and it was made," they imagine words that begin and end, sounding in time and passing away, after which the thing commanded to exist came into being, along with whatever else their familiarity with the physical world might suggest. In these people, who are still spiritual infants, while their weakness is carried along as if in a mother's arms by this humble kind of speech, their faith is wholesomely built up, enabling them to hold as certain that God made all the natures which their senses perceive everywhere around them in wonderful variety. But if anyone, despising these words as trivial, stretches himself with proud weakness beyond the cradle that nurtures him, he will, sadly, fall miserably. Have pity, O Lord God, lest those who pass by trample on the unfledged bird. Send Your angel to restore it to its nest so that it may live until it can fly.

37. For as a fountain in a limited space is more plentiful, and affords supply for more streams over larger spaces than any one of those streams which, after a wide interval, is derived from the same fountain; so the narrative of Your dispenser, destined to benefit many who were likely to discourse thereon, does, from a limited measure of language, overflow into streams of clear truth, whence each one may draw out for himself that truth which he can concerning these subjects — this one that truth, that one another, by larger circumlocutions of discourse. For some, when they read or hear these words, think that God as a man or some mass gifted with immense power, by some new and sudden resolve, had, outside itself, as if at distant places, created heaven and earth, two great bodies above and below, wherein all things were to be contained. And when they hear, God said, Let it be made, and it was made, they think of words begun and ended, sounding in times and passing away, after the departure of which that came into being which was commanded to be; and whatever else of the kind their familiarity with the world would suggest. In whom, being as yet little ones, while their weakness by this humble kind of speech is carried on as if in a mother's bosom, their faith is healthfully built up, by which they have and hold as certain that God made all natures, which in wondrous variety their senses perceive on every side. Which words, if any one despising them, as if trivial, with proud weakness shall have stretched himself beyond his fostering cradle, he will, alas, fall miserably. Have pity, O Lord God, lest they who pass by trample on the unfledged bird; and send Your angel, who may restore it to its nest that it may live until it can fly.

But others, for whom these words are no longer a nest but shady fruit-bowers, see the fruits hidden in them, fly around rejoicing, and with cheerful searching pluck them. For when they read or hear these words, O God, they see that all past and future times are surpassed by Your eternal and unchanging existence, and yet there is no temporal creature that You have not made. And by Your will, because Your will is identical with what You are, You have made all things—not through any change of will, nor through a will that did not exist before—not out of Yourself, in Your own likeness, as the form of all things, but out of nothing, as a formless unlikeness that would be given form by Your likeness (turning back to You the One, according to their appointed capacity, as it has been given to each thing in its kind), so that all might be made very good. This is true whether they remain near You, or, being gradually removed in time and place, create or undergo beautiful changes. These things they see, and they rejoice in the light of Your truth, to whatever small degree they can here.

38. But others, to whom these words are no longer a nest, but shady fruit-bowers, see the fruits concealed in them, fly around rejoicing, and chirpingly search and pluck them. For they see when they read or hear these words, O God, that all times past and future are surmounted by Your eternal and stable abiding, and still that there is no temporal creature which You have not made. And by Your will, because it is that which You are, You have made all things, not by any changed will, nor by a will which before was not — not out of Yourself, in Your own likeness, the form of all things, but out of nothing, a formless unlikeness which should be formed by Your likeness (having recourse to You the One, after their settled capacity, according as it has been given to each thing in his kind), and might all be made very good; whether they remain around You, or, being by degrees removed in time and place, make or undergo beautiful variations. These things they see, and rejoice in the light of Your truth, in the little degree they here may.

Again, another person focuses on the words "In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth" and sees Wisdom as the Beginning, because It also speaks to us. Another person likewise focuses on the same words, and by "beginning" understands the start of created things, and takes it this way: "In the beginning He made," as if it said, "He made at first." And among those who understand "In the beginning" to mean that in Your Wisdom You created heaven and earth, one person believes that what is called "heaven and earth" refers to the matter out of which heaven and earth were going to be created. Another believes these are natures already formed and distinct. Another believes one is a formed nature—specifically a spiritual one—under the name of heaven, and the other is formless corporeal matter under the name of earth. But those who understand the name "heaven and earth" to mean matter that is still formless, out of which heaven and earth were going to be formed, do not themselves understand it in one way. One person thinks this matter is what the intelligible and the sensible creature were to be completed from. Another thinks it is only what this sensible corporeal mass was to come from, containing in its vast expanse these visible and prepared natures. Nor do those who believe that the creatures already set in order and arranged are what is called "heaven and earth" in this passage agree with one another. One person means both the invisible and visible creatures, while another means only the visible, in which we admire the bright heaven and dark earth, and the things that are in them.

39. Again, another of these directs his attention to that which is said, In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth, and beholds Wisdom — the Beginning, because It also speaks unto us. John 8:23 Another likewise directs his attention to the same words, and by beginning understands the commencement of things created; and receives it thus — In the beginning He made, as if it were said, He at first made. And among those who understand In the beginning to mean, that in Your Wisdom You have created heaven and earth, one believes the matter out of which the heaven and earth were to be created to be there called heaven and earth; another, that they are natures already formed and distinct; another, one formed nature, and that a spiritual, under the name of heaven, the other formless, of corporeal matter, under the name of earth. But they who under the name of heaven and earth understand matter as yet formless, out of which were to be formed heaven and earth, do not themselves understand it in one manner; but one, that matter out of which the intelligible and the sensible creature were to be completed; another, that only out of which this sensible corporeal mass was to come, holding in its vast bosom these visible and prepared natures. Nor are they who believe that the creatures already set in order and arranged are in this place called heaven and earth of one accord; but the one, both the invisible and visible; the other, the visible only, in which we admire the luminous heaven and darksome earth, and the things that are therein.

But whoever understands "In the beginning He made" to mean "At first He made" can only truly understand heaven and earth as the matter of heaven and earth—that is, the universal creation, both intelligible and corporeal. For if he takes it to mean the universe as already formed, one might rightly ask him: If God made this first, what did He make afterwards? After the universe he will find nothing, so he must unwillingly hear: How is this first if there is nothing afterwards? But when he says that God first made matter formless and then formed it, he is not being absurd, provided he can discern what precedes by eternity, what by time, what by choice, and what by origin. By eternity, God is before all things; by time, the flower is before the fruit; by choice, the fruit is before the flower; by origin, sound is before the tune. Of these four modes, the first and last are very difficult to understand; the two middle ones are quite easy. For it requires an uncommon and lofty vision to behold, O Lord, Your Eternity immutably making mutable things and thereby existing before them. Who has a mind keen enough to discover without great effort how sound is prior to tune, since a tune is formed sound, and something unformed can exist, but what does not exist cannot be formed? Thus matter is prior to what is made from it—not prior because it makes it (since matter is itself made), nor prior by an interval of time. For we do not first utter formless sounds in time without singing and then adapt or fashion them into the form of a song, as wood or silver precedes in time the chest or vessel made from it. In singing, this is not the case. For when a song is sung, its sound is heard simultaneously; there is no formless sound first that is afterwards formed into a song. As soon as it sounds, it passes away; you cannot find any part of it that can be recalled and composed by art. Therefore, the song is absorbed in its own sound, and this sound is its matter. This matter is formed so that it becomes a tune; therefore, as I said, the matter of sound is prior to the form of the tune—not prior through any power to make it a tune (for sound is not the composer of the tune but is sent forth from the body and subjected to the singer's soul, so that from it he may form a tune); nor prior in time, for it is produced together with the tune; nor prior in choice, for sound is not better than a tune, since a tune is not merely sound but beautiful sound. But it is prior in origin, because the tune is not formed in order to become sound, but sound is formed in order to become a tune. By this example, let whoever is able understand that the matter of things was made first and called heaven and earth, because heaven and earth were made from it. Not that it was made first in time, because the forms of things give rise to time, but it was formless. Now, in time, it is perceived together with its form. Yet nothing can be said about that matter except as if it were prior in time, though it is considered last (because formed things are certainly superior to formless things) and is preceded by the Eternity of the Creator, so that there might exist, out of nothing, that from which something might be made.

40. But he who does not otherwise understand, In the beginning He made, than if it were said, At first He made, can only truly understand heaven and earth of the matter of heaven and earth, namely, of the universal, that is, intelligible and corporeal creation. For if he would have it of the universe. as already formed, it might rightly be asked of him: If at first God made this, what made He afterwards? And after the universe he will find nothing; thereupon must he, though unwilling, hear, How is this first, if there is nothing afterwards? But when he says that God made matter first formless, then formed, he is not absurd if he be but able to discern what precedes by eternity, what by time, what by choice, what by origin. By eternity, as God is before all things; by time, as the flower is before the fruit; by choice, as the fruit is before the flower; by origin, as sound is before the tune. Of these four, the first and last which I have referred to are with much difficulty understood; the two middle very easily. For an uncommon and too lofty vision it is to behold, O Lord, Your Eternity, immutably making things mutable, and thereby before them. Who is so acute of mind as to be able without great labour to discover how the sound is prior to the tune, because a tune is a formed sound; and a thing not formed may exist, but that which exists not cannot be formed? So is the matter prior to that which is made from it; not prior because it makes it, since itself is rather made, nor is it prior by an interval of time. For we do not as to time first utter formless sounds without singing, and then adapt or fashion them into the form of a song, just as wood or silver from which a chest or vessel is made. Because such materials do by time also precede the forms of the things which are made from them; but in singing this is not so. For when it is sung, its sound is heard at the same time; seeing there is not first a formless sound, which is afterwards formed into a song. For as soon as it shall have first sounded it passes away; nor can you find anything of it, which being recalled you can by art compose. And, therefore, the song is absorbed in its own sound, which sound of it is its matter. Because this same is formed that it may be a tune; and therefore, as I was saying, the matter of the sound is prior to the form of the tune, not before through any power of making it a tune; for neither is a sound the composer of the tune, but is sent forth from the body and is subjected to the soul of the singer, that from it he may form a tune. Nor is it first in time, for it is given forth together with the tune; nor first in choice, for a sound is not better than a tune, since a tune is not merely a sound, but a beautiful sound. But it is first in origin, because the tune is not formed that it may become a sound, but the sound is formed that it may become a tune. By this example, let him who is able understand that the matter of things was first made, and called heaven and earth, because out of it heaven and earth were made. Not that it was made first in time, because the forms of things give rise to time, but that was formless; but now, in time, it is perceived together with its form. Nor yet can anything be related concerning that matter, unless as if it were prior in time, while it is considered last (because things formed are assuredly superior to things formless), and is preceded by the Eternity of the Creator, so that there might be out of nothing that from which something might be made.

In this diversity of genuine opinions, let Truth itself create unity; and may our God have mercy on us, so that we may use the law lawfully, as 1 Timothy 1:8 says, with the goal of the commandment being pure charity. And if anyone asks me, "Which of these was the meaning of Your servant Moses?" and these were not the words of my confessions, would I not confess to You, I do not know? Yet I do know that those opinions are true, except for those carnal ones about which I have already said what I thought appropriate. However, these words of Your Book do not frighten those humble little ones of good hope, who treat great matters in a simple way, and handle a few things in various ways. But let all of us, whom I recognize as seeing and speaking the truth in these words, love one another, and equally love You, our God, fountain of truth—if we do not thirst for empty things, but for truth itself. Yes, let us honor this servant of Yours, the steward of this Scripture, full of Your Spirit, by believing that when You revealed Yourself to him and he wrote these things, he intended what most excels in them both for the light of truth and for fruitfulness of benefit.

41. In this diversity of true opinions let Truth itself beget concord; and may our God have mercy upon us, that we may use the law lawfully, 1 Timothy 1:8 the end of the commandment, pure charity. And by this if any one asks of me, Which of these was the meaning of Your servant Moses? these were not the utterances of my confessions, should I not confess unto You, I know not; and yet I know that those opinions are true, with the exception of those carnal ones concerning which I have spoken what I thought well. However, these words of Your Book affright not those little ones of good hope, treating few of high things in a humble fashion, and few things in varied ways. But let all, whom I acknowledge to see and speak the truth in these words, love one another, and equally love You, our God, fountain of truth — if we thirst not for vain things, but for it; yea, let us so honour this servant of Yours, the dispenser of this Scripture, full of Your Spirit, as to believe that when You revealed Yourself to him, and he wrote these things, he intended that which in them chiefly excels both for light of truth and fruitfulness of profit.

When one person says, "Moses meant what I think," and another says, "No, he meant what I think," I believe I speak more reverently when I say, "Why not both, if both are true?" And if there is a third truth, or a fourth, and if anyone finds any entirely different truth in those words, why should we not believe that Moses saw all of these? After all, the one God shaped the Holy Scriptures through him to speak to the understanding of many people who would see true but different things in them. I certainly—and I declare this fearlessly from my heart—if I were writing something meant to have the highest authority, I would prefer to write in such a way that whatever truth anyone might grasp about these matters would be reflected in my words, rather than stating one true interpretation so plainly that I would exclude other interpretations, as long as any falsehood in them would not trouble me. Therefore, O my God, I am unwilling to be so stubborn as to refuse to believe that You gave this man Moses such great insight. Surely, when he wrote those words, he perceived and thought whatever truth we have been able to discover, and indeed whatever we have not been able to discover, nor are yet able to discover, though it may still be found in them.

42. Thus, when one shall say, He [ Moses] meant as I do, and another, Nay, but as I do, I suppose that I am speaking more religiously when I say, Why not rather as both, if both be true? And if there be a third truth, or a fourth, and if any one seek any truth altogether different in those words, why may not he be believed to have seen all these, through whom one God has tempered the Holy Scriptures to the senses of many, about to see therein things true but different? I certainly — and I fearlessly declare it from my heart — were I to write anything to have the highest authority, should prefer so to write, that whatever of truth any one might apprehend concerning these matters, my words should re-echo, rather than that I should set down one true opinion so clearly on this as that I should exclude the rest, that which was false in which could not offend me. Therefore am I unwilling, O my God, to be so headstrong as not to believe that from You this man [ Moses] has received so much. He, surely, when he wrote those words, perceived and thought whatever of truth we have been able to discover, yea, and whatever we have not been able, nor yet are able, though still it may be found in them.

Finally, Lord, who are God and not flesh and blood, if a human being perceives something less fully, can anything be hidden from Your good Spirit, who will lead me into the land of uprightness? You were going to reveal through those words something to future readers, even though the one who spoke them chose just one meaning among the many interpretations that could have been found. If this is the case, let what he thought be more exalted than the others. But show us, Lord, either that same meaning or any other true one that pleases You. Whether You reveal to us what You showed to that servant of Yours, or something else prompted by the same words, feed us and do not let error deceive us. Look, Lord my God, at how much we have written about just a few words—how much, I ask You! What strength of ours, what span of time would be enough to treat all Your books this way? So permit me to confess to You more briefly in these matters and to choose one true, certain, and good sense that You inspire, even though many senses present themselves—and where many do exist, I may choose. This is the faith of my confession: if I say what Your minister meant, rightly and profitably, I should strive for that. But if I don't achieve it, I may still say what Your Truth wanted to say to me through those words—the same Truth that also said to him what it wanted.

43. Finally, O Lord, who art God, and not flesh and blood, if man does see anything less, can anything lie hidden from Your good Spirit, who shall lead me into the land of uprightness, which You Yourself, by those words, were about to reveal to future readers, although he through whom they were spoken, amid the many interpretations that might have been found, fixed on but one? Which, if it be so, let that which he thought on be more exalted than the rest. But to us, O Lord, either point out the same, or any other true one which may be pleasing unto You; so that whether You make known to us that which You did to that man of Yours, or some other by occasion of the same words, yet You may feed us, not error deceive us. Behold, O Lord my God, how many things we have written concerning a few words — how many, I beseech You! What strength of ours, what ages would suffice for all Your books after this manner? Permit me, therefore, in these more briefly to confess unto You, and to select some one true, certain, and good sense, that You shall inspire, although many senses offer themselves, where many, indeed, I may; this being the faith of my confession, that if I should say that which Your minister felt, rightly and profitably, this I should strive for; the which if I shall not attain, yet I may say that which Your Truth willed through Its words to say unto me, which said also unto him what It willed.

O Lord, since eternity belongs to You, are You unaware of what I am saying to You? Or do You see only at the moment when something happens in time? Why, then, do I set before You so many accounts of things? Certainly not so that You might learn them from me, but so that I may stir up my own love and that of my readers toward You, so that we may all say, Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised. I have already said this, and I will say it again, because I do this for the love of Your love. For we pray even though Truth says, Your Father knows what things you need before you ask Him. Therefore we make our love known to You by confessing to You our own miseries and Your mercies upon us, so that You may free us completely, since You have begun the work, so that we may stop being wretched in ourselves and may be blessed in You; since You have called us to be poor in spirit, and meek, and mourners, and hungering and thirsting after righteousness, and merciful, and pure in heart, and peacemakers. Look, I have told You many things, as many as I could and as I wished, because You first wanted me to confess to You, the Lord my God, for You are good, since Your mercy endures forever.

1. O Lord, since eternity is Yours, are You ignorant of the things which I say unto You? Or see Thou at the time that which comes to pass in time? Why, therefore, do I place before You so many relations of things? Not surely that You might know them through me, but that I may awaken my own love and that of my readers towards You, that we may all say, Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised. I have already said, and shall say, for the love of Your love do I this. For we also pray, and yet Truth says, Your Father knows what things you have need of before you ask Him. Matthew 6:8 Therefore do we make known unto You our love, in confessing unto You our own miseries and Your mercies upon us, that You may free us altogether, since You have begun, that we may cease to be wretched in ourselves, and that we may be blessed in You; since You have called us, that we may be poor in spirit, and meek, and mourners, and hungering and thirsty after righteousness, and merciful, and pure in heart, and peacemakers. Matthew 5:3-9 Behold, I have told unto You many things, which I could and which I would, for You first would have me confess unto You, the Lord my God, for You are good, since Your mercy endures forever.

But when will I be able with my writing to express all your exhortations, all your warnings, comforts, and guidance by which you have led me to preach your Word and administer your Sacrament to your people? And even if I am able to express these things in order, every moment of time is precious to me. I have long burned to meditate on your law, and in it to confess to you my knowledge and my ignorance, the beginning of your enlightening and the remnants of my darkness, until weakness is swallowed up by strength. And I do not want those hours to be spent on anything else—those hours I find free from the necessities of refreshing my body, the care of my mind, and the service we owe to others, and which, though we do not owe it, we still render.

2. But when shall I suffice with the tongue of my pen to express all Your exhortations, and all Your terrors, and comforts, and guidances, whereby You have led me to preach Your Word and to dispense Your Sacrament unto Your people? And if I suffice to utter these things in order, the drops of time are dear to me. Long time have I burned to meditate in Your law, and in it to confess to You my knowledge and ignorance, the beginning of Your enlightening, and the remains of my darkness, until infirmity be swallowed up by strength. And I would not that to anything else those hours should flow away, which I find free from the necessities of refreshing my body, and the care of my mind, and of the service which we owe to men, and which, though we owe not, even yet we pay.

Lord my God, hear my prayer, and let Your mercy look upon my longing, which does not burn for myself alone but desires to serve brotherly love. You see into my heart that this is true. I want to offer You the service of my thoughts and words. Give me what I need to offer You. I am poor and needy, but You are rich to all who call on You, and though You are free from care, You care for us. Cut away all rashness and all lies from my inner and outer lips. Let Your Scriptures be my pure delights. Do not let me be deceived by them or use them to deceive others. Lord, hear and have mercy, Lord my God, light of the blind and strength of the weak, and also light of those who see and strength of the strong. Listen to my soul and hear it crying from the depths. If Your ears are not present even in the depths, where can we go? Where can we cry out? The day is Yours, and the night is Yours too. At Your command the moments fly past. Grant us time within this for our meditations on the hidden things of Your law, and do not close it against us who knock. You did not will that the obscure secrets of so many pages should be written in vain. Those forests do have their deer who take refuge there, wandering, walking, feeding, lying down, and chewing the cud. Make me complete, Lord, and reveal these things to me. Your voice is my joy; Your voice surpasses the abundance of pleasures. Give me what I love, for I do love, and this You have given. Do not abandon Your own gifts or despise Your grass that thirsts. Let me confess to You whatever I find in Your books. Let me hear the voice of praise, and let me drink You in and meditate on the wonderful things of Your law, from the beginning when You made the heaven and the earth to the everlasting kingdom of Your holy city that is with You.

3. O Lord my God, hear my prayer, and let Your mercy regard my longing, since it burns not for myself alone, but because it desires to benefit brotherly charity; and You see into my heart, that so it is. I would sacrifice to You the service of my thought and tongue; and do Thou give what I may offer unto You. For I am poor and needy, Thou rich unto all that call upon You, Romans 10:12 who free from care carest for us. Circumcise from all rashness and from all lying my inward and outward lips. Exodus 6:12 Let Your Scriptures be my chaste delights. Neither let me be deceived in them, nor deceive out of them. Lord, hear and pity, O Lord my God, light of the blind, and strength of the weak; even also light of those that see, and strength of the strong, hearken unto my soul, and hear it crying out of the depths. For unless Your ears be present in the depths also, whither shall we go? Whither shall we cry? The day is Yours, and the night also is Yours. At Your nod the moments flee by. Grant thereof space for our meditations among the hidden things of Your law, nor close it against us who knock. For not in vain have You willed that the obscure secret of so many pages should be written. Nor is it that those forests have not their harts, betaking themselves therein, and ranging, and walking, and feeding, lying down, and ruminating. Perfect me, O Lord, and reveal them unto me. Behold, Your voice is my joy, Your voice surpasses the abundance of pleasures. Give that which I love, for I do love; and this have You given. Abandon not Your own gifts, nor despise Your grass that thirsts. Let me confess unto You whatsoever I shall have found in Your books, and let me hear the voice of praise, and let me imbibe You, and reflect on the wonderful things of Your law; even from the beginning, wherein You made the heaven and the earth, unto the everlasting kingdom of Your holy city that is with You.

Lord, have mercy on me and hear my desire. For I believe that it does not concern earthly things, nor gold and silver and precious stones, nor beautiful clothing, nor honors and positions, nor physical pleasures, nor the necessities of the body and this life of our earthly journey—all of which are given to those who seek Your kingdom and Your righteousness. Look, O Lord my God, at what my desire truly is. The unrighteous have told me about their pleasures, but not such as Your law, O Lord. Look at what my desire is. Look, Father, examine and see, and approve; and may it be pleasing in the sight of Your mercy, that I may find grace before You, so that the hidden meanings of Your Word may be opened to me when I knock. I beg this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, the Man of Your right hand, the Son of man, whom You made strong for Yourself, as Your Mediator and ours, through whom You have sought us when we were not seeking You, but sought us so that we might seek You—Your Word through whom You have made all things, including me, Your Only-begotten, through whom You have called the believing people to adoption, including me. I beg You through Him, who sits at Your right hand and intercedes for us, in whom all treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden. I seek Him in Your books. Moses wrote about Him; He says this Himself; the Truth says this.

4. Lord, have mercy on me and hear my desire. For I think that it is not of the earth, nor of gold and silver, and precious stones, nor gorgeous apparel, nor honours and powers, nor the pleasures of the flesh, nor necessaries for the body, and this life of our pilgrimage; all which are added to those that seek Your kingdom and Your righteousness. Matthew 6:33 Behold, O Lord my God, whence is my desire. The unrighteous have told me of delights, but not such as Your law, O Lord. Behold whence is my desire. Behold, Father, look and see, and approve; and let it be pleasing in the sight of Your mercy, that I may find grace before You, that the secret things of Your Word may be opened unto me when I knock. I beseech, by our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, the Man of Your right hand, the Son of man, whom You made strong for Yourself, as Your Mediator and ours, through whom You have sought us, although not seeking You, but sought us that we might seek You, — Your Word through whom You have made all things, John 1:3 and among them me also, Your Only-begotten, through whom You have called to adoption the believing people, and therein me also. I beseech You through Him, who sits at Your right hand, and makes intercession for us, Romans 8:34 in whom are hid all treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:3 Him do I seek in Your books. Of Him did Moses write; John 5:4-6 this says Himself; this says the Truth.

Let me hear and understand how in the beginning You made the heaven and the earth. Moses wrote this; he wrote and departed—passed from here to You. He is not before me now; for if he were, I would hold him and ask him, and I would beg him by You that he would explain these things to me, and I would listen carefully to the sounds coming from his mouth. And if he spoke in the Hebrew tongue, it would strike my senses in vain, and nothing would reach my mind; but if in Latin, I would know what he said. But how would I know whether what he said was true? And even if I knew this, would I know it from him? Truly, within me, within the chamber of my thought, Truth—neither Hebrew, nor Greek, nor Latin, nor barbarian, without the organs of voice and tongue, without the sound of syllables—would say, "He speaks the truth," and I, immediately assured of it, would confidently say to that man of Yours, "You speak the truth." Since, then, I cannot question him, I beg You—You, O Truth, full of whom he spoke truth—You, my God, I beg, forgive my sins; and You, who gave to that servant of Yours the ability to speak these things, grant to me also to understand them.

5. Let me hear and understand how in the beginning Thou made the heaven and the earth. Genesis 1:1 Moses wrote this; he wrote and departed — passed hence from You to You. Nor now is he before me; for if he were I would hold him, and ask him, and would adjure him by You that he would open unto me these things, and I would lend the ears of my body to the sounds bursting forth from his mouth. And should he speak in the Hebrew tongue, in vain would it beat on my senses, nor would anything touch my mind; but if in Latin, I should know what he said. But whence should I know whether he said what was true? But if I knew this even, should I know it from him? Verily within me, within in the chamber of my thought, Truth, neither Hebrew, nor Greek, nor Latin, nor barbarian, without the organs of voice and tongue, without the sound of syllables, would say, He speaks the truth, and I, immediately assured of it, confidently would say unto that man of Yours, You speak the truth. As, then, I cannot inquire of him, I beseech You — You, O Truth, full of whom he spoke truth — You, my God, I beseech, forgive my sins; and do Thou, who gave to that Your servant to speak these things, grant to me also to understand them.

Look, heaven and earth exist, and they declare that they were made, because they change and vary. But anything that has not been made yet still exists contains nothing in it that wasn't there before—that's what it means to change and vary. Heaven and earth also declare that they did not make themselves. Their testimony is this: "We exist because we have been made. We did not exist before we came to be, so we could not have made ourselves." The voice of those who speak is itself proof. Therefore, Lord, you made these things. You are beautiful, and so they are beautiful. You are good, and so they are good. You exist, and so they exist. Yet they are not beautiful, good, or existent in the same way you their Creator are. Compared with you, they are not truly beautiful, not truly good, and do not truly exist at all. We know these things—thanks be to you. And our knowledge, compared with your knowledge, is ignorance.

6. Behold, the heaven and earth are; they proclaim that they were made, for they are changed and varied. Whereas whatsoever has not been made, and yet has being, has nothing in it which there was not before; this is what it is to be changed and varied. They also proclaim that they made not themselves; therefore we are, because we have been made; we were not therefore before we were, so that we could have made ourselves. And the voice of those that speak is in itself an evidence. You, therefore, Lord, made these things; Thou who art beautiful, for they are beautiful; Thou who art good, for they are good; Thou who art, for they are. Nor even so are they beautiful, nor good, nor are they, as Thou their Creator art; compared with whom they are neither beautiful, nor good, nor are at all. These things we know, thanks be to You. And our knowledge, compared with Your knowledge, is ignorance.

But how did you make the heaven and the earth, and what was the instrument of your so mighty work? For you did not work like a human craftsman fashioning body from body, according to the imagination of his mind, somehow able to impose a form which he perceives within himself by his inner eye. And how would he be able to do this, unless you had made that mind? And he imposes a form on something already existing, already having being, whether clay, or stone, or wood, or gold, or the like. And where would these things come from, unless you had provided them? You made the workman's body—you made the mind commanding the limbs—you made the matter from which he makes anything—you made the capacity by which he may grasp his art and see within what he may do outwardly—you made the sense of his body, by which, as through an interpreter, he may transfer from mind to matter what he does, and report back to his mind what has been done, so that his mind within may consult the truth, presiding over itself, whether it has been done well. All these things praise you, the Creator of all. But how do you make them? How, O God, did you make heaven and earth? Truly, you did not make heaven and earth in the heaven or in the earth; nor in the air, nor in the waters, since these also belong to the heaven and the earth; nor in the whole world did you make the whole world, because there was no place where it could be made before it was made, so that it might exist; nor did you hold anything in your hand with which to make heaven and earth. For where could you have obtained what you had not made, with which to make anything? For what exists, except because you are? Therefore you spoke and they were made, and in your Word you made these things.

7. But how did Thou make the heaven and the earth, and what was the instrument of Your so mighty work? For it was not as a human worker fashioning body from body, according to the fancy of his mind, in somewise able to assign a form which it perceives in itself by its inner eye. And whence should he be able to do this, had not Thou made that mind? And he assigns to it already existing, and as it were having a being, a form, as clay, or stone, or wood, or gold, or such like. And whence should these things be, had not Thou appointed them? Thou made for the workman his body — Thou the mind commanding the limbs — Thou the matter whereof he makes anything, — Thou the capacity whereby he may apprehend his art, and see within what he may do without — Thou the sense of his body, by which, as by an interpreter, he may from mind unto matter convey that which he does, and report to his mind what may have been done, that it within may consult the truth, presiding over itself, whether it be well done. All these things praise You, the Creator of all. But how do You make them? How, O God, did Thou make heaven and earth? Truly, neither in the heaven nor in the earth did Thou make heaven and earth; nor in the air, nor in the waters, since these also belong to the heaven and the earth; nor in the whole world did Thou make the whole world; because there was no place wherein it could be made before it was made, that it might be; nor did Thou hold anything in Your hand wherewith to make heaven and earth. For whence could You have what You had not made, whereof to make anything? For what is, save because You are? Therefore You spoke and they were made, and in Your Word You made these things.

But how did you speak? Was it in the same way the voice came from the cloud, saying, "This is my beloved Son"? For that voice was spoken and passed away, it began and ended. The syllables sounded and went by, the second after the first, the third after the second, and so on in sequence, until the last after the rest, and silence after the last. From this it is clear and obvious that the motion of a creature expressed it, a motion that was itself temporal, obeying your eternal will. And these words of yours formed at that time were conveyed by the outer ear to the intelligent mind, whose inner ear was listening attentively to your eternal word. But the mind compared these words sounding in time with your eternal word in silence, and said, "It is different, very different. These words are far beneath me, and they are not truly real, since they flee and pass away; but the Word of my Lord remains above me forever." If, then, you spoke in sounding and fleeting words that heaven and earth should be made, and by this made heaven and earth, there was already a bodily creature before heaven and earth, through whose temporal movements that voice might take its course in time. But there was nothing bodily before heaven and earth; or if there was, certainly you without a passing voice had created that from which you would make the passing voice by which to say that heaven and earth should be made. For whatever that thing was from which such a voice was made, unless it was made by you, it could not exist at all. By what word of yours was it decreed that a body might be made through which these words might be made?

8. But how did Thou speak? Was it in that manner in which the voice came from the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son? Matthew 17:5 For that voice was uttered and passed away, began and ended. The syllables sounded and passed by, the second after the first, the third after the second, and thence in order, until the last after the rest, and silence after the last. Hence it is clear and plain that the motion of a creature expressed it, itself temporal, obeying Your Eternal will. And these your words formed at the time, the outer ear conveyed to the intelligent mind, whose inner ear lay attentive to Your eternal word. But it compared these words sounding in time with Your eternal word in silence, and said, It is different, very different. These words are far beneath me, nor are they, since they flee and pass away; but the Word of my Lord remains above me forever. If, then, in sounding and fleeting words Thou said that heaven and earth should be made, and thus made heaven and earth, there was already a corporeal creature before heaven and earth by whose temporal motions that voice might take its course in time. But there was nothing corporeal before heaven and earth; or if there were, certainly Thou without a transitory voice had created that whence You would make the passing voice, by which to say that the heaven and the earth should be made. For whatsoever that were of which such a voice was made, unless it were made by You, it could not be at all. By what word of Yours was it decreed that a body might be made, whereby these words might be made?

You call us, therefore, to understand the Word, God with You, God, which is spoken eternally, and by it all things are spoken eternally. For what was spoken was not finished so that another thing could be spoken until all were spoken; rather, all things are spoken at once and forever. For otherwise we would have time and change, and not a true eternity nor a true immortality. This I know, O my God, and give thanks. I know, I confess to You, O Lord, and whoever is not unthankful to certain truth knows and blesses You with me. We know, O Lord, we know: to the extent that anything is not what it was, and is what it was not, to that extent it dies and arises. Therefore, nothing of Your Word gives place and comes into place again, because it is truly immortal and eternal. And therefore, to the Word co-eternal with You, You say at once and forever all that You say; and whatever You say shall be made, is made. Nor do You make otherwise than by speaking; yet not all things which You make by speaking are made both together and everlasting.

9. You call us, therefore, to understand the Word, God with You, God, John 1:1 which is spoken eternally, and by it are all things spoken eternally. For what was spoken was not finished, and another spoken until all were spoken; but all things at once and forever. For otherwise have we time and change, and not a true eternity, nor a true immortality. This I know, O my God, and give thanks. I know, I confess to You, O Lord, and whosoever is not unthankful to certain truth, knows and blesses You with me. We know, O Lord, we know; since in proportion as anything is not what it was, and is what it was not, in that proportion does it die and arise. Not anything, therefore, of Your Word gives place and comes into place again, because it is truly immortal and eternal. And, therefore, unto the Word co-eternal with You, You at once and for ever say all that You say; and whatever You say shall be made, is made; nor do You make otherwise than by speaking; yet all things are not made both together and everlasting which You make by speaking.

Why is this, I ask You, O Lord my God? I see it, but I don't know how to express it, except that everything which begins to exist and ceases to exist begins and ceases when in Your eternal Reason it is known that it ought to begin or cease—where nothing begins or ceases. This same eternal Reason is Your Word, which is also the Beginning, because It also speaks to us. So in the gospel He speaks through the flesh, and this sounded outwardly in people's ears so that it might be believed and sought inwardly, and so that it might be found in the eternal Truth, where the good and only Master teaches all His disciples. There, O Lord, I hear Your voice, the voice of one speaking to me, since He who teaches us speaks to us. But someone who does not teach us, even though he speaks, does not speak to us. Moreover, who teaches us except the immutable Truth? For even when we are instructed through a changeable creature, we are led to the immutable Truth. There we truly learn while we stand and hear Him, and rejoice greatly because of the Bridegroom's voice, restoring us to that from which we came. And therefore, the Beginning—because unless It remained, there would not be anywhere for us to return to when we have strayed. But when we return from error, it is by knowing that we return. And so that we may know, He teaches us, because He is the Beginning and speaks to us.

10. Why is this, I beseech You, O Lord my God? I see it, however; but how I shall express it, I know not, unless that everything which begins to be and ceases to be, then begins and ceases when in Your eternal Reason it is known that it ought to begin or cease where nothing begins or ceases. The same is Your Word, which is also the Beginning, because also It speaks unto us. Thus, in the gospel He speaks through the flesh; and this sounded outwardly in the ears of men, that it might be believed and sought inwardly, and that it might be found in the eternal Truth, where the good and only Master teaches all His disciples. There, O Lord, I hear Your voice, the voice of one speaking unto me, since He speaks unto us who teaches us. But He that teaches us not, although He speaks, speaks not to us. Moreover, who teaches us, unless it be the immutable Truth? For even when we are admonished through a changeable creature, we are led to the Truth immutable. There we learn truly while we stand and hear Him, and rejoice greatly because of the Bridegroom's voice, John 3:29 restoring us to that whence we are. And, therefore, the Beginning, because unless It remained, there would not, where we strayed, be whither to return. But when we return from error, it is by knowing that we return. But that we may know, He teaches us, because He is the Beginning and speaks unto us.

In this Beginning, O God, You have made heaven and earth—in Your Word, in Your Son, in Your Power, in Your Wisdom, in Your Truth, speaking wondrously and making wondrously. Who can comprehend this? Who can explain it? What is this that shines through me and strikes my heart without harming it, making me both shudder and burn? I shudder because I am unlike it, and I burn because I am like it. It is Wisdom itself that shines through me, clearing away my cloudiness, which then overwhelms me again as I grow faint from it, in the darkness and weight of my punishment. For my strength is brought down by need, so that I cannot endure my blessings, until You, O Lord, who have been gracious to all my sins, also heal all my weaknesses; for You will redeem my life from corruption and crown me with Your loving-kindness and mercy, and You will satisfy my desire with good things, so that my youth will be renewed like the eagle's. For we are saved by hope, and through patience we wait for Your promises. Let whoever is able hear You speaking within. I will cry out with confidence from Your oracle: How wonderful are Your works, O Lord; in Wisdom You have made them all. And this Wisdom is the Beginning, and in that Beginning You have made heaven and earth.

11. In this Beginning, O God, have You made heaven and earth — in Your Word, in Your Son, in Your Power, in Your Wisdom, in Your Truth, wondrously speaking and wondrously making. Who shall comprehend? Who shall relate it? What is that which shines through me, and strikes my heart without injury, and I both shudder and burn? I shudder inasmuch as I am unlike it; and I burn inasmuch as I am like it. It is Wisdom itself that shines through me, clearing my cloudiness, which again overwhelms me, fainting from it, in the darkness and amount of my punishment. For my strength is brought down in need, so that I cannot endure my blessings, until Thou, O Lord, who hast been gracious to all mine iniquities, heal also all mine infirmities; because You shall also redeem my life from corruption, and crown me with Your loving-kindness and mercy, and shall satisfy my desire with good things, because my youth shall be renewed like the eagle's. For by hope we are saved; and through patience we await Your promises. Romans 8:24-25 Let him that is able hear You discoursing within. I will with confidence cry out from Your oracle, How wonderful are Your works, O Lord, in Wisdom have You made them all. And this Wisdom is the Beginning, and in that Beginning have You made heaven and earth.

Look, aren't they full of their old errors, those who ask us, What was God doing before He made heaven and earth? For if, they say, He was idle and doing nothing, why doesn't He also forever, and from now on, stop working, just as He did in the past? For if any new movement has come about in God, and a new will, to make a creature which He had never made before, how can that be true eternity where a will arises that did not exist before? For the will of God is not a creature, but exists before the creature; because nothing could be created unless the will of the Creator existed before it. The will of God, therefore, belongs to His very Substance. But if anything has come about in the Substance of God that did not exist before, that Substance cannot truly be called eternal. But if it was the eternal will of God that the creature should exist, why was the creature not also eternal?

12. Lo, are they not full of their ancient way, who say to us, What was God doing before He made heaven and earth? For if, say they, He were unoccupied, and did nothing, why does He not for ever also, and from henceforth, cease from working, as in times past He did? For if any new motion has arisen in God, and a new will, to form a creature which He had never before formed, however can that be a true eternity where there arises a will which was not before? For the will of God is not a creature, but before the creature; because nothing could be created unless the will of the Creator were before it. The will of God, therefore, pertains to His very Substance. But if anything has arisen in the Substance of God which was not before, that Substance is not truly called eternal. But if it was the eternal will of God that the creature should be, why was not the creature also from eternity?

Those who say these things do not yet understand You, O Wisdom of God, Light of souls. They do not yet understand how the things that are made by and in You come to be. They even try to comprehend eternal things, but their heart still flies about in the past and future movements of things and remains wavering. Who will hold it and fix it so that it may rest a little and gradually grasp the glory of that ever-standing eternity, and compare it with the times that never stand still, and see that there is no comparison? Who will help them see that a long time cannot become long except from the many movements that pass by, which cannot be extended all at the same instant, but that in the Eternal nothing passes away—rather, the whole is present—while no time is wholly present? And who will let them see that all past time is driven forward by the future, and all the future follows from the past, and that all things, both past and future, are created and flow from that which is always present? Who will hold the heart of a person so that it may stand still and see how the eternally-standing eternity, itself neither future nor past, brings forth the times future and past? Can my hand accomplish this, or can the hand of my mouth through persuasion bring about something so great?

13. Those who say these things do not as yet understand You, O Thou Wisdom of God, Thou light of souls; not as yet do they understand how these things be made which are made by and in You. They even endeavour to comprehend things eternal; but as yet their heart flies about in the past and future motions of things, and is still wavering. Who shall hold it and fix it, that it may rest a little, and by degrees catch the glory of that everstanding eternity, and compare it with the times which never stand, and see that it is incomparable; and that a long time cannot become long, save from the many motions that pass by, which cannot at the same instant be prolonged; but that in the Eternal nothing passes away, but that the whole is present; but no time is wholly present; and let him see that all time past is forced on by the future, and that all the future follows from the past, and that all, both past and future, is created and issues from that which is always present? Who will hold the heart of man, that it may stand still, and see how the still-standing eternity, itself neither future nor past, utters the times future and past? Can my hand accomplish this, or the hand of my mouth by persuasion bring about a thing so great?

Here, I answer the person who asks, "What was God doing before He made heaven and earth?" I do not answer as a certain person is reported to have done jokingly (dodging the force of the question), "He was preparing hell," he says, "for those who pry into mysteries." It is one thing to understand, another to laugh—I do not answer in these ways. For I would more willingly have answered, "I do not know what I do not know," than make the one who asks profound questions into a laughingstock and gain praise as someone who answers falsely. But I say that You, our God, are the Creator of every creature; and if by the term "heaven and earth" every creature is meant, I boldly say that before God made heaven and earth, He made nothing. For if He did, what did He make except the creature? And I wish I knew whatever I desire to know for my benefit, as surely as I know that no creature was made before any creature was made.

14. Behold, I answer to him who asks, What was God doing before He made heaven and earth? I answer not, as a certain person is reported to have done facetiously (avoiding the pressure of the question), He was preparing hell, says he, for those who pry into mysteries. It is one thing to perceive, another to laugh — these things I answer not. For more willingly would I have answered, I know not what I know not, than that I should make him a laughing-stock who asks deep things, and gain praise as one who answers false things. But I say that Thou, our God, art the Creator of every creature; and if by the term heaven and earth every creature is understood, I boldly say, That before God made heaven and earth, He made not anything. For if He did, what did He make unless the creature? And would that I knew whatever I desire to know to my advantage, as I know that no creature was made before any creature was made.

But if someone's wandering thoughts roam through images of past time, and they wonder why You, the Almighty God, the Creator and Sustainer of all, the Architect of heaven and earth, held back from such a great work for countless ages before You made it, let that person wake up and realize he is wondering about false things. For how could countless ages pass by that You did not make, since You are the Author and Creator of all ages? Or what times could those be that were not made by You? Or how could they pass by if they had never existed? Therefore, since You are the Creator of all times, if any time existed before You made heaven and earth, why would anyone say that You held back from working? For You made that very time itself, and times could not pass by before You made times. But if there was no time before heaven and earth, why does anyone ask, "What were You doing then?" For there was no "then" when time did not exist.

15. But if the roving thought of any one should wander through the images of bygone time, and wonder that You, the God Almighty, and All-creating, and All-sustaining, the Architect of heaven and earth, for innumerable ages refrained from so great a work before You would make it, let him awake and consider that he wonders at false things. For whence could innumerable ages pass by which You did not make, since You are the Author and Creator of all ages? Or what times should those be which were not made by You? Or how should they pass by if they had not been? Since, therefore, You are the Creator of all times, if any time was before You made heaven and earth, why is it said that You refrained from working? For that very time You made, nor could times pass by before You made times. But if before heaven and earth there was no time, why is it asked, What were You doing then? For there was no then when time was not.

You do not precede time by means of time; otherwise You would not precede all times. Rather, in the excellence of an eternally present eternity, You precede all past times and outlast all future times, because they are future, and when they arrive they will be past. But You are the same, and Your years will have no end. Your years neither come nor go, but ours both come and go so that all of them may come in succession. All Your years exist simultaneously because they stand together. They are not pushed out by arriving years as departing years leave, because they do not pass away. But all our years will only exist completely when they all cease to exist. Your years are one day, and Your day is not a daily occurrence but today—because Your today does not give way to tomorrow, nor does it follow yesterday. Your today is eternity. Therefore You fathered the Co-eternal One, to whom You said, "This day I have begotten You." You made all time, and before all times You exist, nor was there any time when time did not exist.

16. Nor dost Thou by time precede time; else would not Thou precede all times. But in the excellency of an ever-present eternity, Thou precedest all times past, and survivest all future times, because they are future, and when they have come they will be past; but You are the same, and Your years shall have no end. Your years neither go nor come; but ours both go and come, that all may come. All Your years stand at once since they do stand; nor were they when departing excluded by coming years, because they pass not away; but all these of ours shall be when all shall cease to be. Your years are one day, and Your day is not daily, but today; because Your today yields not with tomorrow, for neither does it follow yesterday. Your today is eternity; therefore You begot the Co- eternal, to whom You said, This day have I begotten You. You have made all time; and before all times You are, nor in any time was there not time.

At no time, therefore, had You not made anything, because You had made time itself. And no times are co-eternal with You, because You remain forever; but if these times were to continue, they would not be times. For what is time? Who can easily and briefly explain it? Who can even grasp it in thought well enough to speak a word about it? But what do we refer to more familiarly and knowingly in our speech than time? And we certainly understand it when we speak of it; we also understand it when we hear another person speak of it. What, then, is time? If no one asks me, I know; if I want to explain it to someone who asks, I do not know. Yet I say with confidence that I know this: if nothing passed away, there would be no past time; and if nothing were coming, there would be no future time; and if nothing existed, there would be no present time. Those two times, therefore, past and future, how do they exist, when the past no longer is and the future is not yet? But if the present were always present and did not pass into past time, it truly could not be time, but eternity. If, then, the present time—if it is to be time—only comes into existence because it passes into past time, how can we say that even this exists, when its cause of being is that it will not be—namely, so that we cannot truly say that time exists, except because it tends toward non-being?

17. At no time, therefore, had Thou not made anything, because You had made time itself. And no times are co-eternal with You, because You remain for ever; but should these continue, they would not be times. For what is time? Who can easily and briefly explain it? Who even in thought can comprehend it, even to the pronouncing of a word concerning it? But what in speaking do we refer to more familiarly and knowingly than time? And certainly we understand when we speak of it; we understand also when we hear it spoken of by another. What, then, is time? If no one ask of me, I know; if I wish to explain to him who asks, I know not. Yet I say with confidence, that I know that if nothing passed away, there would not be past time; and if nothing were coming, there would not be future time; and if nothing were, there would not be present time. Those two times, therefore, past and future, how are they, when even the past now is not; and the future is not as yet? But should the present be always present, and should it not pass into time past, time truly it could not be, but eternity. If, then, time present — if it be time — only comes into existence because it passes into time past, how do we say that even this is, whose cause of being is that it shall not be — namely, so that we cannot truly say that time is, unless because it tends not to be?

And yet we say that time is long and time is short, but we only speak this way about past and future time. For example, we call a hundred years ago a long time past, and similarly, a hundred years from now a long time to come. But we call ten days ago a short time past, and ten days from now a short time to come. But in what sense is something long or short when it doesn't exist? For the past no longer exists, and the future doesn't exist yet. So let us not say "It is long," but rather let us say of the past "It was long," and of the future "It will be long." O my Lord, my light, won't even here Your truth mock man? For that past time which was long—was it long when it had already become past, or when it was still present? It could only be long when there was something that could be long, but once it became past it no longer existed. Therefore what didn't exist at all couldn't be long. So let us not say "Past time was long," because we won't find anything that could have been long, since once it became past it no longer exists. Instead, let us say that present time was long, because when it was present it was long. For it had not yet passed away into non-existence, and therefore there was something that could be long. But after it passed, it also ceased to be long because it ceased to exist.

18. And yet we say that time is long and time is short; nor do we speak of this save of time past and future. A long time past, for example, we call a hundred years ago; in like manner a long time to come, a hundred years hence. But a short time past we call, say, ten days ago: and a short time to come, ten days hence. But in what sense is that long or short which is not? For the past is not now, and the future is not yet. Therefore let us not say, It is long; but let us say of the past, It has been long, and of the future, It will be long. O my Lord, my light, shall not even here Your truth deride man? For that past time which was long, was it long when it was already past, or when it was as yet present? For then it might be long when there was that which could be long, but when past it no longer was; wherefore that could not be long which was not at all. Let us not, therefore, say, Time past has been long; for we shall not find what may have been long, seeing that since it was past it is not; but let us say that present time was long, because when it was present it was long. For it had not as yet passed away so as not to be, and therefore there was that which could be long. But after it passed, that ceased also to be long which ceased to be.

Let us therefore see, O human soul, whether present time can be long; for it is given to you to perceive and to measure periods of time. What will you reply to me? Is a hundred years when present a long time? See, first, whether a hundred years can be present. For if the first year of these is happening now, that is present, but the other ninety-nine are future, and therefore they do not yet exist. But if the second year is happening now, one is already past, the other present, the rest future. And so, if we fix on any middle year of this hundred as present, those before it are past, those after it are future; therefore a hundred years cannot be present. See at least whether that year itself which is current can be present. For if its first month is current, the rest are future; if the second, the first has already passed, and the remainder are not yet. Therefore the year which is current is not wholly present as a whole; and if it is not present as a whole, then the year is not present. For twelve months make the year, of which each individual month which is current is itself present, but the rest are either past or future. Yet that month which is current is not present either, but only one day: if the first, the rest being to come, if the last, the rest being past; if any of the middle days, then it is between past and future.

19. Let us therefore see, O human soul, whether present time can be long; for to you is it given to perceive and to measure periods of time. What will you reply to me? Is a hundred years when present a long time? See, first, whether a hundred years can be present. For if the first year of these is current, that is present, but the other ninety and nine are future, and therefore they are not as yet. But if the second year is current, one is already past, the other present, the rest future. And thus, if we fix on any middle year of this hundred as present, those before it are past, those after it are future; wherefore a hundred years cannot be present. See at least whether that year itself which is current can be present. For if its first month be current, the rest are future; if the second, the first has already passed, and the remainder are not yet. Therefore neither is the year which is current as a whole present; and if it is not present as a whole, then the year is not present. For twelve months make the year, of which each individual month which is current is itself present, but the rest are either past or future. Although neither is that month which is current present, but one day only: if the first, the rest being to come, if the last, the rest being past; if any of the middle, then between past and future.

Look, the present time—which we found is the only time that can really be called long—is actually cut down to barely the space of one day. But let's examine even that one day more carefully, because not even a single day exists as a whole in the present. A day is made up of twenty-four hours of night and day. The first hour has all the rest still in the future, the last hour has all the rest in the past, and any hour in between has the hours before it in the past and the hours after it in the future. And even that one hour passes away in fleeting fragments. Whatever part of it has flown by is past, and whatever remains is future. If we imagine any portion of time that cannot be divided any further—not even into the tiniest particles of moments—only that would be what we can call present. Yet even this flies so rapidly from future to past that it cannot be stretched out by any delay. For if it were stretched out, it would be divided into past and future, but the present has no extension. So where is the time that we can call long? Is it in the future? We don't say, "It is long," because it doesn't exist yet to be long. Instead we say, "It will be long." When will it be long, then? Even when that time arrives, since it's still future, it won't be long because what could be long doesn't exist yet. It will only be long when it has already begun to exist—when it has emerged from the future, which doesn't yet exist, and has become present so that there is actually something that can be long. But then the present time itself cries out in the words above that it cannot be long.

20. Behold, the present time, which alone we found could be called long, is abridged to the space scarcely of one day. But let us discuss even that, for there is not one day present as a whole. For it is made up of four-and-twenty hours of night and day, whereof the first has the rest future, the last has them past, but any one of the intervening has those before it past, those after it future. And that one hour passes away in fleeting particles. Whatever of it has flown away is past, whatever remains is future. If any portion of time be conceived which cannot now be divided into even the minutest particles of moments, this only is that which may be called present; which, however, flies so rapidly from future to past, that it cannot be extended by any delay. For if it be extended, it is divided into the past and future; but the present has no space. Where, therefore, is the time which we may call long? Is it nature? Indeed we do not say, It is long, because it is not yet, so as to be long; but we say, It will be long. When, then, will it be? For if even then, since as yet it is future, it will not be long, because what may be long is not as yet; but it shall be long, when from the future, which as yet is not, it shall already have begun to be, and will have become present, so that there could be that which may be long; then does the present time cry out in the words above that it cannot be long.

And yet, Lord, we do perceive intervals of time, and we compare them with each other, and we say some are longer and others shorter. We even measure how much shorter or longer this time is than that one, and we answer that this one is double or triple, while that one is single, or only as much as that. But we measure times as they are passing when we measure them by perceiving them. But past times, which no longer exist, or future times, which do not yet exist—who can measure them? Unless perhaps someone will dare to say that what does not exist can be measured. Therefore, when time is passing, it can be perceived and measured. But when it has passed, it cannot be measured, since it no longer exists.

21. And yet, O Lord, we perceive intervals of times, and we compare them with themselves, and we say some are longer, others shorter. We even measure by how much shorter or longer this time may be than that; and we answer, That this is double or treble, while that is but once, or only as much as that. But we measure times passing when we measure them by perceiving them; but past times, which now are not, or future times, which as yet are not, who can measure them? Unless, perchance, any one will dare to say, that that can be measured which is not. When, therefore, time is passing, it can be perceived and measured; but when it has passed, it cannot, since it is not.

I ask, Father, I do not make assertions. O my God, rule and guide me. Who can tell me that there are not three times (as we learned as boys and taught to boys)—the past, present, and future—but only the present, because the other two do not exist? Or do they also exist; but when the future becomes present, does it come forth from some hidden place, and when the present becomes past, does it withdraw into some hidden place? For where did those who have predicted future things see these things, if they do not yet exist? For what does not exist cannot be seen. And those who describe past things could not describe them as true if they did not perceive them in their mind. If these things did not exist, they could not be perceived at all. Therefore, both future and past things do exist.

2. I ask, Father, I do not affirm. O my God, rule and guide me. Who is there who can say to me that there are not three times (as we learned when boys, and as we have taught boys), the past, present, and future, but only present, because these two are not? Or are they also; but when from future it becomes present, comes it forth from some secret place, and when from the present it becomes past, does it retire into anything secret? For where have they, who have foretold future things, seen these things, if as yet they are not? For that which is not cannot be seen. And they who relate things past could not relate them as true, did they not perceive them in their mind. Which things, if they were not, they could in no way be discerned. There are therefore things both future and past.

Allow me, Lord, to search further; my Hope, do not let my purpose fail. For if past and future times exist, I want to know where they are. But even if I cannot yet succeed in this, I still know that wherever they are, they do not exist there as future or past, but as present. For if they are future even there, they do not yet exist there; if they are past even there, they no longer exist there. Therefore, wherever they are, whatever they are, they exist only as present. Although past events are recounted as true, they are drawn out from memory—not the actual events themselves, which have passed, but words formed from images of those events that were imprinted in the mind as footprints during their passage through the senses. My childhood, which no longer exists, belongs to past time, which now does not exist; but when I recall its image and speak of it, I see it in the present, because it still exists in my memory. Whether there is a similar explanation for predicting future things—that images of things which do not yet exist may be perceived as already existing—I confess, my God, I do not know. This much I certainly know: we generally plan our future actions beforehand, and this planning is present; but the action we are planning does not yet exist, because it is future. When we actually begin and start doing what we were planning, then that action will exist, because then it will not be future, but present.

23. Allow me, O Lord, to seek further; O my Hope, let not my purpose be confounded. For if there are times past and future, I desire to know where they are. But if as yet I do not succeed, I still know, wherever they are, that they are not there as future or past, but as present. For if there also they be future, they are not as yet there; if even there they be past, they are no longer there. Wheresoever, therefore, they are, whatsoever they are, they are only so as present. Although past things are related as true, they are drawn out from the memory, — not the things themselves, which have passed, but the words conceived from the images of the things which they have formed in the mind as footprints in their passage through the senses. My childhood, indeed, which no longer is, is in time past, which now is not; but when I call to mind its image, and speak of it, I behold it in the present, because it is as yet in my memory. Whether there be a like cause of foretelling future things, that of things which as yet are not the images may be perceived as already existing, I confess, my God, I know not. This certainly I know, that we generally think before on our future actions, and that this premeditation is present; but that the action whereon we premeditate is not yet, because it is future; which when we shall have entered upon, and have begun to do that which we were premeditating, then shall that action be, because then it is not future, but present.

However this mysterious foreknowledge of future things works, nothing can be seen except what exists now. But what exists now is not future—it's present. So when people say they see future things, they're not actually seeing the things themselves, which don't yet exist (that is, which are future). Rather, they're probably seeing their causes or signs, which already exist. Therefore, for those who are looking at them, these causes or signs are not future but present, and from them future things are conceived in the mind and predicted. These mental conceptions also exist now, and those who make predictions see these present conceptions before them. Let me use an example from this wide variety of things. I see the dawn and predict that the sun is about to rise. What I see is present; what I predict is future—not that the sun itself is future, since it already exists, but its rising, which hasn't happened yet. Yet I couldn't even predict its rising unless I had a mental image of it, which I have now as I speak. But the dawn I see in the sky is not the sun's rising, though it comes before it, nor is it the mental image in my mind. Both of these are seen as present, so that the other thing, which is future, can be predicted. Future things do not yet exist, and if they don't yet exist, they don't exist at all. And if they don't exist, they cannot be seen. But they can be predicted from present things, which exist now and are seen.

24. In whatever manner, therefore, this secret preconception of future things may be, nothing can be seen, save what is. But what now is is not future, but present. When, therefore, they say that things future are seen, it is not themselves, which as yet are not (that is, which are future); but their causes or their signs perhaps are seen, the which already are. Therefore, to those already beholding them, they are not future, but present, from which future things conceived in the mind are foretold. Which conceptions again now are, and they who foretell those things behold these conceptions present before them. Let now so multitudinous a variety of things afford me some example. I behold daybreak; I foretell that the sun is about to rise. That which I behold is present; what I foretell is future — not that the sun is future, which already is; but his rising, which is not yet. Yet even its rising I could not predict unless I had an image of it in my mind, as now I have while I speak. But that dawn which I see in the sky is not the rising of the sun, although it may go before it, nor that imagination in my mind; which two are seen as present, that the other which is future may be foretold. Future things, therefore, are not as yet; and if they are not as yet, they are not. And if they are not, they cannot be seen at all; but they can be foretold from things present which now are, and are seen.

You, therefore, Ruler of Your creatures, what is the method by which You teach souls those things which are future? For You have taught Your prophets. What is that way by which You, to whom nothing is future, teach future things—or rather, teach present things about the future? For what does not exist certainly cannot be taught. This way is too far beyond my understanding; it is too powerful for me, I cannot reach it. But through You I will be enabled to understand, when You have granted it, sweet light of my hidden eyes.

25. You, therefore, Ruler of Your creatures, what is the method by which Thou teachest souls those things which are future? For You have taught Your prophets. What is that way by which Thou, to whom nothing is future, dost teach future things; or rather of future things dost teach present? For what is not, of a certainty cannot be taught. Too far is this way from my view; it is too mighty for me, I cannot attain unto it; but by You I shall be enabled, when You shall have granted it, sweet light of my hidden eyes.

What is now clear and obvious is that neither future nor past things actually exist. Nor is it accurate to say, "There are three times: past, present, and future." Perhaps it would be more accurate to say, "There are three times: a present of past things, a present of present things, and a present of future things." These three do exist somehow in the soul, and I do not see them anywhere else: the present of past things is memory; the present of present things is direct perception; the present of future things is expectation. If we are allowed to speak of these things this way, I see three times, and I acknowledge there are three. One may also say, "There are three times: past, present, and future," as common usage incorrectly does. Look, I do not object, contradict, or criticize, as long as what is said is understood to mean that neither the future nor the past exists now. For there are few things we speak of precisely, and many things we speak of imprecisely, yet what we wish to communicate is still understood.

26. But what now is manifest and clear is, that neither are there future nor past things. Nor is it fitly said, There are three times, past, present and future; but perchance it might be fitly said, There are three times; a present of things past, a present of things present, and a present of things future. For these three do somehow exist in the soul, and otherwise I see them not: present of things past, memory; present of things present, sight; present of things future, expectation. If of these things we are permitted to speak, I see three times, and I grant there are three. It may also be said, There are three times, past, present and future, as usage falsely has it. See, I trouble not, nor gainsay, nor reprove; provided always that which is said may be understood, that neither the future, nor that which is past, now is. For there are but few things which we speak properly, many things improperly; but what we may wish to say is understood.

I have just said, then, that we measure times as they pass, so that we can say this time is twice as long as that one, or this equals that, and so on for any parts of time we can measure. Therefore, as I said, we measure times as they pass. And if someone should ask me, "How do you know?" I can answer: I know because we measure, and we cannot measure things that do not exist; and things past and future do not exist. But how do we measure present time, since it has no extension? It is measured while it passes, but when it has passed, it is not measured, for there will be nothing left to measure. But from where, by what path, and to where does it pass while it is being measured? From where, except from the future? By what path, except through the present? To where, except into the past? Therefore, from that which does not yet exist, through that which has no extension, into that which no longer exists. But what do we measure, if not time in some extension? For we do not speak of single, double, triple, equal, or any other way we speak of time, except in relation to spans of time. In what extension, then, do we measure passing time? Is it in the future, from which it passes? But we do not measure what does not yet exist. Or is it in the present, through which it passes? But we do not measure what has no extension. Or in the past, to which it passes? But we do not measure what no longer exists.

27. I have just now said, then, that we measure times as they pass, that we may be able to say that this time is twice as much as that one, or that this is only as much as that, and so of any other of the parts of time which we are able to tell by measuring. Wherefore, as I said, we measure times as they pass. And if any one should ask me, Whence do you know? I can answer, I know, because we measure; nor can we measure things that are not; and things past and future are not. But how do we measure present time, since it has not space? It is measured while it passes; but when it shall have passed, it is not measured; for there will not be anything that can be measured. But whence, in what way, and whither does it pass while it is being measured? Whence, but from the future? Which way, save through the present? Whither, but into the past? From that, therefore, which as yet is not, through that which has no space, into that which now is not. But what do we measure, unless time in some space? For we say not single, and double, and triple, and equal, or in any other way in which we speak of time, unless with respect to the spaces of times. In what space, then, do we measure passing time? Is it in the future, whence it passes over? But what yet we measure not, is not. Or is it in the present, by which it passes? But no space, we do not measure. Or in the past, whither it passes? But that which is not now, we measure not.

My soul longs to understand this deeply tangled mystery. Do not shut out, O Lord my God, good Father—through Christ I beg You—do not shut out these things, both familiar and hidden, from my desire, so that it might be prevented from grasping them. Instead, let them become clear through Your illuminating mercy, O Lord. From whom should I ask about these things? And to whom can I more profitably confess my ignorance than to You, to whom these studies of mine, so passionately directed toward Your Scriptures, are not a burden? Give me what I love, for I do love, and this love You have given me. Give, Father, who truly knows how to give good gifts to Your children. Give, since I have taken on the task of knowing, and difficulty lies before me until You open it up. Through Christ I beg You, in His name, Holy of Holies, let no one interrupt me. For I believed, and therefore I speak. This is my hope; for this I live, that I may contemplate the delights of the Lord. See, You have made my days grow old, and they pass away, and I do not know how. And we speak about time and time, times and times—How long is the time since he said this? How long the time since he did this? and, How long the time since I saw that? and, This syllable takes twice the time of that single short syllable. These words we speak, and these we hear, and we are understood, and we understand. They are most obvious and most common, and yet the same things lie hidden too deeply, and their discovery is new.

28. My soul yearns to know this most entangled enigma. Forbear to shut up, O Lord my God, good Father — through Christ I beseech You — forbear to shut up these things, both usual and hidden, from my desire, that it may be hindered from penetrating them; but let them dawn through Your enlightening mercy, O Lord. Of whom shall I inquire concerning these things? And to whom shall I with more advantage confess my ignorance than to You, to whom these my studies, so vehemently kindled towards Your Scriptures, are not troublesome? Give that which I love; for I do love, and this have You given me. Give, Father, who truly know to give good gifts unto Your children. Matthew 7:11 Give, since I have undertaken to know, and trouble is before me until Thou dost open it. Through Christ, I beseech You, in His name, Holy of Holies, let no man interrupt me. For I believed, and therefore do I speak. This is my hope; for this do I live, that I may contemplate the delights of the Lord. Behold, You have made my days old, and they pass away, and in what manner I know not. And we speak as to time and time, times and times — How long is the time since he said this? How long the time since he did this? and, How long the time since I saw that? and, This syllable has double the time of that single short syllable. These words we speak, and these we hear; and we are understood, and we understand. They are most manifest and most usual, and the same things again lie hidden too deeply, and the discovery of them is new.

I have heard from a learned man that the movements of the sun, moon, and stars make up time, and I did not agree. For why shouldn't the movements of all bodies be time instead? What if the lights of heaven stopped, and a potter's wheel kept turning—wouldn't there still be time by which we could measure those rotations and say either that it turned at equal intervals, or if it moved more slowly at one moment and more quickly at another, that some rotations were longer and others shorter? And while we were saying this, wouldn't we also be speaking in time? Or wouldn't some syllables in our words be long and others short, precisely because some took a longer time to sound and others a shorter time? May God grant people the ability to see in small things the principles common to both great and small things. Both the stars and lights of heaven are for signs and for seasons, and for days and years. No doubt they are; but I would not say that the circuit of that wooden wheel was a day, nor should he say that therefore there was no time.

29. I have heard from a learned man that the motions of the sun, moon, and stars constituted time, and I assented not. For why should not rather the motions of all bodies be time? What if the lights of heaven should cease, and a potter's wheel run round, would there be no time by which we might measure those revolutions, and say either that it turned with equal pauses, or, if it were moved at one time more slowly, at another more quickly, that some revolutions were longer, others less so? Or while we were saying this, should we not also be speaking in time? Or should there in our words be some syllables long, others short, but because those sounded in a longer time, these in a shorter? God grant to men to see in a small thing ideas common to things great and small. Both the stars and luminaries of heaven are for signs and for seasons, and for days and years. Genesis 1:14 No doubt they are; but neither should I say that the circuit of that wooden wheel was a day, nor yet should he say that therefore there was no time.

I want to know the power and nature of time, by which we measure the movements of bodies and say (for example) that this movement is twice as long as that. For I ask: since "day" declares not only the sun's stay upon the earth (according to which day is one thing and night another), but also its entire circuit from east back to east—according to which we say "so many days have passed" (including the nights when we say "so many days," not counting their periods separately)—since, then, the day is completed by the sun's movement and by its circuit from east to east, I ask whether the movement itself is the day, or the period in which that movement is completed, or both? For if the first is the day, then there would be a day even if the sun finished that course in as little time as an hour. If the second, then it would not be a day if from one sunrise to another there were only a short period like an hour, but the sun would have to go around twenty-four times to complete a day. If both, then neither could that be called a day if the sun ran its entire round in the space of an hour, nor that, if the sun stood still while as much time passed as the sun usually takes to accomplish its whole course from morning to morning. I will not therefore now ask what that thing is which is called day, but what time is, by which we, measuring the sun's circuit, would say it was accomplished in half the usual time if it were completed in as little as twelve hours. Comparing both times, we would call one single and the other double time, even though the sun ran its course from east to east sometimes in that single time, sometimes in that double time. Let no one tell me that the movements of the heavenly bodies are times, because when at one man's prayer the sun stood still so that he might achieve his victorious battle, the sun stood still, but time went on. For that battle was fought and ended in whatever space of time was sufficient. I see that time, then, is a certain extension. But do I really see it, or do I only seem to see it? You, O Light and Truth, will show me.

30. I desire to know the power and nature of time, by which we measure the motions of bodies, and say (for example) that this motion is twice as long as that. For, I ask, since day declares not the stay only of the sun upon the earth, according to which day is one thing, night another, but also its entire circuit from east even to east — according to which we say, So many days have passed (the nights being included when we say so many days, and their spaces not counted apart) — since, then, the day is finished by the motion of the sun, and by his circuit from east to east, I ask, whether the motion itself is the day, or the period in which that motion is completed, or both? For if the first be the day, then would there be a day although the sun should finish that course in so small a space of time as an hour. If the second, then that would not be a day if from one sunrise to another there were but so short a period as an hour, but the sun must go round four-and-twenty times to complete a day. If both, neither could that be called a day if the sun should run his entire round in the space of an hour; nor that, if, while the sun stood still, so much time should pass as the sun is accustomed to accomplish his whole course in from morning to morning. I shall not therefore now ask, what that is which is called day, but what time is, by which we, measuring the circuit of the sun, should say that it was accomplished in half the space of time it was wont, if it had been completed in so small a space as twelve hours; and comparing both times, we should call that single, this double time, although the sun should run his course from east to east sometimes in that single, sometimes in that double time. Let no man then tell me that the motions of the heavenly bodies are times, because, when at the prayer of one the sun stood still in order that he might achieve his victorious battle, the sun stood still, but time went on. For in such space of time as was sufficient was that battle fought and ended. Joshua 10:12-14 I see that time, then, is a certain extension. But do I see it, or do I seem to see it? Thou, O Light and Truth, will show me.

Do you command that I should agree if someone says that time is the motion of a body? You do not command me. For I hear that no body can be moved except in time. This You say; but that the very motion of a body is time itself, I do not hear; You do not say that. For when a body is moved, I use time to measure how long it moves from when it began to move until it stopped. And if I did not see where it began, and it continues moving so that I do not see when it stops, I cannot measure it unless I measure from the time I began watching until I stopped watching. But if I watch for a long time, I can only say that the time is long, but not how long it is, because when we say "how long," we speak by comparison, such as "This is as long as that," or "This is twice as long as that," or anything similar. But if we could mark the distances of the places from which and to which the moving body travels, or its parts if it moved like a wheel, we could say in how much time the motion of the body or its part from this place to that place was completed. Therefore, since the motion of a body is one thing, and that by which we measure how long it is is another thing, who cannot see which of these should rather be called time? For even though a body sometimes moves and sometimes stands still, we measure not only its motion but also its standing still by time; and we say, "It stood still as much as it moved," or "It stood still twice or three times as long as it moved," and any other measure that our measuring has either determined or imagined, more or less, as we customarily say. Time, therefore, is not the motion of a body.

31. Do you command that I should assent, if any one should say that time is the motion of a body? Thou dost not command me. For I hear that no body is moved but in time. This You say; but that the very motion of a body is time, I hear not; You say it not. For when a body is moved, I by time measure how long it may be moving from the time in which it began to be moved till it left off. And if I saw not whence it began, and it continued to be moved, so that I see not when it leaves off, I cannot measure unless, perchance, from the time I began until I cease to see. But if I look long, I only proclaim that the time is long, but not how long it may be because when we say, How long, we speak by comparison, as, This is as long as that, or, This is double as long as that, or any other thing of the kind. But if we were able to note down the distances of places whence and whither comes the body which is moved, or its parts, if it moved as in a wheel, we can say in how much time the motion of the body or its part, from this place unto that, was performed. Since, then, the motion of a body is one thing, that by which we measure how long it is another, who cannot see which of these is rather to be called time? For, although a body be sometimes moved, sometimes stand still, we measure not its motion only, but also its standing still, by time; and we say, It stood still as much as it moved; or, It stood still twice or thrice as long as it moved; and if any other space which our measuring has either determined or imagined, more or less, as we are accustomed to say. Time, therefore, is not the motion of a body.

I confess to You, Lord, that I still do not know what time is, and again I confess to You, Lord, that I know I am speaking these things in time, and that I have already been speaking about time for a long while, and that "a long while" is only long because of the passage of time. How then do I know this, when I do not know what time is? Or is it perhaps that I do not know how to express what I know? How terrible for me, that I do not even know the extent of my own ignorance! Look, my God, I do not lie before You. As I speak, so is my heart. You will light my lamp; You, Lord my God, will enlighten my darkness.

32. And I confess unto You, O Lord, that I am as yet ignorant as to what time is, and again I confess unto You, O Lord, that I know that I speak these things in time, and that I have already long spoken of time, and that very long is not long save by the stay of time. How, then, know I this, when I know not what time is? Or is it, perchance, that I know not in what wise I may express what I know? Alas for me, that I do not at least know the extent of my own ignorance! Behold, O my God, before You I lie not. As I speak, so is my heart. You shall light my candle; Thou, O Lord my God, will enlighten my darkness.

Does my soul not truly pour out to You in confession that I do measure times? But do I measure this way, O my God, and not know what I measure? I measure the motion of a body by time; and do I not also measure time itself? But truly, could I measure the motion of a body—how long it is and how long it takes to move from this place to that—unless I measured the time in which it moves? How, then, do I measure this very time itself? Or do we measure a longer time by a shorter one, just as we measure the span of a crossbeam by the space of a cubit? For indeed, we seem to measure the length of a long syllable by the length of a short syllable, and to say that it is double. In this way we measure the lengths of stanzas by the lengths of verses, and the lengths of verses by the lengths of feet, and the lengths of feet by the lengths of syllables, and the lengths of long syllables by the lengths of short syllables. We are not measuring by pages, for in that way we measure spaces, not times, but when we speak the words and they pass by, we say: It is a long stanza because it is made up of so many verses; long verses because they consist of so many feet; long feet because they extend through so many syllables; a long syllable because it is double a short one. But even this way does not give us any certain measure of time, since it is possible that a shorter verse, if spoken more slowly, may take up more time than a longer one spoken more quickly. The same applies to a stanza, to a foot, to a syllable. Therefore it appeared to me that time is nothing other than protraction, but of what, I do not know. It is wonderful to me if it is not of the mind itself. For what do I measure, I beseech You, O my God, even when I say either indefinitely, This time is longer than that, or even definitely, This is double that? I know that I measure time. But I do not measure the future, for it does not yet exist; nor do I measure the present, because it has no extension in space; nor do I measure the past, because it no longer exists. What, then, do I measure? Is it times passing, not past? For this is what I had said.

33. Does not my soul pour out unto You truly in confession that I do measure times? But do I thus measure, O my God, and know not what I measure? I measure the motion of a body by time; and the time itself do I not measure? But, in truth, could I measure the motion of a body, how long it is, and how long it is in coming from this place to that, unless I should measure the time in which it is moved? How, therefore, do I measure this very time itself? Or do we by a shorter time measure a longer, as by the space of a cubit the space of a crossbeam? For thus, indeed, we seem by the space of a short syllable to measure the space of a long syllable, and to say that this is double. Thus we measure the spaces of stanzas by the spaces of the verses, and the spaces of the verses by the spaces of the feet, and the spaces of the feet by the spaces of the syllables, and the spaces of long by the spaces of short syllables; not measuring by pages (for in that manner we measure spaces, not times), but when in uttering the words they pass by, and we say, It is a long stanza because it is made up of so many verses; long verses, because they consist of so many feet; long feet, because they are prolonged by so many syllables; a long syllable, because double a short one. But neither thus is any certain measure of time obtained; since it is possible that a shorter verse, if it be pronounced more fully, may take up more time than a longer one, if pronounced more hurriedly. Thus for a stanzas, thus for a foot, thus for a syllable. Whence it appeared to me that time is nothing else than protraction; but of what I know not. It is wonderful to me, if it be not of the mind itself. For what do I measure, I beseech You, O my God, even when I say either indefinitely, This time is longer than that; or even definitely, This is double that? That I measure time, I know. But I measure not the future, for it is not yet; nor do I measure the present, because it is extended by no space; nor do I measure the past, because it no longer is. What, therefore, do I measure? Is it times passing, not past? For thus had I said.

Keep going, my mind, and pay close attention. God is our helper; He made us, and we did not make ourselves. Pay attention to where truth begins to shine. Look, suppose the voice of a body begins to sound, and does sound, and keeps sounding, and then—it stops. Now there is silence, and that voice is past and is no longer a voice. Before it sounded, it was future and could not be measured because it did not yet exist. And now it cannot be measured because it no longer exists. Therefore, while it was sounding, it could be measured, because then there was something that could be measured. But even then it did not stand still, for it was moving and passing away. Could it then be measured better for that reason? For while passing, it was being stretched out into some span of time in which it could be measured, since the present has no extension. If, therefore, it could then be measured, look—suppose another voice has begun to sound and still sounds in a continuous tone without any interruption. We can measure it while it is sounding, for when it stops sounding, it will already be past, and there will be nothing that can be measured. Let us measure it accurately and say how long it is. But it is still sounding and cannot be measured except from the moment when it began to sound up to the end when it stopped. For we measure the interval itself from some beginning to some end. For this reason, a voice that has not yet ended cannot be measured so that we can say how long or short it is, nor can it be said to be equal to another voice, or half or double in relation to it, or anything like that. But when it has ended, it no longer exists. How, then, can it be measured? And yet we do measure times—but not those that do not yet exist, nor those that no longer exist, nor those that are stretched out by some delay, nor those that have no boundaries. We therefore measure neither future times, nor past times, nor present times, nor times that are passing by; and yet we do measure times.

34. Persevere, O my mind, and give earnest heed. God is our helper; He made us, and not we ourselves. Give heed, where truth dawns. Lo, suppose the voice of a body begins to sound, and does sound, and sounds on, and lo! It ceases — it is now silence, and that voice is past and is no longer a voice. It was future before it sounded, and could not be measured, because as yet it was not; and now it cannot, because it no longer is. Then, therefore, while it was sounding, it might, because there was then that which might be measured. But even then it did not stand still, for it was going and passing away. Could it, then, on that account be measured the more? For, while passing, it was being extended into some space of time, in which it might be measured, since the present has no space. If, therefore, then it might be measured, lo! suppose another voice has begun to sound, and still sounds, in a continued tenor without any interruption, we can measure it while it is sounding; for when it shall have ceased to sound, it will be already past, and there will not be that which can be measured. Let us measure it truly, and let us say how much it is. But as yet it sounds, nor can it be measured, save from that instant in which it began to sound, even to the end in which it left off. For the interval itself we measure from some beginning unto some end. On which account, a voice which is not yet ended cannot be measured, so that it may be said how long or how short it may be; nor can it be said to be equal to another, or single or double in respect of it, or the like. But when it is ended, it no longer is. In what manner, therefore, may it be measured? And yet we measure times; still not those which as yet are not, nor those which no longer are, nor those which are protracted by some delay, nor those which have no limits. We, therefore, measure neither future times, nor past, nor present, nor those passing by; and yet we do measure times.

Deus Creator omnium; this verse of eight syllables alternates between short and long syllables. The four short syllables—the first, third, fifth, and seventh—are single in relation to the four long syllables—the second, fourth, sixth, and eighth. Each of the long syllables takes twice as much time as each of the short ones. I recite them and report on them, and this is how it is, as common sense perceives it. So by common sense I measure a long syllable by a short syllable, and I find that it contains twice as much time. But when one sounds after another—if the first is short and the second is long—how can I hold onto the short one, and how can I apply it as a measure to the long one so that I can discover it has twice as much time, when the long one doesn't even begin to sound until the short one stops sounding? I can't measure that long syllable while it's present, since I only measure it when it has ended. But its ending is its passing away. What is it, then, that I can measure? Where is the short syllable by which I measure? Where is the long syllable that I measure? Both have sounded, have flown away, have passed on, and no longer exist; and yet I still measure, and I confidently answer (insofar as a trained sense can be trusted) that in terms of duration this syllable is single, that one double. I couldn't do this unless they had passed and ended. Therefore I'm not measuring the syllables themselves, which no longer exist, but something in my memory that remains fixed.

35. Deus Creator omnium; this verse of eight syllables alternates between short and long syllables. The four short, then, the first, third, fifth and seventh, are single in respect of the four long, the second, fourth, sixth, and eighth. Each of these has a double time to every one of those. I pronounce them, report on them, and thus it is, as is perceived by common sense. By common sense, then, I measure a long by a short syllable, and I find that it has twice as much. But when one sounds after another, if the former be short the latter long, how shall I hold the short one, and how measuring shall I apply it to the long, so that I may find out that this has twice as much, when indeed the long does not begin to sound unless the short leaves off sounding? That very long one I measure not as present, since I measure it not save when ended. But its ending is its passing away. What, then, is it that I can measure? Where is the short syllable by which I measure? Where is the long one which I measure? Both have sounded, have flown, have passed away, and are no longer; and still I measure, and I confidently answer (so far as is trusted to a practised sense), that as to space of time this syllable is single, that double. Nor could I do this, unless because they have past, and are ended. Therefore do I not measure themselves, which now are not, but something in my memory, which remains fixed.

In you, O my mind, I measure times. Do not overwhelm me with your noise. That is, do not overwhelm yourself with the multitude of your impressions. In you, I say, I measure times. I measure the impression that things make on you as they pass by, which remains after they have passed. I measure this as present time, not the things themselves that have passed by and made the impression. This is what I measure when I measure times. Either these impressions are times, or I do not measure times. What about when we measure silence and say that this silence has lasted as long as that sound lasted? Do we not stretch our thought to the measure of a sound, as if it were sounding, so that we can say something about the intervals of silence in a given space of time? For when both voice and tongue are still, we go over in thought poems and verses, and any speech, or dimensions of movements, and we declare concerning the spaces of times, how much this is in relation to that, no differently than if we were speaking them aloud. Should anyone wish to utter a prolonged sound, and had determined beforehand how long it should be, that person has in silence truly gone through a space of time, and, committing it to memory, begins to utter that speech, which sounds until it extends to the intended end. Truly it has sounded and will sound. For what of it is already finished has truly sounded, but what remains will sound. And thus it passes on, until the present intention carries over the future into the past, the past increasing by the diminishing of the future, until, by the consumption of the future, all is past.

36. In you, O my mind, I measure times. Do not overwhelm me with your clamour. That is, do not overwhelm yourself with the multitude of your impressions. In you, I say, I measure times; the impression which things as they pass by make on you, and which, when they have passed by, remains, that I measure as time present, not those things which have passed by, that the impression should be made. This I measure when I measure times. Either, then, these are times, or I do not measure times. What when we measure silence, and say that this silence has lasted as long as that voice lasts? Do we not extend our thought to the measure of a voice, as if it sounded, so that we may be able to declare something concerning the intervals of silence in a given space of time? For when both the voice and tongue are still, we go over in thought poems and verses, and any discourse, or dimensions of motions; and declare concerning the spaces of times, how much this may be in respect of that, not otherwise than if uttering them we should pronounce them. Should any one wish to utter a lengthened sound, and had with forethought determined how long it should be, that man has in silence verily gone through a space of time, and, committing it to memory, he begins to utter that speech, which sounds until it be extended to the end proposed; truly it has sounded, and will sound. For what of it is already finished has verily sounded, but what remains will sound; and thus does it pass on, until the present intention carry over the future into the past; the past increasing by the diminution of the future, until, by the consumption of the future, all be past.

But how is the future diminished or consumed when it does not yet exist? Or how does the past, which no longer exists, increase, unless three things happen in the mind that performs these actions? For the mind expects, considers, and remembers, so that what it expects may pass through what it considers into what it remembers. Who then denies that future things do not yet exist? Yet the expectation of future things already exists in the mind. And who denies that past things no longer exist? Yet the memory of past things still exists in the mind. And who denies that the present moment lacks extension because it passes away in an instant? Yet our consideration continues, allowing what is present to proceed toward becoming absent. Future time, which does not exist, is not therefore long; rather, a long future is a long expectation of the future. Nor is past time, which no longer exists, long; rather, a long past is a long memory of the past.

37. But how is that future diminished or consumed which as yet is not? Or how does the past, which is no longer, increase, unless in the mind which enacts this there are three things done? For it both expects, and considers, and remembers, that that which it expects, through that which it considers, may pass into that which it remembers. Who, therefore, denies that future things as yet are not? But yet there is already in the mind the expectation of things future. And who denies that past things are now no longer? But, however, there is still in the mind the memory of things past. And who denies that time present wants space, because it passes away in a moment? But yet our consideration endures, through which that which may be present may proceed to become absent. Future time, which is not, is not therefore long; but a long future is a long expectation of the future. Nor is time past, which is now no longer, long; but a long past is a long memory of the past.

I am about to recite a psalm that I know. Before I begin, my attention extends to the whole psalm. But once I have started, however much of it becomes past as I recite it is extended in my memory, and the life of this action of mine is divided between my memory, because of what I have recited, and my expectation, because of what I am about to recite. Yet my consideration is present with me, through which what was future may be carried over so that it may become past. The more this is done and repeated, the more my memory is enlarged as expectation is shortened, until the whole expectation is exhausted, when that entire action, having ended, will have passed into memory. And what takes place in the entire psalm also takes place in each individual part of it and in each individual syllable. This holds in the longer action of which that psalm is perhaps a portion. The same holds in the whole life of a man, of which all the actions of a man are parts. The same holds in the whole age of the sons of men, of which all the lives of men are parts.

38. I am about to repeat a psalm that I know. Before I begin, my attention is extended to the whole; but when I have begun, as much of it as becomes past by my saying it is extended in my memory; and the life of this action of mine is divided between my memory, on account of what I have repeated, and my expectation, on account of what I am about to repeat; yet my consideration is present with me, through which that which was future may be carried over so that it may become past. Which the more it is done and repeated, by so much (expectation being shortened) the memory is enlarged, until the whole expectation be exhausted, when that whole action being ended shall have passed into memory. And what takes place in the entire psalm, takes place also in each individual part of it, and in each individual syllable: this holds in the longer action, of which that psalm is perchance a portion; the same holds in the whole life of man, of which all the actions of man are parts; the same holds in the whole age of the sons of men, of which all the lives of men are parts.

But because Your loving-kindness is better than life, look—my life is nothing but a distraction, and Your right hand has upheld me in my Lord, the Son of man, the Mediator between You, the One, and us the many—in many distractions amid many things—so that through Him I may apprehend the one in whom I have been apprehended, and may be gathered back from my old days, following the One, forgetting the things that are past. Not distracted, but drawn on—not to those things which will be and will pass away, but to those things which are ahead—not distractedly, but intently, I press on for the prize of my heavenly calling, where I may hear the voice of Your praise and contemplate Your delights, neither coming nor passing away. But now my years are spent in mourning. And You, O Lord, are my comfort, my Father everlasting. But I have been divided among times, whose order I do not know, and my thoughts, even the inmost depths of my soul, are torn apart by tumultuous varieties, until I flow together into You, purged and melted in the fire of Your love.

39. But because Your loving-kindness is better than life, behold, my life is but a distraction, and Your right hand upheld me in my Lord, the Son of man, the Mediator between You, 1 Timothy 2:5 The One, and us the many — in many distractions amid many things — that through Him I may apprehend in whom I have been apprehended, and may be recollected from my old days, following The One, forgetting the things that are past; and not distracted, but drawn on, not to those things which shall be and shall pass away, but to those things which are before, Philippians 3:13 not distractedly, but intently, I follow on for the prize of my heavenly calling, where I may hear the voice of Your praise, and contemplate Your delights, neither coming nor passing away. But now are my years spent in mourning. And You, O Lord, art my comfort, my Father everlasting. But I have been divided amid times, the order of which I know not; and my thoughts, even the inmost bowels of my soul, are mangled with tumultuous varieties, until I flow together unto You, purged and molten in the fire of Your love.

And I will be unmovable and fixed in You, in my mold, Your truth; nor will I put up with the questions of men who, through a disease that brings punishment, thirst for more than they can contain, and say, "What did God make before He made heaven and earth?" Or, "How did it come into His mind to make anything, when He had never made anything before?" Grant them, O Lord, to think carefully about what they say, and to see that where there is no time, they cannot say "never." What, therefore, He is said never to have made—what else does this mean but to say that it was made at no time? Let them therefore see that there could be no time without a created being, and let them stop speaking this foolishness. Let them also reach forward to those things which are ahead, and understand that You, the eternal Creator of all times, exist before all times, and that no times are co-eternal with You, nor is any creature co-eternal with You, even if there is any creature beyond all times.

40. And I will be immoveable, and fixed in You, in my mould, Your truth; nor will I endure the questions of men, who by a penal disease thirst for more than they can hold, and say, What did God make before He made heaven and earth? Or, How came it into His mind to make anything, when He never before made anything? Grant to them, O Lord, to think well what they say, and to see that where there is no time, they cannot say never. What, therefore, He is said never to have made, what else is it but to say, that in no time was it made? Let them therefore see that there could be no time without a created being, and let them cease to speak that vanity. Let them also be extended unto those things which are before, Philippians 3:13 and understand that you, the eternal Creator of all times, art before all times, and that no times are co-eternal with You, nor any creature, even if there be any creature beyond all times.

O Lord my God, what is that secret place of Your mystery, and how far have the consequences of my sins cast me from it? Heal my eyes so that I may enjoy Your light. Certainly, if there were a mind so abundantly filled with knowledge and foreknowledge that all things past and future were as well known to it as one psalm is well known to me, that mind would be exceedingly wonderful and truly astonishing; because whatever has passed and whatever is yet to come in future ages would be no more hidden from it than it was hidden from me when singing that psalm—knowing what and how much of it had been sung from the beginning, and what and how much remained until the end. But far be it that You, the Creator of the universe, the Creator of souls and bodies—far be it that You should merely know all things future and past in this way. Far, far more wonderfully, and far more mysteriously, You know them. For it is not as with someone singing familiar words or hearing a familiar song, whose feelings are varied through expectation of future words and remembrance of past ones, and whose senses are divided—nothing like this happens to You, unchangeably eternal, that is, the truly eternal Creator of minds. Just as You in the Beginning knew the heaven and the earth without any change in Your knowledge, so in the Beginning You made heaven and earth without any division in Your action. Let whoever understands confess to You; and let whoever does not understand also confess to You. Oh, how exalted You are, and yet the humble in heart are Your dwelling-place; for You raise up those who are bowed down, and those whose exaltation You are do not fall.

41. O Lord my God, what is that secret place of Your mystery, and how far thence have the consequences of my transgressions cast me? Heal my eyes, that I may enjoy Your light. Surely, if there be a mind, so greatly abounding in knowledge and foreknowledge, to which all things past and future are so known as one psalm is well known to me, that mind is exceedingly wonderful, and very astonishing; because whatever is so past, and whatever is to come of after ages, is no more concealed from Him than was it hidden from me when singing that psalm, what and how much of it had been sung from the beginning, what and how much remained unto the end. But far be it that Thou, the Creator of the universe, the Creator of souls and bodies — far be it that You should know all things future and past. Far, far more wonderfully, and far more mysteriously, You know them. For it is not as the feelings of one singing known things, or hearing a known song, are — through expectation of future words, and in remembrance of those that are past — varied, and his senses divided, that anything happens unto You, unchangeably eternal, that is, the truly eternal Creator of minds. As, then, Thou in the Beginning knew the heaven and the earth without any change of Your knowledge, so in the Beginning Thou made heaven and earth without any distraction of Your action. Let him who understands confess unto You; and let him who understands not, confess unto You. Oh, how exalted are You, and yet the humble in heart are Your dwelling-place; for Thou raisest up those that are bowed down, and they whose exaltation You are fall not.

Let me know You, O You who know me; let me know You, as I am known. O You strength of my soul, enter into it and prepare it for Yourself, that You may have and hold it without spot or wrinkle. This is my hope, and therefore I have spoken; and in this hope I rejoice, when I rejoice with sobriety. The other things of this life should be mourned less when people mourn them more, and should be mourned more when people mourn them less. For look, You desire truth, since whoever does it comes to the light. I want to do this through confession in my heart before You, and in my writing before many witnesses.

1. Let me know You, O Thou who know me; let me know You, as I am known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 O Thou strength of my soul, enter into it, and prepare it for Yourself, that You may have and hold it without spot or wrinkle. Ephesians 5:27 This is my hope, therefore have I spoken; and in this hope do I rejoice, when I rejoice soberly. Other things of this life ought the less to be sorrowed for, the more they are sorrowed for; and ought the more to be sorrowed for, the less men do sorrow for them. For behold, You desire truth, seeing that he who does it comes to the light. John 3:20 This wish I to do in confession in my heart before You, and in my writing before many witnesses.

And from You, O Lord, to whose eyes the depths of a person's conscience lie bare, what could be hidden in me even if I refused to confess to You? In doing so, I would only hide You from myself, not myself from You. But now, because my groaning testifies that I am dissatisfied with myself, You shine forth, and satisfy, and are beloved and desired, so that I may feel shame for myself, and renounce myself, and choose You, and may please neither You nor myself except in You. To You, then, O Lord, I am revealed, whatever I am, and I have already spoken about the benefit I gain from confessing to You. I do not make this confession with the words and sounds of the flesh, but with the words of the soul and that cry of reflection which Your ear knows. For when I am wicked, confessing to You is nothing other than being dissatisfied with myself. But when I am truly devout, it is nothing other than not attributing it to myself, because You, O Lord, bless the righteous, but first You justify the ungodly. My confession, therefore, O my God, is made to You in Your sight silently, and yet not silently. For in outward noise it is silent, but in deep feeling it cries aloud. I do not speak anything right to other people that You have not already heard from me beforehand, nor do You hear anything of this kind from me that You Yourself did not first say to me.

2. And from You, O Lord, unto whose eyes the depths of man's conscience are naked, Hebrews 4:13 what in me could be hidden though I were unwilling to confess to You? For so should I hide You from myself, not myself from You. But now, because my groaning witnesses that I am dissatisfied with myself, Thou shinest forth, and satisfiest, and art beloved and desired; that I may blush for myself, and renounce myself, and choose You, and may neither please You nor myself, except in You. To You, then, O Lord, am I manifest, whatever I am, and with what fruit I may confess unto You I have spoken. Nor do I it with words and sounds of the flesh, but with the words of the soul, and that cry of reflection which Your ear knows. For when I am wicked, to confess to You is naught but to be dissatisfied with myself; but when I am truly devout, it is naught but not to attribute it to myself, because Thou, O Lord, bless the righteous; but first Thou justify him ungodly. Romans 4:5 My confession, therefore, O my God, in Your sight, is made unto You silently, and yet not silently. For in noise it is silent, in affection it cries aloud. For neither do I give utterance to anything that is right unto men which You have not heard from me before, nor do You hear anything of the kind from me which Yourself said not first unto me.

What business is it of others to hear my confessions, as though they could heal all my sicknesses? People are curious to know about other people's lives but slow to fix their own problems. Why do they want to hear from me what I am, when they refuse to hear from You what they are? And when they hear me talk about myself, how can they know whether I'm telling the truth, since no one knows what is inside a person except that person's own spirit which is in him? But if they hear from You anything about themselves, they won't be able to say, "The Lord is lying." For what does it mean to hear from You about themselves, if not to know themselves? And who really knows himself and then says, "That's false," unless he himself is lying? But since charity believes all things (at least among those whom it joins together into one through union with itself), I too, O Lord, confess to You in a way that others may hear, even though I cannot prove to them that I'm confessing the truth. Yet those whose ears charity opens to me do believe me.

3. What then have I to do with men, that they should hear my confessions, as if they were going to cure all my diseases? A people curious to know the lives of others, but slow to correct their own. Why do they desire to hear from me what I am, who are unwilling to hear from You what they are? And how can they tell, when they hear from me of myself, whether I speak the truth, seeing that no man knows what is in man, save the spirit of man which is in him? 1 Corinthians 2:11 But if they hear from You anything concerning themselves, they will not be able to say, The Lord lies. For what is it to hear from You of themselves, but to know themselves? And who is he that knows himself and says, It is false, unless he himself lies? But because charity believes all things 1 Corinthians 13:7 (among those at all events whom by union with itself it makes one), I too, O Lord, also so confess unto You that men may hear, to whom I cannot prove whether I confess the truth, yet do they believe me whose ears charity opens unto me.

But You, my most secret Physician, make clear to me what benefit I may gain by doing this. When the confessions of my past sins—which You have forgiven and covered so that You might make me happy in You, transforming my soul through faith and Your sacrament—are read and heard, they stir up the heart so that it does not sleep in despair and say, "I cannot." Instead, the heart awakens in the love of Your mercy and the sweetness of Your grace, by which the weak person is made strong, if through it he becomes aware of his own weakness. As for good people, they take delight in hearing about the past errors of those who are now freed from them. They delight not because these are errors, but because they once existed and no longer do. So what benefit, then, O Lord my God—to whom my conscience makes her daily confession, more confident in the hope of Your mercy than in her own innocence—what benefit, I ask You, do I gain by confessing even to other people in Your presence through this book what I am now, not what I have been? I have already seen and spoken of that benefit. But what I am now, at this very moment of making my confessions, various people desire to know—both those who knew me and those who did not, who have heard about me or from me. But their ear cannot reach my heart, where I am whatever I am. So they desire to hear me confess what I am within, where they can stretch neither eye, nor ear, nor mind. They desire it as people willing to believe—but will they understand? For charity, by which they are good, tells them that I do not lie in my confessions, and she in them believes me.

4. But yet do Thou, my most secret Physician, make clear to me what fruit I may reap by doing it. For the confessions of my past sins — which You have forgiven and covered, that You might make me happy in You, changing my soul by faith and Your sacrament — when they are read and heard, stir up the heart, that it sleep not in despair and say, I cannot; but that it may awake in the love of Your mercy and the sweetness of Your grace, by which he that is weak is strong, 2 Corinthians 12:10 if by it he is made conscious of his own weakness. As for the good, they take delight in hearing of the past errors of such as are now freed from them; and they delight, not because they are errors, but because they have been and are so no longer. For what fruit, then, O Lord my God, to whom my conscience makes her daily confession, more confident in the hope of Your mercy than in her own innocency — for what fruit, I beseech You, do I confess even to men in Your presence by this book what I am at this time, not what I have been? For that fruit I have both seen and spoken of, but what I am at this time, at the very moment of making my confessions, various people desire to know, both who knew me and who knew me not — who have heard of or from me — but their ear is not at my heart, where I am whatsoever I am. They are desirous, then, of hearing me confess what I am within, where they can neither stretch eye, nor ear, nor mind; they desire it as those willing to believe — but will they understand? For charity, by which they are good, says unto them that I do not lie in my confessions, and she in them believes me.

But what benefit do they hope to gain from this? Do they want to rejoice with me when they learn how close I come to You through Your gift, and to pray for me when they learn how much my own burden holds me back? To such people I will reveal myself. For it is no small benefit, O Lord my God, that many people should give thanks to You on our behalf, and that many should pray to You for us. Let the brotherly soul love in me what You teach should be loved, and grieve over in me what You teach should be grieved over. Let a brotherly soul do this, not a foreign one—not the soul of strange children whose mouth speaks vanity and whose right hand is a right hand of falsehood—but that brotherly soul which, when it approves of me, rejoices for me, but when it disapproves of me, grieves for me, because whether it approves or disapproves, it loves me. To such people I will reveal myself. Let them rejoice at my good deeds and grieve over my evil ones. My good deeds are Your works and Your gifts; my evil ones are my failures and Your judgments. Let them rejoice at the one and grieve over the other, and let hymns and tears rise into Your sight from brotherly hearts—Your censers. And You, O Lord, who delight in the incense of Your holy temple, have mercy on me according to Your great mercy, for Your name's sake; and never abandoning what You have begun in me, complete what is incomplete in me.

5. But for what fruit do they desire this? Do they wish me happiness when they learn how near, by Your gift, I come unto You; and to pray for me, when they learn how much I am kept back by my own weight? To such will I declare myself. For it is no small fruit, O Lord my God, that by many thanks should be given to You on our behalf, 2 Corinthians 1:11 and that by many You should be entreated for us. Let the fraternal soul love that in me which Thou teachest should be loved, and lament that in me which Thou teachest should be lamented. Let a fraternal and not an alien soul do this, nor that of strange children, whose mouth speaks vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood, but that fraternal one which, when it approves me, rejoices for me, but when it disapproves me, is sorry for me; because whether it approves or disapproves it loves me. To such will I declare myself; let them breathe freely at my good deeds, and sigh over my evil ones. My good deeds are Your institutions and Your gifts, my evil ones are my delinquencies and Your judgments. Let them breathe freely at the one, and sigh over the other; and let hymns and tears ascend into Your sight out of the fraternal hearts — Your censers. Revelation 8:3 And do Thou, O Lord, who takest delight in the incense of Your holy temple, have mercy upon me according to Your great mercy, for Your name's sake; and on no account leaving what You have begun in me, do Thou complete what is imperfect in me.

This is the fruit of my confessions – not what I was, but what I am now – that I may confess this not only before You, in secret joy mixed with trembling and secret sorrow mixed with hope, but also in the hearing of believing men and women who are sons of God: those who share my joy and share my mortality, my fellow citizens and companions on pilgrimage, both those who have gone before me and those who will come after, and those who travel alongside me now. These are Your servants, my brothers and sisters, those whom You want to be Your sons; they are my teachers, whom You have commanded me to serve if I want to live with You and through You. But this word of Yours would mean little to me if it only commanded through speech without first going ahead through action. So I do this both in action and in word, and I do it under Your wings, though this would be too dangerous except that my soul is submitted to You under Your wings, and my weakness is known to You. I am small, but my Father lives forever, and my Defender is sufficient for me. For He is the same one who brought me into being and who protects me; and You Yourself are all my good – You, the Almighty, who are with me even before I am with You. So to those whom You command me to serve, I will declare not what I was, but what I am now and what I continue to be. But I do not judge myself. This is how I would be heard.

6. This is the fruit of my confessions, not of what I was, but of what I am, that I may confess this not before You only, in a secret exultation with trembling, and a secret sorrow with hope, but in the ears also of the believing sons of men — partakers of my joy, and sharers of my mortality, my fellow citizens and the companions of my pilgrimage, those who are gone before, and those that are to follow after, and the comrades of my way. These are Your servants, my brethren, those whom You wish to be Your sons; my masters, whom You have commanded me to serve, if I desire to live with and of You. But this Your word were little to me did it command in speaking, without going before in acting. This then do I both in deed and word, this I do under Your wings, in too great danger, were it not that my soul, under Your wings, is subject unto You, and my weakness known unto You. I am a little one, but my Father lives for ever, and my Defender is sufficient 2 Corinthians 12:9 for me. For He is the same who begot me and who defends me; and You Yourself art all my good; even Thou, the Omnipotent, who art with me, and that before I am with You. To such, therefore, whom You command me to serve will I declare, not what I was, but what I now am, and what I still am. But neither do I judge myself. 1 Corinthians 4:3 Thus then I would be heard.

For it is You, Lord, who judges me; for although no one knows the things of a person except the spirit of the person which is in him, yet there is something of a person which even the spirit of the person within him does not know. But You, Lord, who made him, know him completely. I indeed, though in Your sight I despise myself and consider myself nothing but dust and ashes, yet know something about You which I do not know about myself. And certainly now we see through a glass darkly, not yet face to face. So long, therefore, as I am absent from You, I am more present with myself than with You; and yet I know that You cannot suffer violence; but for myself I do not know what temptations I am able to resist and what I am not able to resist. But there is hope, because You are faithful, who will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, so that we may be able to bear it. I would therefore confess what I know about myself; I will confess also what I do not know about myself. And because what I do know about myself, I know by You enlightening me; and what I do not know about myself, I will not know until the time when my darkness becomes as the noonday in Your sight.

7. For it is Thou, Lord, that judgest me; 1 Corinthians 4:4 for although no man knows the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him, 1 Corinthians 2:11 yet is there something of man which the spirit of man which is in him itself knows not. But You, Lord, who hast made him, know him wholly. I indeed, though in Your sight I despise myself, and reckon myself but dust and ashes, Genesis 18:27 yet know something concerning You, which I know not concerning myself. And assuredly now we see through a glass darkly, not yet face to face. 1 Corinthians 13:12 So long, therefore, as I be absent from You, I am more present with myself than with You; 2 Corinthians 5:6 and yet know I that You can not suffer violence; but for myself I know not what temptations I am able to resist, and what I am not able. But there is hope, because You are faithful, who will not suffer us to be tempted above that we are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that we may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 I would therefore confess what I know concerning myself; I will confess also what I know not concerning myself. And because what I do know of myself, I know by You enlightening me; and what I know not of myself, so long I know not until the time when my darkness be as the noonday Isaiah 58:10 in Your sight.

I love You, O Lord, not with uncertain awareness but with complete assurance. You have pierced my heart with Your word, and I loved You. Heaven and earth and everything in them—look, on every side they tell me I should love You, and they never stop speaking to everyone, so that people are without excuse. But more deeply, You will have mercy on whom You will have mercy, and compassion on whom You will have compassion; otherwise both heaven and earth proclaim Your praises to deaf ears. But what is it that I love when I love You? Not physical beauty, not the splendor of temporal things, not the brightness of light that delights our eyes, not the sweet melodies of all kinds of songs, not the fragrant smell of flowers, ointments, and spices, not manna and honey, not limbs that are pleasant to the embrace of flesh. I do not love these things when I love my God. And yet I do love a certain kind of light, and sound, and fragrance, and food, and embrace in loving my God, who is the light, sound, fragrance, food, and embrace of my inner man—where that light shines into my soul which no space can contain, where that sounds which time cannot snatch away, where there is a fragrance which no wind scatters, where there is a food which no eating can reduce, and where that clings which no fullness can separate. This is what I love when I love my God.

8. Not with uncertain, but with assured consciousness do I love You, O Lord. You have stricken my heart with Your word, and I loved You. And also the heaven, and earth, and all that is therein, behold, on every side they say that I should love You; nor do they cease to speak unto all, so that they are without excuse. Romans 1:20 But more profoundly will You have mercy on whom You will have mercy, and compassion on whom You will have compassion, Romans 9:15 otherwise do both heaven and earth tell forth Your praises to deaf ears. But what is it that I love in loving You? Not corporeal beauty, nor the splendour of time, nor the radiance of the light, so pleasant to our eyes, nor the sweet melodies of songs of all kinds, nor the fragrant smell of flowers, and ointments, and spices, not manna and honey, not limbs pleasant to the embracements of flesh. I love not these things when I love my God; and yet I love a certain kind of light, and sound, and fragrance, and food, and embracement in loving my God, who is the light, sound, fragrance, food, and embracement of my inner man — where that light shines unto my soul which no place can contain, where that sounds which time snatches not away, where there is a fragrance which no breeze disperses, where there is a food which no eating can diminish, and where that clings which no satiety can sunder. This is what I love, when I love my God.

And what is this? I asked the earth, and it answered, "I am not He," and everything in it made the same confession. I asked the sea and the depths, and the living creatures that crawl, and they replied, "We are not your God; look higher than us." I asked the moving air, and the whole atmosphere with everything in it answered, "Anaximenes was wrong; I am not God." I asked the heavens, the sun, moon, and stars: "We are not the God you are looking for," they said. And I responded to all these things that stand at the threshold of my flesh, "You have told me about my God, that you are not He; tell me something about Him." And they cried out in a loud voice, "He made us." My questioning was my observation of them, and their beauty was their answer. Then I turned my thoughts to myself and said, "Who are you?" And I answered, "A man." And look, in me there appear both body and soul, one outward, the other inward. By which of these should I seek my God, whom I had sought through the body from earth to heaven, as far as I was able to send messengers—the beams of my eyes? But the better part is the inner; for to it, as both president and judge, all these bodily messengers of mine delivered the answers of heaven and earth and all things in them, who said, "We are not God, but He made us." My inner man knew these things through the service of the outer; I, the inner man, knew all this—I, the soul, through the senses of my body. I asked the vast mass of the earth about my God, and it answered me, "I am not He, but He made me."

9. And what is this? I asked the earth; and it answered, I am not He; and whatsoever are therein made the same confession. I asked the sea and the deeps, and the creeping things that lived, and they replied, We are not your God, seek higher than we. I asked the breezy air, and the universal air with its inhabitants answered, Anaximenes was deceived, I am not God. I asked the heavens, the sun, moon, and stars: Neither, say they, are we the God whom you seek? And I answered unto all these things which stand about the door of my flesh, You have told me concerning my God, that you are not He; tell me something about Him. And with a loud voice they exclaimed, He made us. My questioning was my observing of them; and their beauty was their reply. And I directed my thoughts to myself, and said, Who are you? And I answered, A man. And lo, in me there appear both body and soul, the one without, the other within. By which of these should I seek my God, whom I had sought through the body from earth to heaven, as far as I was able to send messengers — the beams of my eyes? But the better part is that which is inner; for to it, as both president and judge, did all these my corporeal messengers render the answers of heaven and earth and all things therein, who said, We are not God, but He made us. These things was my inner man cognizant of by the ministry of the outer; I, the inner man, knew all this — I, the soul, through the senses of my body. I asked the vast bulk of the earth of my God, and it answered me, I am not He, but He made me.

Is this beauty not visible to everyone whose senses are working properly? Why then does it not say the same things to everyone? Animals, both small and large, see it, but they cannot question it because their senses are not equipped with reason to help them judge what their senses report to them. But human beings can question it, so that the invisible things of Him are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made; but by loving these things, they become enslaved to them, and those who are enslaved cannot judge. The creatures do not answer those who question them unless they can judge, nor will they change their voice (that is, their beauty) if one person only sees while another both sees and questions, so that they would appear one way to this person and another way to that person. Rather, appearing the same way to both, they are silent to one but speak to the other—yes, truly, they speak to everyone, but only those who compare that voice received from outside with the truth within can understand. For the truth says to me: Neither heaven, nor earth, nor any body is your God. Their nature declares this to the one who looks at them. They are a mass, and a mass is less in its parts than in its whole. Now, O my soul, you are my better part, and it is to you I speak, for you give life to the mass of your body, which no body can give to another body. But your God is even to you the Life of life.

10. Is not this beauty visible to all whose senses are unimpaired? Why then does it not speak the same things unto all? Animals, the very small and the great, see it, but they are unable to question it, because their senses are not endowed with reason to enable them to judge on what they report. But men can question it, so that the invisible things of Him… are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made; Romans 1:20 but by loving them, they are brought into subjection to them; and subjects are not able to judge. Neither do the creatures reply to such as question them, unless they can judge; nor will they alter their voice (that is, their beauty), if so be one man only sees, another both sees and questions, so as to appear one way to this man, and another to that; but appearing the same way to both, it is mute to this, it speaks to that — yea, verily, it speaks unto all but they only understand it who compare that voice received from without with the truth within. For the truth declares unto me, Neither heaven, nor earth, nor any body is your God. This, their nature declares unto him that beholds them. They are a mass; a mass is less in part than in the whole. Now, O my soul, you are my better part, unto you I speak; for you animate the mass of your body, giving it life, which no body furnishes to a body but your God is even unto you the Life of life.

What then is it that I love when I love my God? Who is He who is above the head of my soul? I will mount up to Him through my soul itself. I will rise beyond that power of mine by which I cling to the body and fill its whole structure with life. I do not find my God through that power, for then the horse and the mule, which lack understanding, might also find Him, since it is the same power by which their bodies live as well. But there is another power—not only the one by which I give life, but also the one by which I give sensation to my flesh, which the Lord has made for me. He commands the eye not to hear and the ear not to see, but makes one for me to see with and the other for me to hear with, and gives to each of the other senses its own proper place and function. Though these are different, I, the single mind, govern through them. I will also rise beyond this power of mine, for the horse and mule possess this too, since they also perceive through the body.

11. What then is it that I love when I love my God? Who is He that is above the head of my soul? By my soul itself will I mount up unto Him. I will soar beyond that power of mine whereby I cling to the body, and fill the whole structure of it with life. Not by that power do I find my God; for then the horse and the mule, which have no understanding, might find Him, since it is the same power by which their bodies also live. But there is another power, not that only by which I quicken, but that also by which I endow with sense my flesh, which the Lord has made for me; bidding the eye not to hear, and the ear not to see; but that, for me to see by, and this, for me to hear by; and to each of the other senses its own proper seat and office, which being different, I, the single mind, do through them govern. I will soar also beyond this power of mine; for this the horse and mule possess, for they too discern through the body.

I will therefore rise beyond this natural power of mine as well, climbing step by step toward the One who made me. And I come into the fields and spacious rooms of memory, where the treasures of countless images are stored, brought into it from every kind of thing through the senses. There is also stored up whatever we think about, whether by expanding or reducing, or by altering in any way those things the senses have reached; and indeed, whatever else has been committed to memory and laid up there, which forgetfulness has not yet swallowed up and buried. When I am in this storehouse, I call for what I want to be brought out, and some things appear immediately; others need to be searched for longer and are pulled out, as it were, from some hidden storage place; still others rush forward in groups, and while I am looking for and asking for something different, they jump into view, as if to say, Perhaps it is us you want? These I push away with the hand of my heart from the face of my remembrance, until what I am looking for comes into view from its hidden place. Other things come to mind effortlessly and in unbroken sequence, exactly as they are called for—those in front making way for those that follow, and as they make way they are stored up again to be available when I want them. All of this happens when I recite something from memory.

12. I will soar, then, beyond this power of my nature also, ascending by degrees unto Him who made me. And I enter the fields and roomy chambers of memory, where are the treasures of countless images, imported into it from all manner of things by the senses. There is treasured up whatsoever likewise we think, either by enlarging or diminishing, or by varying in any way whatever those things which the sense has arrived at; yea, and whatever else has been entrusted to it and stored up, which oblivion has not yet engulfed and buried. When I am in this storehouse, I demand that what I wish should be brought forth, and some things immediately appear; others require to be longer sought after, and are dragged, as it were, out of some hidden receptacle; others, again, hurry forth in crowds, and while another thing is sought and inquired for, they leap into view, as if to say, Is it not we, perchance? These I drive away with the hand of my heart from before the face of my remembrance, until what I wish be discovered making its appearance out of its secret cell. Other things suggest themselves without effort, and in continuous order, just as they are called for — those in front giving place to those that follow, and in giving place are treasured up again to be forthcoming when I wish it. All of which takes place when I repeat a thing from memory.

All these things, each entering through its own pathway, are stored there distinctly and organized under general categories. For instance, light and all colors and shapes of bodies enter through the eyes; all kinds of sounds through the ears; all smells through the nostrils; all tastes through the mouth; and through the sensation of the whole body comes what is hard or soft, hot or cold, smooth or rough, heavy or light, whether outside or inside the body. This great storehouse of memory, with its many indescribable compartments, receives all these things to be recalled and brought back when needed. Each one, entering through its own doorway, is stored away inside. Yet the things themselves do not actually enter memory—only the images of the things perceived are kept there, ready for thought to recall. And who can explain how these images are formed, even though it is clear which sense brought each one in and stored it? For even while I am in darkness and silence, I can bring up colors in my memory if I want, and distinguish between black and white and whatever other colors I wish. Sounds do not break in and disturb what came in through my eyes and what I am now thinking about, since they too are stored there and kept separate, laid up apart. I can call these up too whenever I want, and they appear immediately. And even though my tongue is still and my throat is silent, I can sing as much as I like. Those images of colors, which are indeed stored there, do not push their way in and interrupt when I am considering another treasure that flowed in through the ears. In the same way, I recall at will the remaining things brought in and gathered up by the other senses. I can tell the scent of lilies from violets while smelling nothing at all, and I prefer honey to grape syrup, smooth things to rough ones, even though I am neither tasting nor touching anything, but only remembering.

13. All these things, each of which entered by its own avenue, are distinctly and under general heads there laid up: as, for example, light, and all colors and forms of bodies, by the eyes; sounds of all kinds by the ears; all smells by the passage of the nostrils; all flavours by that of the mouth; and by the sensation of the whole body is brought in what is hard or soft, hot or cold, smooth or rough, heavy or light, whether external or internal to the body. All these does that great receptacle of memory, with its many and indescribable departments, receive, to be recalled and brought forth when required; each, entering by its own door, is hid up in it. And yet the things themselves do not enter it, but only the images of the things perceived are there ready at hand for thought to recall. And who can tell how these images are formed, notwithstanding that it is evident by which of the senses each has been fetched in and treasured up? For even while I live in darkness and silence, I can bring out colors in memory if I wish, and discern between black and white, and what others I wish; nor yet do sounds break in and disturb what is drawn in by my eyes, and which I am considering, seeing that they also are there, and are concealed, laid up, as it were, apart. For these too I can summon if I please, and immediately they appear. And though my tongue be at rest, and my throat silent, yet can I sing as much as I will; and those images of colors, which notwithstanding are there, do not interpose themselves and interrupt when another treasure is under consideration which flowed in through the ears. So the remaining things carried in and heaped up by the other senses, I recall at my pleasure. And I discern the scent of lilies from that of violets while smelling nothing; and I prefer honey to grape-syrup, a smooth thing to a rough, though then I neither taste nor handle, but only remember.

These things I hold within, in that vast chamber of my memory. For there I have heaven, earth, sea, and whatever I can think about them, besides those things I have forgotten. There also I encounter myself and recall myself—what I did, when, and where I did something, and how I felt when I did it. There are all the things I remember, either from my own experience or based on what others have told me. From this same storehouse I construct, now one way, now another, likenesses of things I have either experienced myself or have believed based on my experience. And from these I also think about future actions, events, and hopes, and I reflect on all these as though they were present. I say to myself in that vast interior of my mind, filled with images of so many and such great things, "I will do this or that," and "this or that will follow from it." "If only this or that would happen!" "God prevent this or that!" This is how I speak to myself. And when I speak, the images of everything I am talking about are present, drawn from that same treasury of memory. I could not say anything at all about these things if the images were missing.

14. These things do I within, in that vast chamber of my memory. For there are near me heaven, earth, sea, and whatever I can think upon in them, besides those which I have forgotten. There also do I meet with myself, and recall myself — what, when, or where I did a thing, and how I was affected when I did it. There are all which I remember, either by personal experience or on the faith of others. Out of the same supply do I myself with the past construct now this, now that likeness of things, which either I have experienced, or, from having experienced, have believed; and thence again future actions, events, and hopes, and upon all these again do I meditate as if they were present. I will do this or that, say I to myself in that vast womb of my mind, filled with the images of things so many and so great, and this or that shall follow upon it. Oh that this or that might come to pass! God avert this or that! Thus speak I to myself; and when I speak, the images of all I speak about are present, out of the same treasury of memory; nor could I say anything at all about them were the images absent.

The power of memory is immense, exceedingly great, O my God—an inner chamber large and boundless! Who has measured its depths? Yet it is a power that is mine, and it belongs to my nature. But I do not myself comprehend all that I am. Therefore the mind is too limited to contain itself. And where would that part be which it does not contain of itself? Is it outside itself and not within itself? How is it, then, that it does not grasp itself? Great wonder rises up in me; astonishment seizes me. And people go out to marvel at the heights of mountains, the huge waves of the sea, the wide flow of rivers, the vastness of the ocean, and the movements of the stars, yet they fail to marvel at themselves. Nor do they wonder that when I spoke of all these things, I was not looking at them with my eyes, and yet I could not have spoken of them unless I saw inwardly in my memory those mountains, and waves, and rivers, and stars which I have seen, and that ocean which I believe exists—saw them with the same vast distances between them as when I saw them outside. But when I looked at them with my eyes, I did not draw them inside by seeing them. Nor are the things themselves within me, but their images. And I know by which bodily sense each one made an impression on me.

15. Great is this power of memory, exceeding great, O my God — an inner chamber large and boundless! Who has plumbed the depths thereof? Yet it is a power of mine, and appertains unto my nature; nor do I myself grasp all that I am. Therefore is the mind too narrow to contain itself. And where should that be which it does not contain of itself? Is it outside and not in itself? How is it, then, that it does not grasp itself? A great admiration rises upon me; astonishment seizes me. And men go forth to wonder at the heights of mountains, the huge waves of the sea, the broad flow of the rivers, the extent of the ocean, and the courses of the stars, and omit to wonder at themselves; nor do they marvel that when I spoke of all these things, I was not looking on them with my eyes, and yet could not speak of them unless those mountains, and waves, and rivers, and stars which I saw, and that ocean which I believe in, I saw inwardly in my memory, and with the same vast spaces between as when I saw them abroad. But I did not by seeing appropriate them when I looked on them with my eyes; nor are the things themselves with me, but their images. And I knew by what corporeal sense each made impression on me.

Yet not even all these things are what the unlimited capacity of my memory holds. Here also is everything I have learned from the liberal arts and have not yet forgotten—stored as if in an inner place, though it is not actually a place. What is retained here is not merely images but the things themselves. For whatever I know about literature, the skill of logical argument, and all the many kinds of questions there are exists in my memory in such a way that I have not merely taken in an image while leaving the actual thing outside, nor has it sounded and passed away like a voice that leaves an impression on the ear through which it might be recalled, as if it were still sounding when it no longer does. It is not like a scent that passes away and dissolves into the air, affecting the sense of smell and conveying an image of itself into the memory that we experience when recollecting. Nor is it like food that certainly has no taste once it is in the stomach, yet still has a kind of taste in the memory. Nor is it like anything felt by the body through touch, which the memory pictures even when removed from us. For these things themselves are not placed into the memory; rather, only their images are captured with astonishing speed and stored in the most wonderful storehouses, and then brought forth wonderfully when we remember.

16. And yet are not these all that the illimitable capacity of my memory retains. Here also is all that is apprehended of the liberal sciences, and not yet forgotten — removed as it were into an inner place, which is not a place; nor are they the images which are retained, but the things themselves. For what is literature, what skill in disputation, whatsoever I know of all the many kinds of questions there are, is so in my memory, as that I have not taken in the image and left the thing without, or that it should have sounded and passed away like a voice imprinted on the ear by that trace, whereby it might be recorded, as though it sounded when it no longer did so; or as an odour while it passes away, and vanishes into wind, affects the sense of smell, whence it conveys the image of itself into the memory, which we realize in recollecting; or like food, which assuredly in the belly has now no taste, and yet has a kind of taste in the memory, or like anything that is by touching felt by the body, and which even when removed from us is imagined by the memory. For these things themselves are not put into it, but the images of them only are caught up, with a marvellous quickness, and laid up, as it were, in most wonderful garners, and wonderfully brought forth when we remember.

When I hear that there are three kinds of questions—whether a thing exists, what it is, and what kind it is—I do hold onto the images of the sounds that make up these words, and I know that those sounds passed through the air with noise and are now gone. But the things themselves that these sounds signify, I never encountered through any bodily sense, nor did I perceive them any other way than through my mind. In my memory I have stored not their images, but the things themselves. How they entered me, let them explain if they can. For I examine all the gates of my body but cannot find through which one they entered. The eyes say, "If they were colored, we reported them." The ears say, "If they made sound, we announced them." The nostrils say, "If they had smell, they came through us." The sense of taste says, "If they have no flavor, don't ask me." The sense of touch says, "If it has no body, I didn't handle it, and if I never handled it, I gave no report of it." From where and how did these things enter my memory? I don't know. For when I learned them, I didn't trust another person's understanding, but I perceived them in my own mind. I recognized them as true and committed them to memory, storing them as if in a place from which I could retrieve them whenever I wanted. They were there, then, even before I learned them, but they were not in my memory. Where were they, then? And why, when they were spoken, did I recognize them and say, "Yes, that's right, that's true"—unless they were already in my memory, though pushed back and hidden in more secret depths, so that if they hadn't been drawn out by someone else's instruction, I might not have been able to think of them?

17. But truly when I hear that there are three kinds of questions, Whether a thing is?– what it is?– of what kind it is? I do indeed hold fast the images of the sounds of which these words are composed, and I know that those sounds passed through the air with a noise, and now are not. But the things themselves which are signified by these sounds I never arrived at by any sense of the body, nor ever perceived them otherwise than by my mind; and in my memory have I laid up not their images, but themselves, which, how they entered into me, let them tell if they are able. For I examine all the gates of my flesh, but find not by which of them they entered. For the eyes say, If they were colored, we announced them. The ears say, If they sounded, we gave notice of them. The nostrils say, If they smell, they passed in by us. The sense of taste says, If they have no flavour, ask not me. The touch says, If it have not body, I handled it not, and if I never handled it, I gave no notice of it. Whence and how did these things enter into my memory? I know not how. For when I learned them, I gave not credit to the heart of another man, but perceived them in my own; and I approved them as true, and committed them to it, laying them up, as it were, whence I might fetch them when I willed. There, then, they were, even before I learned them, but were not in my memory. Where were they, then, or wherefore, when they were spoken, did I acknowledge them, and say, So it is, it is true, unless as being already in the memory, though so put back and concealed, as it were, in more secret caverns, that had they not been drawn forth by the advice of another I would not, perchance, have been able to conceive of them?

Therefore we find that learning these things—whose images we do not absorb through our senses but perceive within as they are in themselves, without images—is nothing other than gathering them together through reflection and, by careful attention, ensuring that those concepts which the memory previously contained in a scattered and confused way are stored within reach in that same memory, where they previously lay hidden, scattered, and neglected. In this way they present themselves more easily to the mind that has become accustomed to observing them. And how many things of this kind does my memory retain that have already been discovered and, as I said, are stored ready at hand, which we are said to have learned and to have known? Yet if we stop recalling them even for brief periods of time, they become submerged again and slip back into more remote compartments. They must then be drawn out from there again as if they were new (for they have no other place), and must be gathered together again so that they may become known. That is to say, they must be collected from their dispersed state—which is why we have the word cogitare. For cogo (I collect) and cogito (I recollect) have the same relationship to each other as ago and agito, facio and factito. But the mind has claimed this word for itself, so that properly speaking, cogitation refers not to what is collected anywhere, but to what is collected—that is, marshalled—in the mind.

18. Wherefore we find that to learn these things, whose images we drink not in by our senses, but perceive within as they are by themselves, without images, is nothing else but by meditation as it were to concentrate, and by observing to take care that those notions which the memory did before contain scattered and confused, be laid up at hand, as it were, in that same memory, where before they lay concealed, scattered and neglected, and so the more easily present themselves to the mind well accustomed to observe them. And how many things of this sort does my memory retain which have been found out already, and, as I said, are, as it were, laid up ready to hand, which we are said to have learned and to have known; which, should we for small intervals of time cease to recall, they are again so submerged and slide back, as it were, into the more remote chambers, that they must be evolved thence again as if new (for other sphere they have none), and must be marshalled [ cogenda] again that they may become known; that is to say, they must be collected [ colligenda], as it were, from their dispersion; whence we have the word cogitare. For cogo [ I collect] and cogito [ I recollect] have the same relation to each other as ago and agito, facio and factito. But the mind has appropriated to itself this word [cogitation], so that not that which is collected anywhere, but what is collected, that is marshalled, in the mind, is properly said to be cogitated.

The memory also contains the principles and countless laws of numbers and measurements, none of which have been impressed on it through any bodily sense, since they have no color, sound, taste, smell, or touch. I have heard the sounds of the words people use to describe these things when discussing them, but the sounds are different from the things themselves. The sounds are one thing in Greek, another in Latin, but the things themselves are neither Greek nor Latin nor any other language. I have seen the lines drawn by craftsmen, even the very fine ones like a spider's web, but mathematical lines are different—they are not images of what my physical eye has shown me. Anyone who perceives them within himself without any concept of a physical body knows what they are. I have also perceived the numbers we use to count things with all our bodily senses, but the numbers by which we count are something different and are not images of physical things, and therefore they truly exist. Let anyone who cannot see these things mock me for saying this, and I will pity him even as he mocks me.

19. The memory contains also the reasons and innumerable laws of numbers and dimensions, none of which has any sense of the body impressed, seeing they have neither color, nor sound, nor taste, nor smell, nor sense of touch. I have heard the sound of the words by which these things are signified when they are discussed; but the sounds are one thing, the things another. For the sounds are one thing in Greek, another in Latin; but the things themselves are neither Greek, nor Latin, nor any other language. I have seen the lines of the craftsmen, even the finest, like a spider's web; but these are of another kind, they are not the images of those which the eye of my flesh showed me; he knows them who, without any idea whatsoever of a body, perceives them within himself. I have also observed the numbers of the things with which we number all the senses of the body; but those by which we number are of another kind, nor are they the images of these, and therefore they certainly are. Let him who sees not these things mock me for saying them; and I will pity him, while he mocks me.

All these things I keep in my memory, and I also keep in my memory how I learned them. I also retain many things that I have heard falsely objected against them, and though these objections are false, it is not false that I remember them. I also remember that I have distinguished between those truths and these falsehoods spoken against them. And I now see that it is one thing to distinguish these things, and another thing to remember that I often distinguished them when I often thought about them. So I both remember that I have often understood these things, and what I now distinguish and comprehend I store away in my memory so that in the future I may remember that I understand it now. Therefore I also remember that I have remembered, so that if later on I recall that I was able to remember these things, it will be through the power of memory that I recall it.

20. All these things I retain in my memory, and how I learned them I retain. I retain also many things which I have heard most falsely objected against them, which though they be false, yet is it not false that I have remembered them; and I remember, too, that I have distinguished between those truths and these falsehoods uttered against them; and I now see that it is one thing to distinguish these things, another to remember that I often distinguished them, when I often reflected upon them. I both remember, then, that I have often understood these things, and what I now distinguish and comprehend I store away in my memory, that hereafter I may remember that I understood it now. Therefore also I remember that I have remembered; so that if afterwards I shall call to mind that I have been able to remember these things, it will be through the power of memory that I shall call it to mind.

This same memory also contains the affections of my mind, but not in the same way the mind itself contains them when it experiences them. Rather, memory contains them very differently, according to a power that belongs specifically to memory. For without being joyous, I remember that I once had joy, and without being sad, I recall past sadness. I remember what I once feared without feeling fear, and I recall a former desire without experiencing desire. Conversely, sometimes when I am joyous I remember past sadness, and when I am sad I remember past joy. This is not surprising when it concerns the body, since the mind is one thing and the body is another. Therefore, if I am happy and recall some past bodily pain, this is not so strange. But now, since this very memory itself is mind—for when we tell someone to remember something, we say "Keep this in mind," and when we forget something, we say "It didn't come to mind" or "It slipped my mind," thus calling memory itself mind—since this is the case, how does it happen that when I am joyful and remember my past sorrow, the mind has joy and the memory has sorrow? The mind is joyful because of the joy that is in it, yet the memory is not sad because of the sadness that is in it. Does memory perhaps not belong to the mind? Who would say such a thing? Memory is, so to speak, the stomach of the mind, and joy and sadness are like sweet and bitter food. When these are entrusted to memory, they are as if passed into the stomach, where they can be stored but cannot be tasted. It is absurd to think these things are exactly alike, yet they are not completely unlike either.

21. This same memory contains also the affections of my mind; not in the manner in which the mind itself contains them when it suffers them, but very differently according to a power peculiar to memory. For without being joyous, I remember myself to have had joy; and without being sad, I call to mind my past sadness; and that of which I was once afraid, I remember without fear; and without desire recall a former desire. Again, on the contrary, I at times remember when joyous my past sadness, and when sad my joy. Which is not to be wondered at as regards the body; for the mind is one thing, the body another. If I, therefore, when happy, recall some past bodily pain, it is not so strange a thing. But now, as this very memory itself is mind (for when we give orders to have a thing kept in memory, we say, See that you bear this in mind; and when we forget a thing, we say, It did not enter my mind, and, It slipped from my mind, thus calling the memory itself mind), as this is so, how comes it to pass that when being joyful I remember my past sorrow, the mind has joy, the memory sorrow — the mind, from the joy than is in it, is joyful, yet the memory, from the sadness that is in it, is not sad? Does not the memory perchance belong unto the mind? Who will say so? The memory doubtless is, so to say, the belly of the mind, and joy and sadness like sweet and bitter food, which, when entrusted to the memory, are, as it were, passed into the belly, where they can be reposited, but cannot taste. It is ridiculous to imagine these to be alike; and yet they are not utterly unlike.

When I draw from my memory, I can state that there are four disturbances of the mind—desire, joy, fear, and sorrow. Whatever I am able to discuss about these, by dividing each into its specific types and defining it, I find what I need to say there and draw it out from memory. Yet I am not disturbed by any of these emotions when I recall them and bring them to mind. Before I recollected and reviewed them, they were already there in my memory, which is why they could be brought forth through remembering. Perhaps, just as food is brought back up from the stomach in rumination, these are drawn out from the memory by recalling them. Why then does the person discussing these things not experience in the mouth of his meditation the sweetness of joy or the bitterness of sorrow? Is the comparison different because it is not alike in every respect? For who would willingly talk about these subjects if, whenever we mention sorrow or fear, we were forced to become sorrowful or fearful? Yet we could never speak of them if we did not find in our memory not just the sounds of the names, according to the images impressed on it by the bodily senses, but the concepts of the things themselves. We never received these through any gateway of the flesh, but rather the mind itself, recognizing them through the experience of its own emotions, entrusted them to the memory—or else the memory itself retained them without their being entrusted to it.

22. But behold, out of my memory I educe it, when I affirm that there be four perturbations of the mind — desire, joy, fear, sorrow; and whatsoever I shall be able to dispute on these, by dividing each into its peculiar species, and by defining it, there I find what I may say, and thence I educe it; yet am I not disturbed by any of these perturbations when by remembering them I call them to mind; and before I recollected and reviewed them, they were there; wherefore by remembrance could they be brought thence. Perchance, then, even as meat is in ruminating brought up out of the belly, so by calling to mind are these educed from the memory. Why, then, does not the disputant, thus recollecting, perceive in the mouth of his meditation the sweetness of joy or the bitterness of sorrow? Is the comparison unlike in this because not like in all points? For who would willingly discourse on these subjects, if, as often as we name sorrow or fear, we should be compelled to be sorrowful or fearful? And yet we could never speak of them, did we not find in our memory not merely the sounds of the names, according to the images imprinted on it by the senses of the body, but the notions of the things themselves, which we never received by any door of the flesh, but which the mind itself, recognising by the experience of its own passions, entrusted to the memory, or else which the memory itself retained without their being entrusted to it.

But whether things are present through images or not, who can confidently say? When I name a stone or the sun, the things themselves are not present to my senses, but their images are close at hand in my memory. When I name some bodily pain, the pain itself is not present if there is no pain occurring, yet if its image were not in my memory, I would not know what to say about it, nor would I be able in discussion to distinguish it from pleasure. When I name bodily health while being in good health, the thing itself is indeed present with me, but unless its image were also in my memory, I could in no way recall what the sound of this word meant. Nor would sick people understand what was being said when health was mentioned, unless the same image were retained by the power of memory, even though the thing itself were absent from the body. When I name numbers that we use for counting, it is not their images but the numbers themselves that are in my memory. When I name the image of the sun, this too is in my memory. For I do not recall the image of that image, but the image itself, because the image itself is present when I remember it. When I name memory, I know what I am naming. But where do I know it, except in the memory itself? Is memory also present to itself through its image, and not through itself?

23. But whether by images or no, who can well affirm? For I name a stone, I name the sun, and the things themselves are not present to my senses, but their images are near to my memory. I name some pain of the body, yet it is not present when there is no pain; yet if its image were not in my memory, I should be ignorant what to say concerning it, nor in arguing be able to distinguish it from pleasure. I name bodily health when sound in body; the thing itself is indeed present with me, but unless its image also were in my memory, I could by no means call to mind what the sound of this name signified. Nor would sick people know, when health was named, what was said, unless the same image were retained by the power of memory, although the thing itself were absent from the body. I name numbers whereby we enumerate; and not their images, but they themselves are in my memory. I name the image of the sun, and this, too, is in my memory. For I do not recall the image of that image, but itself, for the image itself is present when I remember it. I name memory, and I know what I name. But where do I know it, except in the memory itself? Is it also present to itself by its image, and not by itself?

When I name forgetfulness and also know what I am naming, how would I know it unless I remembered it? I don't mean the sound of the name, but the thing it signifies—which, if I had forgotten it, I could not know what that sound meant. Therefore, when I remember memory, memory is present with itself, through itself. But when I remember forgetfulness, both memory and forgetfulness are present—memory, by which I remember, and forgetfulness, which I remember. But what is forgetfulness except the privation of memory? How, then, is it present for me to remember, since when it is present, I cannot remember? Yet if we retain in memory what we remember, and unless we remembered forgetfulness we could never know the thing meant by the name when we hear it, then forgetfulness is retained by memory. Therefore it is present, so that we should not forget it; and being present, we do forget. Should we conclude from this that forgetfulness, when we remember it, is not present to the memory through itself, but through its image? For if forgetfulness were present through itself, it would not lead us to remember, but to forget. Who will now investigate this? Who can understand how it is?

24. When I name forgetfulness, and know, too, what I name, whence should I know it if I did not remember it? I do not say the sound of the name, but the thing which it signifies which, had I forgotten, I could not know what that sound signified. When, therefore, I remember memory, then is memory present with itself, through itself. But when I remember forgetfulness, there are present both memory and forgetfulness — memory, whereby I remember, forgetfulness, which I remember. But what is forgetfulness but the privation of memory? How, then, is that present for me to remember, since, when it is so, I cannot remember? But if what we remember we retain in memory, yet, unless we remembered forgetfulness, we could never at the hearing of the name know the thing meant by it, then is forgetfulness retained by memory. Present, therefore, it is, lest we should forget it; and being so, we do forget. Is it to be inferred from this that forgetfulness, when we remember it, is not present to the memory through itself, but through its image; because, were forgetfulness present through itself, it would not lead us to remember, but to forget? Who will now investigate this? Who shall understand how it is?

Truly, Lord, I labor in this matter, and I labor within myself. I have become difficult ground requiring too much work. For we are not now searching out the regions of heaven, or measuring the distances of the stars, or asking about the weight of the earth. It is I myself—I, the mind—who remembers. It should not be so surprising if what I myself am not is far from me. But what is closer to me than myself? And yet, look, I cannot grasp the power of my own memory, even though I cannot name myself without it. For what shall I say when it is clear to me that I remember forgetfulness? Shall I claim that what I remember is not in my memory? Or shall I say that forgetfulness is in my memory so that I will not forget? Both of these are completely absurd. What third option is there? How can I claim that the image of forgetfulness is kept by my memory, and not forgetfulness itself, when I remember it? And how can I claim this, given that when the image of anything is impressed on the memory, the thing itself must necessarily be present first so that its image may be impressed? For this is how I remember Carthage; this is how I remember all the places where I have been; this is how I remember the faces of people I have seen, and things reported by my other senses; this is how I remember the health or sickness of the body. For when these objects were present, my memory received images from them, which I could look at and think about in my mind, when I remembered them after they were absent. If, therefore, forgetfulness is kept in the memory through its image, and not through itself, then it must once have been present, so that its image might be captured. But when it was present, how did it write its image on the memory, since forgetfulness by its presence erases even what it finds already recorded? And yet, in whatever way, though it is incomprehensible and inexplicable, I am most certain that I also remember forgetfulness itself, by which what we do remember is erased.

25. Truly, O Lord, I labour therein, and labour in myself. I have become a troublesome soil that requires overmuch labour. For we are not now searching out the tracts of heaven, or measuring the distances of the stars, or inquiring about the weight of the earth. It is I myself — I, the mind — who remember. It is not much to be wondered at, if what I myself am not be far from me. But what is nearer to me than myself? And, behold, I am not able to comprehend the force of my own memory, though I cannot name myself without it. For what shall I say when it is plain to me that I remember forgetfulness? Shall I affirm that which I remember is not in my memory? Or shall I say that forgetfulness is in my memory with the view of my not forgetting? Both of these are most absurd. What third view is there? How can I assert that the image of forgetfulness is retained by my memory, and not forgetfulness itself, when I remember it? And how can I assert this, seeing that when the image of anything is imprinted on the memory, the thing itself must of necessity be present first by which that image may be imprinted? For thus do I remember Carthage; thus, all the places to which I have been; thus, the faces of men whom I have seen, and things reported by the other senses; thus, the health or sickness of the body. For when these objects were present, my memory received images from them, which, when they were present, I might gaze on and reconsider in my mind, as I remembered them when they were absent. If, therefore, forgetfulness is retained in the memory through its image, and not through itself, then itself was once present, that its image might be taken. But when it was present, how did it write its image on the memory, seeing that forgetfulness by its presence blots out even what it finds already noted? And yet, in whatever way, though it be incomprehensible and inexplicable, yet most certain I am that I remember also forgetfulness itself, whereby what we do remember is blotted out.

The power of memory is great; it is truly wonderful, O my God, a deep and infinitely complex thing. This thing is the mind, and this I myself am. What then am I, O my God? What is my nature? A life that is varied, manifold, and immeasurably vast. Look at the countless fields, caves, and caverns of my memory, filled beyond measure with numberless kinds of things—whether through images, as with all physical bodies; or through the actual presence of the things themselves, as with learned skills; or through some concept or awareness, as with the emotions of the mind, which the memory retains even when the mind is not experiencing them, since whatever is in the memory is also in the mind. Through all these I run back and forth and move quickly; I probe in every direction as far as I can, and there is no end. So great is the power of memory, so great is the power of life in mortal man. What then shall I do, O You my true life, my God? I will pass even beyond this power of mine which is called memory—I will pass beyond it so that I may come to You, O sweet Light. What do You say to me? Look, I am rising up through my mind toward You who remain above me. I will also pass beyond this power of mine which is called memory, desiring to reach You from where You can be reached, and to cling to You from where it is possible to cling to You. For even beasts and birds possess memory; otherwise they could never find their dens and nests again, nor many other things they are accustomed to. Indeed, they could not become accustomed to anything except through their memory. I will pass beyond memory as well, so that I may reach Him who has separated me from the four-footed beasts and the birds of the air, making me wiser than they. I will pass beyond memory also, but where shall I find You, O truly good and certain sweetness? But where shall I find You? If I find You without memory, then I am forgetful of You. And how then shall I find You if I do not remember You?

26. Great is the power of memory; very wonderful is it, O my God, a profound and infinite manifoldness; and this thing is the mind, and this I myself am. What then am I, O my God? Of what nature am I? A life various and manifold, and exceeding vast. Behold, in the numberless fields, and caves, and caverns of my memory, full without number of numberless kinds of things, either through images, as all bodies are; or by the presence of the things themselves, as are the arts; or by some notion or observation, as the affections of the mind are, which, even though the mind does not suffer, the memory retains, while whatsoever is in the memory is also in the mind: through all these do I run to and fro, and fly; I penetrate on this side and that, as far as I am able, and nowhere is there an end. So great is the power of memory, so great the power of life in man, whose life is mortal. What then shall I do, O Thou my true life, my God? I will pass even beyond this power of mine which is called memory — I will pass beyond it, that I may proceed to You, O Thou sweet Light. What sayest Thou to me? Behold, I am soaring by my mind towards You who remainest above me. I will also pass beyond this power of mine which is called memory, wishful to reach You whence You can be reached, and to cleave unto You whence it is possible to cleave unto You. For even beasts and birds possess memory, else could they never find their lairs and nests again, nor many other things to which they are used; neither indeed could they become used to anything, but by their memory. I will pass, then, beyond memory also, that I may reach Him who has separated me from the four-footed beasts and the fowls of the air, making me wiser than they. I will pass beyond memory also, but where shall I find You, O Thou truly good and assured sweetness? But where shall I find You? If I find You without memory, then am I unmindful of You. And how now shall I find You, if I do not remember You?

The woman who lost her drachma and searched for it with a lamp would never have found it unless she had remembered it. When it was found, how could she know whether it was the same coin if she had not remembered it? I remember losing and finding many things myself, and I know from experience that when I was searching for any of them and someone asked, "Is this it? Is that it?" I said no until the thing I was looking for was shown to me. If I had not remembered it—whatever it was—even if it were shown to me, I would not have found it because I could not recognize it. This is always how it works when we search for and find anything that is lost. However, if something is lost from sight by accident but not from memory—like any visible object—the image of it is kept within us and is searched for until it is seen again. When it is found, it is recognized by the image that is within us. We do not say we have found what we lost unless we recognize it, and we cannot recognize it unless we remember it. But this thing, though lost to sight, was kept in the memory.

27. For the woman who lost her drachma, and searched for it with a lamp, Luke 15:8 unless she had remembered it, would never have found it. For when it was found, whence could she know whether it were the same, had she not remembered it? I remember to have lost and found many things; and this I know thereby, that when I was searching for any of them, and was asked, Is this it? Is that it? I answered No, until such time as that which I sought were offered to me. Which had I not remembered — whatever it were — though it were offered me, yet would I not find it, because I could not recognise it. And thus it is always, when we search for and find anything that is lost. Notwithstanding, if anything be by accident lost from the sight, not from the memory, — as any visible body — the image of it is retained within, and is searched for until it be restored to sight; and when it is found, it is recognised by the image which is within. Nor do we say that we have found what we had lost unless we recognise it; nor can we recognise it unless we remember it. But this, though lost to the sight, was retained in the memory.

But what happens when the memory itself loses something, as occurs when we forget something and try to recall it? Where do we ultimately search, except in the memory itself? And there, if by chance one thing is offered instead of another, we reject it until we find what we are looking for. When we do find it, we say, "This is it!"—which we would not do unless we recognized it, nor would we recognize it unless we remembered it. Clearly, then, we had forgotten it. Or perhaps not all of it had slipped from our memory, but through the part we still held onto, the other part was being sought. The memory sensed that it was not working together as fully as it usually does, and stumbling as if from the disruption of its old pattern, it demanded the restoration of what was missing. For instance, if we see or think of someone we know and have forgotten his name and try to recover it, whatever other name comes to mind has no connection with him. Since it was not usually thought of in connection with him, it is rejected, until the name appears on which our knowledge rests appropriately as its familiar object. And from where does that name appear, if not from the memory itself? For even when we recognize it after being reminded of it by someone else, it comes from there. We do not receive it as something new, but as we recall it, we acknowledge that what was said is correct. But if it had been completely erased from the mind, we would not recollect it even when reminded of it. For we have not yet entirely forgotten what we remember that we have forgotten. A lost idea, then, which we have completely forgotten, we cannot even search for.

28. But how is it when the memory itself loses anything, as it happens when we forget anything and try to recall it? Where finally do we search, but in the memory itself? And there, if perchance one thing be offered for another, we refuse it, until we meet with what we seek; and when we do, we exclaim, This is it! which we should not do unless we knew it again, nor should we recognise it unless we remembered it. Assuredly, therefore, we had forgotten it. Or, had not the whole of it slipped our memory, but by the part by which we had hold was the other part sought for; since the memory perceived that it did not revolve together as much as it was accustomed to do, and halting, as if from the mutilation of its old habit, demanded the restoration of that which was wanting. For example, if we see or think of some man known to us, and, having forgotten his name, endeavour to recover it, whatsoever other thing presents itself is not connected with it; because it was not used to be thought of in connection with him, and is consequently rejected, until that is present whereon the knowledge reposes fittingly as its accustomed object. And whence, save from the memory itself, does that present itself? For even when we recognise it as put in mind of it by another, it is thence it comes. For we do not believe it as something new, but, as we recall it, admit what was said to be correct. But if it were entirely blotted out of the mind, we should not, even when put in mind of it, recollect it. For we have not as yet entirely forgotten what we remember that we have forgotten. A lost notion, then, which we have entirely forgotten, we cannot even search for.

How, then, do I seek You, O Lord? For when I seek You, my God, I seek a happy life. I will seek You, so that my soul may live. For my body lives by my soul, and my soul lives by You. How, then, do I seek a happy life, since it is not mine until I can say, "It is enough!" in that place where I should say it? How do I seek it? Is it by remembering, as if I had forgotten it, while also knowing that I had forgotten it? Or am I longing to learn it as something unknown—something I had never known, or had forgotten so completely that I don't even remember having forgotten it? Is not a happy life what everyone desires, and is there anyone who does not desire it at all? But where did they learn about it, that they desire it so much? Where have they seen it, that they love it so? We truly have it, but I don't know how. Yes, there is another way: when someone has it, he is happy. And some people are happy in hope. These have it in a lesser way than those who are actually happy, yet they are better off than those who are happy neither in reality nor in hope. And even these people, if they did not have it in some way, would not desire so much to be happy—which they most certainly do desire. How they come to know it, I cannot say, but they have it through some kind of knowledge unknown to me, and I am in great doubt whether it exists in the memory. For if it is there, then we have been happy at some point—whether all of us individually, or in that man who first sinned, in whom we all died, and from whom we are all born into misery, I do not now ask. But I do ask whether the happy life exists in the memory. For if we did not know it, we would not love it. We hear the word, and we all recognize that we desire the thing itself, for we are not pleased merely by the sound. When a Greek hears it spoken in Latin, he is not delighted, because he does not know what is being said. But we are delighted, just as he would be if he heard it in Greek, because the thing itself is neither Greek nor Latin—it is what Greeks and Latins and people of all other languages long so earnestly to obtain. It is therefore known to everyone, and if they could all be asked with one voice whether they wished to be happy, they would without doubt all answer that they would. And this could not be unless the thing itself, of which it is the name, were kept in their memory.

29. How, then, do I seek You, O Lord? For when I seek You, my God, I seek a happy life. I will seek You, that my soul may live. Amos 5:4 For my body lives by my soul, and my soul lives by You. How, then, do I seek a happy life, seeing that it is not mine till I can say, It is enough! in that place where I ought to say it? How do I seek it? Is it by remembrance, as though I had forgotten it, knowing too that I had forgotten it? Or, longing to learn it as a thing unknown, which either I had never known, or had so forgotten it as not even to remember that I had forgotten it? Is not a happy life the thing that all desire, and is there any one who altogether desires it not? But where did they acquire the knowledge of it, that they so desire it? Where have they seen it, that they so love it? Truly we have it, but how I know not. Yea, there is another way in which, when any one has it, he is happy; and some there be that are happy in hope. These have it in an inferior kind to those that are happy in fact; and yet are they better off than they who are happy neither in fact nor in hope. And even these, had they it not in some way, would not so much desire to be happy, which that they do desire is most certain. How they come to know it, I cannot tell, but they have it by some kind of knowledge unknown to me, who am in much doubt as to whether it be in the memory; for if it be there, then have we been happy once; whether all individually, or as in that man who first sinned, in whom also we all died, and from whom we are all born with misery, I do not now ask; but I ask whether the happy life be in the memory? For did we not know it, we should not love it. We hear the name, and we all acknowledge that we desire the thing; for we are not delighted with the sound only. For when a Greek hears it spoken in Latin, he does not feel delighted, for he knows not what is spoken; but we are delighted, as he too would be if he heard it in Greek; because the thing itself is neither Greek nor Latin, which Greeks and Latins, and men of all other tongues, long so earnestly to obtain. It is then known unto all, and could they with one voice be asked whether they wished to be happy, without doubt they would all answer that they would. And this could not be unless the thing itself, of which it is the name, were retained in their memory.

But is it like how someone who has seen Carthage remembers it? No, because a happy life is not visible to the eye, since it is not a body. Is it, then, like how we remember numbers? No, because someone who knows numbers doesn't strive to obtain them further. But we have a happy life in our knowledge, and therefore we love it, yet we still wish to attain it further so that we may be happy. Is it, then, like how we remember eloquence? No. Although some people, when they hear this word, recall the thing—people who are not yet eloquent themselves, and many who wish to become eloquent (which shows it is in their knowledge)—these people have noticed through their bodily senses that others are eloquent, been delighted by it, and desire to be the same. They would not be delighted except through some interior knowledge, nor would they desire it unless they were delighted. But we cannot experience a happy life in others through any bodily sense. Is it, then, like how we remember joy? Perhaps so, for I remember my joy even when I am sad, just as I remember a happy life when I am miserable. I never saw, heard, smelled, tasted, or touched my joy with any bodily sense, but I experienced it in my mind when I rejoiced. The knowledge of it stuck in my memory, so that I can recall it sometimes with contempt and other times with desire, depending on the nature of the things in which I now remember I rejoiced. For I have even been filled with a certain joy from impure things, which I now recall with disgust and hatred. At other times, I recall joy from good and honest things, which I remember with longing, even though those things may not be present now, and then I recall that former joy with sadness.

30. But is it so as one who has seen Carthage remembers it? No. For a happy life is not visible to the eye, because it is not a body. Is it, then, as we remember numbers? No. For he that has these in his knowledge strives not to attain further; but a happy life we have in our knowledge, and, therefore, do we love it, while yet we wish further to attain it that we may be happy. Is it, then, as we remember eloquence? No. For although some, when they hear this name, call the thing to mind, who, indeed, are not yet eloquent, and many who wish to be so, whence it appears to be in their knowledge; yet have these by their bodily perceptions noticed that others are eloquent, and been delighted with it, and long to be so — although they would not be delighted save for some interior knowledge, nor desire to be so unless they were delighted — but a happy life we can by no bodily perception make experience of in others. Is it, then, as we remember joy? It may be so; for my joy I remember, even when sad, like as I do a happy life when I am miserable. Nor did I ever with perception of the body either see, hear, smell, taste, or touch my joy; but I experienced it in my mind when I rejoiced; and the knowledge of it clung to my memory, so that I can call it to mind sometimes with disdain and at others with desire, according to the difference of the things wherein I now remember that I rejoiced. For even from unclean things have I been bathed with a certain joy, which now calling to mind, I detest and execrate; at other times, from good and honest things, which, with longing, I call to mind, though perchance they be not near at hand, and then with sadness do I call to mind a former joy.

Where and when did I experience my happy life, that I can recall it to mind and love it and long for it? It's not just me alone or a few others who want to be happy, but truly everyone. Unless we knew this by certain knowledge, we wouldn't desire it with such a certain will. But how is it that if two people are asked whether they would like to serve as soldiers, one might answer yes and the other no, yet if they were asked whether they would like to be happy, both would say yes without hesitation? And one person wants to serve while the other doesn't for no other reason than to be happy. Perhaps it's that just as one person finds joy in this and another in that, all people agree in their desire for happiness, just as they would agree, if asked, in wanting to have joy—and they call this joy a happy life. So although one person pursues joy in one way and another in a different way, everyone has one goal they strive to reach: to have joy. Since this life is something no one can say they haven't experienced, it is for this reason found in the memory and recognized whenever the name of a happy life is heard.

31. Where and when, then, did I experience my happy life, that I should call it to mind, and love and long for it? Nor is it I alone or a few others who wish to be happy, but truly all; which, unless by certain knowledge we knew, we should not wish with so certain a will. But how is this, that if two men be asked whether they would wish to serve as soldiers one, it may be, would reply that he would, the other that he would not; but if they were asked whether they would wish to be happy, both of them would unhesitatingly say that they would; and this one would wish to serve, and the other not, from no other motive but to be happy? Is it, perchance, that as one joys in this, and another in that, so do all men agree in their wish for happiness, as they would agree, were they asked, in wishing to have joy — and this joy they call a happy life? Although, then, one pursues joy in this way, and another in that, all have one goal, which they strive to attain, namely, to have joy. This life, being a thing which no one can say he has not experienced, it is on that account found in the memory, and recognised whenever the name of a happy life is heard.

Let it be far, O Lord—let it be far from the heart of Your servant who confesses to You; let it be far from me to think myself happy, whatever the joy may be. For there is a joy which is not given to the wicked, but to those who worship You thankfully, whose joy You Yourself are. And the happy life is this—to rejoice unto You, in You, and for You; this it is, and there is no other. But those who think there is another pursue a different joy, and not the true one. Yet their will is still drawn toward some shadow of joy.

32. Let it be far, O Lord, — let it be far from the heart of Your servant who confesses unto You; let it be far from me to think myself happy, be the joy what it may. For there is a joy which is not granted to the wicked, Isaiah 48:22 but to those who worship You thankfully, whose joy You Yourself art. And the happy life is this — to rejoice unto You, in You, and for You; this it is, and there is no other. But those who think there is another follow after another joy, and that not the true one. Their will, however, is not turned away from some shadow of joy.

It is not certain, then, that all people wish to be happy, since those who do not wish to rejoice in You—which is the only happy life—do not truly desire the happy life. Or do all desire this, but because the flesh lusts against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh, so that they cannot do what they want to do, they settle for what they are able to do and are content with that? This happens because they do not will strongly enough what they cannot do to make themselves able to do it. I ask every person whether they would rather rejoice in truth or in falsehood. They will say without hesitation "in truth," just as quickly as they say they wish to be happy. For a happy life is joy in the truth. This is joy in You, who are the truth, O God, my light, the health of my countenance, and my God. Everyone wishes for this happy life; everyone wishes for this life, which is the only happy one; everyone wishes for joy in the truth. I have known many who wished to deceive, but not one who wished to be deceived. Where, then, did they come to know this happy life, except where they also knew the truth? For they love it too, since they would not want to be deceived. And when they love a happy life, which is nothing other than joy in the truth, they certainly also love the truth. Yet they would not love it if there were not some knowledge of it in their memory. Why, then, do they not rejoice in it? Why are they not happy? Because they are more fully occupied with other things that make them miserable rather than with that which would make them happy, which they remember so little of. For there is still a little light in people; let them walk—let them walk, so that the darkness does not overtake them.

33. It is not, then, certain that all men wish to be happy, since those who wish not to rejoice in You, which is the only happy life, do not verily desire the happy life. Or do all desire this, but because the flesh lusts against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh, so that they cannot do the things that they would, Galatians 5:17 they fall upon that which they are able to do, and with that are content; because that which they are not able to do, they do not so will as to make them able? For I ask of every man, whether he would rather rejoice in truth or in falsehood. They will no more hesitate to say, in truth, than to say, that they wish to be happy. For a happy life is joy in the truth. For this is joy in You, who art the truth, John 14:6 O God, my light, the health of my countenance, and my God. All wish for this happy life; this life do all wish for, which is the only happy one; joy in the truth do all wish for. I have had experience of many who wished to deceive, but not one who wished to be deceived. Where, then, did they know this happy life, save where they knew also the truth? For they love it, too, since they would not be deceived. And when they love a happy life, which is naught else but joy in the truth, assuredly they love also the truth; which yet they would not love were there not some knowledge of it in the memory. Wherefore, then, do they not rejoice in it? Why are they not happy? Because they are more entirely occupied with other things which rather make them miserable, than that which would make them happy, which they remember so little of. For there is yet a little light in men; let them walk — let them walk, that the darkness seize them not. John 12:35

Why, then, does truth create hatred, and why does that man of yours who preaches the truth become an enemy to them, even though the happy life is loved, which is nothing other than joy in the truth? The answer is that truth is loved only in the sense that those who love something else want that thing they love to be the truth. And because they are willing to be deceived, they are unwilling to be convinced that they are deceived. Therefore they hate the truth for the sake of that thing which they love instead of the truth. They love truth when she shines on them, and hate her when she rebukes them. Because they do not want to be deceived but do want to deceive, they love truth when she reveals herself, and hate her when she reveals them. For this reason she will repay them in kind: those who did not want to be discovered by her, she discovers against their will, and she does not reveal herself to them. This is truly how the human mind—so blind and sick, so base and unseemly—desires to lie hidden, but does not want anything to be hidden from it. But the opposite happens: the mind itself is not hidden from the truth, but the truth is hidden from it. Yet even while in this wretched state, it prefers to rejoice in truth rather than in falsehood. Happy then will it be when, with no trouble intervening, it shall rejoice in that truth alone by whom all other things are true.

34. Why, then, does truth beget hatred and that man of yours, John 8:40 preaching the truth become an enemy unto them, whereas a happy life is loved, which is naught else but joy in the truth; unless that truth is loved in such a sort as that those who love anything else wish that to be the truth which they love, and, as they are willing to be deceived, are unwilling to be convinced that they are so? Therefore do they hate the truth for the sake of that thing which they love instead of the truth. They love truth when she shines on them, and hate her when she rebukes them. For, because they are not willing to be deceived, and wish to deceive, they love her when she reveals herself, and hate her when she reveals them. On that account shall she so requite them, that those who were unwilling to be discovered by her she both discovers against their will, and discovers not herself unto them. Thus, thus, truly thus does the human mind, so blind and sick, so base and unseemly, desire to lie concealed, but wishes not that anything should be concealed from it. But the opposite is rendered unto it — that itself is not concealed from the truth, but the truth is concealed from it. Yet, even while thus wretched, it prefers to rejoice in truth rather than in falsehood. Happy then will it be, when, no trouble intervening, it shall rejoice in that only truth by whom all things else are true.

Here is how I have searched extensively in my memory for You, O Lord, and I have not found You outside of it. Nor have I found anything about You except what I have kept in memory since the time I first learned of You. For since the time I learned of You, I have never forgotten You. For where I found truth, there I found my God, who is Truth itself, and since the time I learned this truth, I have not forgotten it. And so since the time I learned of You, You remain in my memory, and there I find You whenever I bring You to mind and take joy in You. These are my holy joys, which You have given me in Your mercy, showing regard for my poverty.

35. Behold how I have enlarged in my memory seeking You, O Lord; and out of it have I not found You. Nor have I found anything concerning You, but what I have retained in memory from the time I learned You. For from the time I learned You have I never forgotten You. For where I found truth, there found I my God, who is the Truth itself, which from the time I learned it have I not forgotten. And thus since the time I learned You, You abide in my memory; and there do I find You whenever I call You to remembrance, and delight in You. These are my holy delights, which You have bestowed upon me in Your mercy, having respect unto my poverty.

But where in my memory do You live, O Lord? Where do You live there? What kind of room have You made for Yourself there? What kind of sanctuary have You built for Yourself? You have given this honor to my memory, to make Your dwelling in it; but I am trying to figure out in what part of it You live. For when I called You to mind, I rose above those parts of memory that even animals have, since I did not find You there among the images of physical things. And I came to those parts where I had stored the emotions of my mind, but I did not find You there either. And I entered into the very seat of my mind itself, which exists in my memory, since the mind also remembers itself—but You were not there either. For just as You are not a physical image, nor the emotion of a living creature, like when we rejoice, grieve, desire, fear, remember, forget, or anything like that, so You are not the mind itself either, because You are the Lord God of the mind. And all these things change, but You remain unchangeable over all, yet You graciously agree to dwell in my memory, from the time I learned about You. But why am I now trying to find in what part of it You dwell, as if there were truly places in it? You certainly dwell in it, since I have remembered You from the time I learned about You, and I find You in it when I call You to mind.

36. But where in my memory do You abide, O Lord? Where do You there abide? What manner of chamber have You there formed for Yourself? What sort of sanctuary have You erected for Yourself? You have granted this honour to my memory, to take up Your abode in it; but in what quarter of it You abide, I am considering. For in calling You to mind, I soared beyond those parts of it which the beasts also possess, since I found You not there among the images of corporeal things; and I arrived at those parts where I had committed the affections of my mind, nor there did I find You. And I entered into the very seat of my mind, which it has in my memory, since the mind remembers itself also — nor were You there. For as You are not a bodily image, nor the affection of a living creature, as when we rejoice, condole, desire, fear, remember, forget, or anything of the kind; so neither are You the mind itself, because You are the Lord God of the mind; and all these things are changed, but You remain unchangeable over all, yet vouchsafe to dwell in my memory, from the time I learned You. But why do I now seek in what part of it You dwell, as if truly there were places in it? You dwell in it assuredly, since I have remembered You from the time I learned You, and I find You in it when I call You to mind.

Where, then, did I find You so that I could learn about You? You were not already in my memory before I learned about You. So where did I find You in order to learn about You, except in You above me? There is no physical place involved. We move backward and forward, yet there is no place. Everywhere, O Truth, You guide all who seek Your counsel, and You answer everyone at once, even though they consult You about different things. You answer clearly, though not everyone hears with clarity. Everyone consults You about whatever they want, though they don't always hear what they want to hear. Your best servant is not the one who mainly tries to hear from You what he himself wants, but rather the one who wants what he hears from You.

37. Where, then, did I find You, so as to be able to learn You? For You were not in my memory before I learned You. Where, then, did I find You, so as to be able to learn You, but in You above me? Place there is none; we go both backward and forward, Job 23:8 and there is no place. Everywhere, O Truth, do You direct all who consult You, and at once answer all, though they consult You on various things. Clearly do You answer, though all do not with clearness hear. All consult You upon whatever they wish, though they hear not always that which they wish. He is Your best servant who does not so much look to hear that from You which he himself wishes, as to wish that which he hears from You.

Too late I loved You, O Beauty so ancient and yet so new! Too late I loved You! For look, You were within me, and I was outside, and that is where I searched for You. In my ugliness, I rushed carelessly among the beautiful things You made. You were with me, but I was not with You. Those things kept me far from You—things which would not exist at all unless they existed in You. You called out and cried loudly, and broke through my deafness. You flashed and shone brightly, and drove away my blindness. You breathed out fragrance, and I drew breath and now pant for You. I tasted, and now I hunger and thirst. You touched me, and I burned with desire for Your peace.

38. Too late did I love You, O Fairness, so ancient, and yet so new! Too late did I love You! For behold, You were within, and I without, and there did I seek You; I, unlovely, rushed heedlessly among the things of beauty You made. You were with me, but I was not with You. Those things kept me far from You, which, unless they were in You, were not. You called, and cried aloud, and forced open my deafness. You gleamed and shine, and chase away my blindness. You exhaled odours, and I drew in my breath and do pant after You. I tasted, and do hunger and thirst. You touched me, and I burned for Your peace.

When I cling to You with my entire being, I will have no pain or struggle, and my life will be truly alive, completely filled with You. But now, since You lift up the one You fill, I am a burden to myself because I am not full of You. Joys mixed with sorrow battle against sorrows mixed with joy, and I don't know which side will win. How miserable I am! Lord, have mercy on me. My evil sorrows fight against my good joys, and I don't know which side will win. How miserable I am! Lord, have mercy on me. How miserable I am! Look, I don't hide my wounds—You are the Physician, I am the sick person; You are merciful, I am wretched. Isn't human life on earth a temptation? Who wants troubles and hardships? You command us to endure them, not to love them. No one loves what he endures, though he may love the act of enduring. Even though someone may rejoice in enduring, he would prefer to have nothing to endure. In hard times, I want good times; in good times, I fear hard times. What middle ground exists between these where human life is not a temptation? Woe to worldly prosperity, once and twice over, because of the fear of disaster and the spoiling of joy! Woe to worldly adversity, once and twice and three times over, because of the desire for prosperity, and because adversity itself is a harsh thing that destroys our ability to endure! Isn't human life on earth a temptation, and one that never stops?

39. When I shall cleave unto You with all my being, then shall I in nothing have pain and labour; and my life shall be a real life, being wholly full of You. But now since he whom Thou fillest is the one Thou liftest up, I am a burden to myself, as not being full of You. Joys of sorrow contend with sorrows of joy; and on which side the victory may be I know not. Woe is me! Lord, have pity on me. My evil sorrows contend with my good joys; and on which side the victory may be I know not. Woe is me! Lord, have pity on me. Woe is me! Lo, I hide not my wounds; You are the Physician, I the sick; Thou merciful, I miserable. Is not the life of man upon earth a temptation? Who is he that wishes for vexations and difficulties? You command them to be endured, not to be loved. For no man loves what he endures, though he may love to endure. For notwithstanding he rejoices to endure, he would rather there were naught for him to endure. In adversity, I desire prosperity; in prosperity, I fear adversity. What middle place, then, is there between these, where human life is not a temptation? Woe unto the prosperity of this world, once and again, from fear of misfortune and a corruption of joy! Woe unto the adversities of this world, once and again, and for the third time, from the desire of prosperity; and because adversity itself is a hard thing, and makes shipwreck of endurance! Is not the life of man upon earth a temptation, and that without intermission?

And my whole hope is only in your exceedingly great mercy. Give what you command, and command what you will. You impose continency upon us, nevertheless, when I perceived, says one, that I could not otherwise obtain her, except God gave her to me—that was also a point of wisdom to know whose gift she was. For by continency we are bound up and brought into one, whereas we were scattered abroad into many. For he loves you too little who loves anything along with you, which he does not love for your sake. O love, who always burns and is never quenched! O charity, my God, kindle me! You command continency; give what you command, and command what you will.

40. And my whole hope is only in Your exceeding great mercy. Give what You command, and command what You will. Thou imposest continency upon us, nevertheless, when I perceived, says one, that I could not otherwise obtain her, except God gave her me;… that was a point of wisdom also to know whose gift she was. Wisdom 8:21 For by continency are we bound up and brought into one, whence we were scattered abroad into many. For he loves You too little who loves anything with You, which he loves not for You, O love, who ever burnest, and art never quenched! O charity, my God, kindle me! You command continency; give what You command, and command what You will.

You truly command that I should be self-controlled regarding the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. You have commanded me to abstain from sexual relationships outside marriage, and concerning marriage itself, You have recommended something better than what You have permitted. And because You granted it, it was accomplished, even before I became a minister of Your sacrament. But images of such things that my former habits implanted there still exist in my memory—which I have discussed at length. These images invade my thoughts while I am awake, though they are powerless. But in sleep they do so not only to give pleasure, but even to obtain my consent, and they come very close to resembling reality. Indeed, the illusion of these images prevails so strongly in both my soul and my flesh that when sleeping, false visions persuade me to do what true realities cannot persuade me to do when awake. Am I not still myself at that time, O Lord my God? And yet there is such a great difference between myself and myself in that moment when I pass from waking to sleeping or return from sleeping to waking. Where, then, is the reason that resists such suggestions when I am awake? And if these things themselves are forced upon it, I remain unmoved. Is reason shut up with my eyes? Or does it fall asleep along with my bodily senses? But how, then, does it happen that even in sleep we often resist, keeping our purpose in mind and remaining completely chaste in it, yielding no consent to such temptations? And yet there is still such a great difference that when something else happens, upon waking we return to peace of conscience. By this very difference we discover that we were not the ones who did it, though we still feel regret that somehow it was done in us.

41. Verily, You command that I should be continent from the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. You have commanded me to abstain from concubinage; and as to marriage itself, You have advised something better than You have allowed. And because You gave it, it was done; and that before I became a dispenser of Your sacrament. But there still exist in my memory — of which I have spoken much — the images of such things as my habits had fixed there; and these rush into my thoughts, though strengthless, when I am awake; but in sleep they do so not only so as to give pleasure, but even to obtain consent, and what very nearly resembles reality. Yea, to such an extent prevails the illusion of the image, both in my soul and in my flesh, that the false persuade me, when sleeping, unto that which the true are not able when waking. Am I not myself at that time, O Lord my God? And there is yet so much difference between myself and myself, in that instant wherein I pass back from waking to sleeping, or return from sleeping to waking! Where, then, is the reason which when waking resists such suggestions? And if the things themselves be forced on it, I remain unmoved. Is it shut up with the eyes? Or is it put to sleep with the bodily senses? But whence, then, comes it to pass, that even in slumber we often resist, and, bearing our purpose in mind, and continuing most chastely in it, yield no assent to such allurements? And there is yet so much difference that, when it happens otherwise, upon awaking we return to peace of conscience; and by this same diversity do we discover that it was not we that did it, while we still feel sorry that in some way it was done in us.

Can't your hand, Almighty God, heal all the diseases of my soul and quench even the lustful impulses of my sleep through your more abundant grace? You will increase your gifts in me more and more, Lord, so that my soul may follow me to you, freed from the sticky trap of concupiscence. Then it will not rebel against itself, and even in dreams will not commit those deforming acts of corruption through sensual images, leading even to physical pollution, but will not even consent to them. For it is no great thing for the Almighty, who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, to bring it about that no such influence—not even one so slight that a mere sign could restrain it—should give pleasure to the chaste affection even of someone who is sleeping, and that not only in this life but even at my present age. But what I still am in this kind of evil, I have confessed to my good Lord, rejoicing with trembling in what you have given me and grieving over what remains imperfect in me, trusting that you will complete your mercies in me, even to the fullness of peace, which both what is within and what is without will have with you when death is swallowed up in victory.

42. Is not Your hand able, O Almighty God, to heal all the diseases of my soul, and by Your more abundant grace to quench even the lascivious motions of my sleep? You will increase in me, O Lord, Your gifts more and more, that my soul may follow me to You, disengaged from the bird-lime of concupiscence; that it may not be in rebellion against itself, and even in dreams not simply not, through sensual images, commit those deformities of corruption, even to the pollution of the flesh, but that it may not even consent unto them. For it is no great thing for the Almighty, who is able to do… above all that we ask or think, Ephesians 3:20 to bring it about that no such influence — not even so slight a one as a sign might restrain — should afford gratification to the chaste affection even of one sleeping; and that not only in this life, but at my present age. But what I still am in this species of my ill, have I confessed unto my good Lord; rejoicing with trembling in that which You have given me, and bewailing myself for that wherein I am still imperfect; trusting that You will perfect Your mercies in me, even to the fullness of peace, which both that which is within and that which is without shall have with You, when death is swallowed up in victory. 1 Corinthians 15:54

There is another evil of the day that I wish were sufficient for it. For through eating and drinking we repair the daily losses of the body, until You destroy both food and stomach, when You will end my need with a wonderful fullness, and will clothe this corruptible body with eternal incorruption. But now necessity is pleasant to me, and I fight against this pleasantness so that I will not be enslaved by it. I wage a daily battle through fasting, often bringing my body under control, and my pains are driven out by pleasure. For hunger and thirst are in a sense pains; they wear down and destroy like a fever, unless the medicine of food relieves us. Since this relief is available through the consolation we receive from Your gifts, by which land and water and air serve our weakness, our misery is called pleasure.

43. There is another evil of the day that I would were sufficient unto it. Matthew 6:34 For by eating and drinking we repair the daily decays of the body, until Thou destroyest both food and stomach, when You shall destroy my want with an amazing satiety, and shall clothe this corruptible with an eternal incorruption. 1 Corinthians 15:54 But now is necessity sweet unto me, and against this sweetness do I fight, lest I be enthralled; and I carry on a daily war by fasting, oftentimes bringing my body into subjection, 1 Corinthians 9:27 and my pains are expelled by pleasure. For hunger and thirst are in some sort pains; they consume and destroy like a fever, unless the medicine of nourishment relieve us. The which, since it is at hand through the comfort we receive of Your gifts, with which land and water and air serve our infirmity, our calamity is called pleasure.

You have taught me this much: that I should approach eating food as if it were medicine. But during the time I am moving from the discomfort of hunger to the calm of being satisfied—even in that very transition—the trap of concupiscence lies waiting for me. For the transition itself is pleasurable, and there is no other way to reach that place where necessity compels us to go. And while health is the reason for eating and drinking, a dangerous delight attaches itself as a servant. This delight usually tries to go ahead of health, so that I end up doing for pleasure's sake what I claim I am doing, or want to do, for the sake of health. The two do not have the same limit, because what is enough for health is too little for pleasure. And often it is unclear whether it is the necessary care of the body that still requires food, or whether a sensual trap of desire is offering its services. In this uncertainty my unhappy soul finds satisfaction and prepares an excuse as a defense, glad that it is not obvious what would be enough for the moderation of health, so that under the pretense of health it can hide the pursuit of pleasure. I struggle against these temptations daily, and I call on your right hand to help me, and I bring my stirrings to you, because I still have no settled resolution in this matter.

44. This much have You taught me, that I should bring myself to take food as medicine. But during the time that I am passing from the uneasiness of want to the calmness of satiety, even in the very passage does that snare of concupiscence lie in wait for me. For the passage itself is pleasure, nor is there any other way of passing there, whither necessity compels us to pass. And whereas health is the reason of eating and drinking, there joins itself as an hand-maid a perilous delight, which mostly tries to precede it, in order that I may do for her sake what I say I do, or desire to do, for health's sake. Nor have both the same limit; for what is sufficient for health is too little for pleasure. And oftentimes it is doubtful whether it be the necessary care of the body which still asks nourishment, or whether a sensual snare of desire offers its ministry. In this uncertainty does my unhappy soul rejoice, and therein prepares an excuse as a defense, glad that it does not appear what may be Sufficient for the moderation of health, that so under the pretence of health it may conceal the business of pleasure. These temptations do I daily endeavour to resist, and I summon Your right hand to my help, and refer my excitements to You, because as yet I have no resolve in this matter.

I hear the voice of my God commanding, "Let not your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness." Drunkenness is far from me; You will have mercy, that it not come near me. But surfeiting sometimes creeps upon Your servant; You will have mercy, that it may be far from me. For no one can be continent unless You give it. You give us many things we pray for, and whatever good we receive before we prayed for it, we receive from You, and we receive it from You so that we might afterward know this. I was never a drunkard, but I have known drunkards made sober by You. It was Your doing, then, that those who never were such might not become so, just as it was from You that those who had been so before might not remain so always. And it was from You, too, that both might know from whom it came. I heard another voice of Yours: "Go not after your lusts, but refrain yourself from your appetites." And by Your favor I have heard this saying also, which has delighted me much: "Neither if we eat are we the better, neither if we eat not are we the worse," which means that the one will not make me abound, nor the other make me wretched. I also heard another voice: "For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound… I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Behold, a soldier of the heavenly army—not dust as we are! But remember, O Lord, that we are dust, and that from dust You have created man, and he was lost and is found. Nor could he do this by his own power, seeing that he whom I so loved, saying these things through the breath of Your inspiration, was of that same dust. "I can," he says, "do all things through Him which strengthens me." Strengthen me, that I may be able. Give what You command, and command what You will. He confesses to have received, and when he boasts, he boasts in the Lord. I have heard another entreating that he might receive: "Take from me," he says, "the greediness of the belly," by which it appears, O my holy God, that You give when what You command to be done is done.

45. I hear the voice of my God commanding, let not your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness. Luke 21:34 Drunkenness, it is far from me; You will have mercy, that it approach not near unto me. But surfeiting sometimes creeps upon Your servant; You will have mercy, that it may be far from me. For no man can be continent unless Thou give it. Wisdom 8:21 You give us many things which we pray for; and whatever good we receive before we prayed for it, do we receive from You, and that we might afterwards know this did we receive it from You. Drunkard was I never, but I have known drunkards to be made sober men by You. Your doing, then, was it, that they who never were such might not be so, as from You it was that they who have been so heretofore might not remain so always; and from You, too was it, that both might know from whom it was. I heard another voice of Yours, Go not after your lusts, but refrain yourself from your appetites. Sirach 18:30 And by Your favour have I heard this saying likewise, which I have much delighted in, Neither if we eat, are we the better; neither if we eat not, are we the worse; 1 Corinthians 8:8 which is to say, that neither shall the one make me to abound, nor the other to be wretched. I heard also another voice, For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content, I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound… I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Philippians 4:11-14 Lo! A soldier of the celestial camp — not dust as we are. But remember, O Lord, that we are dust, and that of dust You have created man; Genesis 3:19 and he was lost, and is found. Luke 15:32 Nor could he do this of his own power, seeing that he whom I so loved, saying these things through the afflatus of Your inspiration, was of that same dust. I can, says he, do all things through Him which strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 Strengthen me, that I may be able. Give what You command, and command what You will. He confesses to have received, and when he glories, he glories in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:31 Another have I heard entreating that he might receive — Take from me, says he, the greediness of the belly; Sirach 23:6 by which it appears, O my holy God, that You give when what You command to be done is done.

You have taught me, good Father, that for the pure all things are pure, but it is evil for anyone who eats and causes offense. Every creature you made is good, and nothing should be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving. Food does not commend us to God. No one should judge us in matters of food or drink, and whoever eats should not despise the one who does not eat, and whoever does not eat should not judge the one who eats. I have learned these things—thanks and praise to you, O my God and Master, who knock at my ears and enlighten my heart. Deliver me from all temptation. It is not the uncleanness of food that I fear, but the uncleanness of lust. I know that Noah was given permission to eat every kind of flesh that was good for food, that Elijah was fed with flesh, that John, gifted with remarkable abstinence, was not polluted by the living creatures—the locusts—on which he fed. I also know that Esau was deceived by his craving for lentils, that David blamed himself for desiring water, and that our King was tempted not by flesh but by bread. The people in the wilderness likewise deserved reproof, not because they desired flesh, but because in their desire for food they grumbled against the Lord.

46. You have taught me, good Father, that unto the pure all things are pure; Titus 1:15 but it is evil for that man who eats with offense; Romans 14:20 and that every creature of Yours is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with, thanksgiving; 1 Timothy 4:4 and that meat commends us not to God; 1 Corinthians 8:8 and that no man should judge us in meat or in drink; Colossians 2:16 and that he that eats, let him not despise him that eats not; and let not him that eats not judge him that eats. Romans 13:23 These things have I learned, thanks and praise be unto You, O my God and Master, who dost knock at my ears and enlighten my heart; deliver me out of all temptation. It is not the uncleanness of meat that I fear, but the uncleanness of lusting. I know that permission was granted unto Noah to eat every kind of flesh that was good for food; Genesis 9:3 that Elias was fed with flesh; 1 Kings 17:6 that John, endued with a wonderful abstinence, was not polluted by the living creatures (that is, the locusts Matthew 3:4) which he fed on. I know, too, that Esau was deceived by a longing for lentiles, Genesis 25:34 and that David took blame to himself for desiring water, 2 Samuel 23:15-17 and that our King was tempted not by flesh but bread. Matthew 4:3 And the people in the wilderness, therefore, also deserved reproof, not because they desired flesh, but because, in their desire for food, they murmured against the Lord. Numbers xi

Caught in the middle of these temptations, I struggle daily against cravings for food and drink. This is not something I can simply decide to cut off completely and never touch again, as I was able to do with sexual immorality. The control of the throat must therefore be held at a middle point between being too loose and too tight. And who, O Lord, is not carried away at least somewhat beyond the limits of what is necessary? Whoever that person is, he is great; let him praise your name. But I am not such a person, for I am a sinful man. Yet I also praise your name, and he who has overcome the world intercedes to you for my sins, counting me among the weak members of his body, because your eyes saw what was imperfect in him, and in your book all will be written.

47. Placed, then, in the midst of these temptations, I strive daily against longing for food and drink. For it is not of such a nature as that I am able to resolve to cut it off once for all, and not touch it afterwards, as I was able to do with concubinage. The bridle of the throat, therefore, is to be held in the mean of slackness and tightness. And who, O Lord, is he who is not in some degree carried away beyond the bounds of necessity? Whoever he is, he is great; let him magnify Your name. But I am not such a one, for I am a sinful man. Luke 5:8 Yet do I also magnify Your name; and He who has overcome the world John 16:33 makes intercession to You for my sins, Romans 8:34 accounting me among the feeble members of His body, 1 Corinthians 12:22 because Your eyes saw that of him which was imperfect; and in Your book all shall be written.

With the attractions of scents I am not much troubled. When they are absent I do not seek them; when they are present I do not refuse them; and I am prepared always to be without them. At any rate this is how I appear to myself; perhaps I am deceived. For that too is a lamentable darkness in which my capacity that is within me is concealed, so that my mind, inquiring into itself concerning its own powers, does not venture readily to trust itself; because what is already in it is, for the most part, concealed, unless experience reveals it. And no one ought to feel secure in this life, the whole of which is called a temptation, that he who could be made better from worse may not also be made worse from better. Our sole hope, our sole confidence, our sole assured promise, is Your mercy.

48. With the attractions of odours I am not much troubled. When absent I do not seek them; when present I do not refuse them; and am prepared ever to be without them. At any rate thus I appear to myself; perchance I am deceived. For that also is a lamentable darkness wherein my capacity that is in me is concealed, so that my mind, making inquiry into herself concerning her own powers, ventures not readily to credit herself; because that which is already in it is, for the most part, concealed, unless experience reveal it. And no man ought to feel secure in this life, the whole of which is called a temptation, that he, who could be made better from worse, may not also from better be made worse. Our sole hope, our sole confidence, our sole assured promise, is Your mercy.

The delights of the ear had powerfully ensnared and conquered me, but You have unbound and freed me. Now, when I hear those melodies that Your words breathe life into, sung with a sweet and skilled voice, I find some rest in them—yet not so much that I cling to them, but rather so that I can free myself when I want to. But these melodies, together with the words that give them life, seek a place of honor in my heart in order to gain entry into me, and I can barely give them an appropriate place. Sometimes I seem to give them more respect than is proper, because I notice that our minds are lifted up more devoutly and earnestly into the flame of piety by the holy words themselves when they are sung this way than when they are not sung, and that all the emotions of our spirit have their proper rhythms in the voice and singing according to their own variety, by which they are stirred through some hidden connection. But the pleasure of my flesh, to which the mind should never surrender itself to be weakened, often deceives me. The senses do not follow reason patiently as they should; instead, having been allowed in only for reason's sake, the pleasure of the flesh tries to run ahead and lead. In these matters I sin without knowing it, but afterwards I recognize it.

49. The delights of the ear had more powerfully inveigled and conquered me, but You unbound and liberate me. Now, in those airs which Your words breathe soul into, when sung with a sweet and trained voice, do I somewhat repose; yet not so as to cling to them, but so as to free myself when I wish. But with the words which are their life do they, that they may gain admission into me, strive after a place of some honour in my heart; and I can hardly assign them a fitting one. Sometimes I appear to myself to give them more respect than, is fitting, as I perceive that our minds are more devoutly and earnestly elevated into a flame of piety by the holy words themselves when they are thus sung, than when they are not; and that all affections of our spirit, by their own diversity, have their appropriate measures in the voice and singing, wherewith by I know not what secret relationship they are stimulated. But the gratification of my flesh, to which the mind ought never to be given over to be enervated, often beguiles me, while the sense does not so attend on reason as to follow her patiently; but having gained admission merely for her sake, it strives even to run on before her, and be her leader. Thus in these things do I sin unknowing, but afterwards do I know it.

Sometimes, on the other hand, I am overly strict in trying to avoid this deception, and I go too far in the opposite direction. At times I even wish that all the pleasant melodies used with David's Psalms could be banished from my ears and from the Church itself. The approach that seemed safer to me was the one I often heard attributed to Athanasius, Bishop of Alexandria, who required the psalm reader to use such a slight vocal inflection that it was more like speaking than singing. However, when I remember the tears I shed at the songs of Your Church when I first recovered my faith, and how even now I am moved not by the singing itself but by the words being sung, when they are sung with a clear and skillfully modulated voice, I recognize the great value of this practice. So I waver between dangerous pleasure and proven soundness, being inclined rather (though I am not making a final judgment on this matter) to approve of the use of singing in church, so that through the delight of the ear, weaker minds may be stirred to a devotional attitude. Yet when it happens that I am more moved by the singing than by what is sung, I confess that I have sinned seriously, and at such times I would rather not have heard the singing. See what condition I am in! Weep with me, and weep for me, you who control your inner feelings in such a way that good results follow. For those of you who do not act this way, these things do not concern you. But You, O Lord my God, listen, look and see, and have mercy on me, and heal me—You, in whose sight I have become a puzzle to myself, and this is my weakness.

50. Sometimes, again, avoiding very earnestly this same deception, I err out of too great preciseness; and sometimes so much as to desire that every air of the pleasant songs to which David's Psalter is often used, be banished both from my ears and those of the Church itself; and that way seemed unto me safer which I remembered to have been often related to me of Athanasius, Bishop of Alexandria, who obliged the reader of the psalm to give utterance to it with so slight an inflection of voice, that it was more like speaking than singing. Notwithstanding, when I call to mind the tears I shed at the songs of Your Church, at the outset of my recovered faith, and how even now I am moved not by the singing but by what is sung, when they are sung with a clear and skilfully modulated voice, I then acknowledge the great utility of this custom. Thus vacillate I between dangerous pleasure and tried soundness; being inclined rather (though I pronounce no irrevocable opinion upon the subject) to approve of the use of singing in the church, that so by the delights of the ear the weaker minds may be stimulated to a devotional frame. Yet when it happens to me to be more moved by the singing than by what is sung, I confess myself to have sinned criminally, and then I would rather not have heard the singing. See now the condition I am in! Weep with me, and weep for me, you who so control your inward feelings as that good results ensue. As for you who do not thus act, these things concern you not. But You, O Lord my God, give ear, behold and see, and have mercy upon me, and heal me, — Thou, in whose sight I have become a puzzle to myself; and this is my infirmity.

What remains are the pleasures of these physical eyes of mine, about which I make my confession within the hearing of the ears of Your temple—those brotherly and devout ears—and so complete my discussion of the temptations of the lust of the flesh which still attack me, as I groan and long to be clothed with my house from heaven. The eyes take pleasure in beautiful and varied shapes, and in bright and attractive colors. Don't let these things take control of my soul; rather, let God possess it, He who made these things very good indeed. Yet He is my good, not these things. These things affect me while I'm awake during the day, and I'm given no rest from them as I sometimes am from musical sounds in silence, from all of them. For light, that queen of colors, flooding everything we look at, wherever I am during the day, passing by me in countless forms, soothes me when I'm occupied with other things and not paying attention to it. And it works its way in so powerfully that if it's suddenly taken away, I look for it with longing, and if it's absent for a long time, it saddens my mind.

51. There remain the delights of these eyes of my flesh, concerning which to make my confessions in the hearing of the ears of Your temple, those fraternal and devout ears; and so to conclude the temptations of the lust of the flesh 1 John 2:16 which still assail me, groaning and desiring to be clothed upon with my house from heaven. 2 Corinthians 5:2 The eyes delight in fair and varied forms, and bright and pleasing colors. Suffer not these to take possession of my soul; let God rather possess it, He who made these things very good Genesis 1:31 indeed; yet is He my good, not these. And these move me while awake, during the day; nor is rest from them granted me, as there is from the voices of melody, sometimes, in silence, from them all. For that queen of colors, the light, flooding all that we look upon, wherever I be during the day, gliding past me in manifold forms, does soothe me when busied about other things, and not noticing it. And so strongly does it insinuate itself, that if it be suddenly withdrawn it is looked for longingly, and if long absent does sadden the mind.

You are the Light that Tobias saw when, though his physical eyes were closed, he taught his son the way of life, going before him with feet guided by love and never straying. Or the Light that Isaac saw when his bodily eyes were dim and unable to see because of old age—he was permitted not to bless his sons knowingly, but in the act of blessing them to recognize them. Or the Light that Jacob saw when he too was blind from great age but with an enlightened heart. In blessing his own sons, he shed light on the future races of people they prefigured, and he laid his hands in a mystical crossing on his grandchildren through Joseph—not as their father who looked only outwardly would have corrected them, but as he himself inwardly discerned. This is the true Light, the only one, and all who see and love it are one. But that physical light I have been speaking of sweetens the life of this world for its blind lovers with a tempting and deadly pleasure. However, those who know how to praise You for it, O God, the great Builder of the world, take it up in their hymn to You and are not carried away by it in their sleep. I want to be like them. I resist the seductions of the eyes so that my feet, with which I walk on Your path, will not be trapped. I lift my invisible eyes to You, asking that You pull my feet out of the snare. You continually pull them out, because they are constantly being ensnared. You never stop pulling them out, while I constantly remain caught in the traps set all around me—because You who keep Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

52. O Thou Light, which Tobias saw, Tobit iv when, his eyes being closed, he taught his son the way of life; himself going before with the feet of charity, never going astray. Or that which Isaac saw, when his fleshly eyes were dim, so that he could not see Genesis 27:1 by reason of old age; it was permitted him, not knowingly to bless his sons, but in blessing them to know them. Or that which Jacob saw, when he too, blind through great age, with an enlightened heart, in the persons of his own sons, threw light upon the races of the future people, presignified in them; and laid his hands, mystically crossed, upon his grandchildren by Joseph, not as their father, looking outwardly, corrected them, but as he himself distinguished them. Genesis 48:13-19 This is the light, the only one, and all those who see and love it are one. But that corporeal light of which I was speaking seasons the life of the world for her blind lovers, with a tempting and fatal sweetness. But they who know how to praise You for it, O God, the world's great Architect, take it up in Your hymn, and are not taken up with it in their sleep. Such desire I to be. I resist seductions of the eyes, lest my feet with which I advance on Your way be entangled; and I raise my invisible eyes to You, that You would be pleased to pluck my feet out of the net. Thou dost continually pluck them out, for they are ensnared. Thou never ceasest to pluck them out, but I, constantly remain fast in the snares set all around me; because Thou that keepest Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

Countless things have been made through various arts and crafts—in our clothing, shoes, containers, and every kind of work, in paintings and all sorts of images—and these go far beyond what is necessary, moderate, or serves a holy purpose. People have created these things to captivate the eyes, pursuing outwardly what they make while inwardly abandoning the One who made them, and even destroying what they themselves were made to be. But I, my God and my Joy, sing a hymn to You for this reason as well, and offer a sacrifice of praise to You who make me holy, because those beautiful patterns that pass through human souls into the hands of artists flow from that Beauty which is above our souls—the Beauty my soul longs for day and night. Those who make and admire these outward beauties derive from that source the ability to recognize beauty, but not how to use it rightly. And though they do not see Him, He is there so that they will not go astray but will keep their strength for You instead of wasting it on pleasures that weaken them. And I, though I both say this and understand it, still get tripped up by such beauties, but You rescue me, O Lord, You rescue me, for Your loving-kindness is before my eyes. I am caught miserably, and You rescue me mercifully—sometimes without my even noticing it, because I had encountered these things uncertainly, and at other times with pain, because I was held tightly by them.

53. What numberless things, made by various arts and manufactures, both in our apparel, shoes, vessels, and every kind of work, in pictures, too, and sundry images, and these going far beyond necessary and moderate use and holy signification, have men added for the enthralment of the eyes; following outwardly what they make, forsaking inwardly Him by whom they were made, yea, and destroying that which they themselves were made! But I, O my God and my Joy, do hence also sing a hymn unto You, and offer a sacrifice of praise unto my Sanctifier, because those beautiful patterns, which through the medium of men's souls are conveyed into their artistic hands, emanate from that Beauty which is above our souls, which my soul sighs after day and night. But as for the makers and followers of those outward beauties, they from thence derive the way of approving them, but not of using them. And though they see Him not, yet is He there, that they might not go astray, but keep their strength for You, and not dissipate it upon delicious lassitudes. And I, though I both say and perceive this, impede my course with such beauties, but Thou dost rescue me, O Lord, Thou dost rescue me; for Your loving-kindness is before my eyes. For I am taken miserably, and Thou rescuest me mercifully; sometimes not perceiving it, in that I had come upon them hesitatingly; at other times with pain, because I was held fast by them.

In addition to this, there is another form of temptation that is more complex and dangerous. Beyond the concupiscence of the flesh, which consists in gratifying all the senses and pleasures and in which those enslaved to it perish far from You, there exists in the soul, working through these same bodily senses, a certain empty and curious desire disguised under the name of knowledge and learning. This is not about taking pleasure in the flesh, but about conducting experiments through the flesh. Because this desire springs from an appetite for knowledge, and because sight is the primary sense used in acquiring knowledge, it is called in divine language the lust of the eyes. For seeing properly belongs to the eyes, yet we use this word for the other senses too when we employ them in searching for knowledge. We don't say "Listen how it glows," "Smell how it glistens," "Taste how it shines," or "Feel how it flashes"—all these things are said to be seen. Yet we say not only "See how it shines," which only the eyes can perceive, but also "See how it sounds," "See how it smells," "See how it tastes," "See how hard it is." Thus the general experience of all the senses, as mentioned before, is called the lust of the eyes, because the other senses imitate the function of seeing, in which the eyes excel, whenever they seek out knowledge.

54. In addition to this there is another form of temptation, more complex in its peril. For besides that concupiscence of the flesh which lies in the gratification of all senses and pleasures, wherein its slaves who are far from You perish, there pertains to the soul, through the same senses of the body, a certain vain and curious longing, cloaked under the name of knowledge and learning, not of having pleasure in the flesh, but of making experiments through the flesh. This longing, since it originates in an appetite for knowledge, and the sight being the chief among the senses in the acquisition of knowledge, is called in divine language, the lust of the eyes. 1 John 2:16 For seeing belongs properly to the eyes; yet we apply this word to the other senses also, when we exercise them in the search after knowledge. For we do not say, Listen how it glows, smell how it glistens, taste how it shines, or feel how it flashes, since all these are said to be seen. And yet we say not only, See how it shines, which the eyes alone can perceive; but also, See how it sounds, see how it smells, see how it tastes, see how hard it is. And thus the general experience of the senses, as was said before, is termed the lust of the eyes, because the function of seeing, wherein the eyes hold the pre-eminence, the other senses by way of similitude take possession of, whenever they seek out any knowledge.

The difference between pleasure and curiosity becomes clearer when we observe what the senses pursue. Pleasure seeks out things that are beautiful, melodious, fragrant, tasty, or soft to the touch. But curiosity seeks out the opposite of these things for the sake of experimentation—not because someone wants to experience discomfort, but from a passion for experimenting with and knowing them. What pleasure is there in looking at a mangled corpse, something that makes you shudder? Yet if one lies nearby, people crowd around to be made sad and to turn pale. They even fear seeing it in their sleep. It's as if someone forced them to look at it while awake, or as if some report of its beauty had drawn them there! The same pattern applies to the other senses, but it would be tedious to go through them all. This disease of curiosity is behind all those strange spectacles displayed in the theater. It drives us to investigate the hidden powers of nature, which lies outside our proper purpose—knowledge that profits nothing and which people desire only for the sake of knowing. With this same aim of perverted knowledge, we consult magical arts. And even in religion itself, God is tempted when people eagerly demand signs and wonders from Him—not because they desire any saving purpose, but only to put Him to the test.

55. But by this is it more clearly discerned, when pleasure and when curiosity is pursued by the senses; for pleasure follows after objects that are beautiful, melodious, fragrant, savoury, soft; but curiosity, for experiment's sake, seeks the contrary of these — not with a view of undergoing uneasiness, but from the passion of experimenting upon and knowing them. For what pleasure is there to see, in a lacerated corpse, that which makes you shudder? And yet if it lie near, we flock there, to be made sad, and to turn pale. Even in sleep they fear lest they should see it. Just as if when awake any one compelled them to go and see it, or any report of its beauty had attracted them! Thus also is it with the other senses, which it were tedious to pursue. From this malady of curiosity are all those strange sights exhibited in the theatre. Hence do we proceed to search out the secret powers of nature (which is beside our end), which to know profits not, and wherein men desire nothing but to know. Hence, too, with that same end of perverted knowledge we consult magical arts. Hence, again, even in religion itself, is God tempted, when signs and wonders are eagerly asked of Him — not desired for any saving end, but to make trial only.

In this vast wilderness, filled with traps and dangers, I have cut off and driven out many of them from my heart, as You, O God of my salvation, have given me the power to do. Yet when dare I say—since so many things of this kind swarm around our daily life—when dare I say that nothing like this makes me eager to see it or stirs up empty worry in me? It is true that theaters no longer captivate me, nor do I care anymore to know the paths of the stars, nor has my soul ever consulted the spirits of the dead; I hate all sacrilegious oaths. O Lord my God, to whom I owe all humble and sincere service, with what clever cunning does the enemy tempt me to demand some sign from You! But by our King, and by our pure and holy country Jerusalem, I beg You that just as agreeing to such thoughts is far from me, so may it always be farther and farther away. But when I pray to You for someone's salvation, my purpose is entirely different, and You who do what You will, grant and will grant me the grace to follow You willingly.

56. In this so vast a wilderness, replete with snares and dangers, lo, many of them have I lopped off, and expelled from my heart, as Thou, O God of my salvation, hast enabled me to do. And yet when dare I say, since so many things of this kind buzz around our daily life — when dare I say that no such thing makes me intent to see it, or creates in me vain solicitude? It is true that the theatres never now carry me away, nor do I now care to know the courses of the stars, nor has my soul at any time consulted departed spirits; all sacrilegious oaths I abhor. O Lord my God, to whom I owe all humble and single-hearted service, with what subtlety of suggestion does the enemy influence me to require some sign from You! But by our King, and by our pure land chaste country Jerusalem, I beseech You, that as any consenting unto such thoughts is far from me, so may it always be farther and farther. But when I entreat You for the salvation of any, the end I aim at is far otherwise, and You who do what You will, givest and will give me willingly to follow You. John 21:22

Yet in how many tiny and contemptible things our curiosity is tempted daily, and who can count how often we give in? How often, when people are telling idle stories, do we start by tolerating them so we won't offend the weak, and then gradually we listen willingly! I don't go to the circus nowadays to see a dog chase a hare, but if I happen to pass such a chase in the fields, it may distract me even from some serious thought and draw me after it—not that I turn my animal's body aside, but the inclination of my mind. And unless You quickly warn me by showing me my weakness, either through the sight itself by some reflection to rise to You, or to completely despise and pass it by, I am absorbed by it like a fool. How is it that when sitting at home, a lizard catching flies or a spider entangling them as they rush into her nets often arrests my attention? Isn't the feeling of curiosity the same even though these are such tiny creatures? From them I go on to praise You, the wonderful Creator and Disposer of all things, but this is not what first attracts my attention. It's one thing to get up quickly and another not to fall, and my life is full of such things. My only hope is in Your exceeding great mercy. For when our heart is made the receptacle of such things and bears crowds of this abounding vanity, then our prayers are often interrupted and disturbed by them. And while in Your presence we direct the voice of our heart to Your ears, this so great a matter is broken off by the influx of who knows what idle thoughts.

57. Nevertheless, in how many most minute and contemptible things is our curiosity daily tempted, and who can number how often we succumb? How often, when people are narrating idle tales, do we begin by tolerating them, lest we should give offense unto the weak; and then gradually we listen willingly! I do not now-a-days go to the circus to see a dog chasing a hare; but if by chance I pass such a coursing in the fields, it possibly distracts me even from some serious thought, and draws me after it — not that I turn the body of my beast aside, but the inclination of my mind. And unless You, by demonstrating to me my weakness, speedily warns me, either through the sight itself, by some reflection to rise to You, or wholly to despise and pass it by, I, vain one, am absorbed by it. How is it, when sitting at home, a lizard catching flies, or a spider entangling them as they rush into her nets, oftentimes arrests me? Is the feeling of curiosity not the same because these are such tiny creatures? From them I proceed to praise You, the wonderful Creator and Disposer of all things; but it is not this that first attracts my attention. It is one thing to get up quickly, and another not to fall, and of such things is my life full; and my only hope is in Your exceeding great mercy. For when this heart of ours is made the receptacle of such things, and bears crowds of this abounding vanity, then are our prayers often interrupted and disturbed thereby; and while in Your presence we direct the voice of our heart to Your ears, this so great a matter is broken off by the influx of I know not what idle thoughts.

Shall we then consider this also among things to be lightly esteemed, or shall anything restore us to hope, except Your complete mercy, since You have begun to change us? And You know how much You have already changed me, You who first healed me of the desire to justify myself, so that You might forgive all my remaining sins, and heal all my diseases, and redeem my life from corruption, and crown me with loving-kindness and tender mercies, and satisfy my desire with good things; who restrained my pride with Your fear, and brought my neck under Your yoke. And now I bear it, and it is light to me, because You promised this and made it so, and it truly was so, though I did not know it when I feared to take it up. But, O Lord—You who alone reign without pride, because You are the only true Lord, who has no lord—has this third kind of temptation left me, or can it leave me during this life?

58. Shall we, then, account this too among such things as are to be lightly esteemed, or shall anything restore us to hope, save Your complete mercy, since You have begun to change us? And You know to what extent You have already changed me, Thou who first healest me of the lust of vindicating myself, that so You might forgive all my remaining iniquities, and heal all my diseases, and redeem my life from corruption, and crown me with loving-kindness and tender mercies, and satisfy my desire with good things; who restrained my pride with Your fear, and subdue my neck to Your yoke. And now I bear it, and it is light Matthew 11:30 unto me, because so have You promised, and made it, and so in truth it was, though I knew it not, when I feared to take it up. But, O Lord, — Thou who alone reign without pride, because You are the only true Lord, who hast no lord — has this third kind of temptation left me, or can it leave me during this life?

The desire to be feared and loved by people, with no other purpose than to experience a pleasure in it that is not real pleasure, is a miserable life and an unseemly display of vanity. This is especially where it comes from that we do not love You or devoutly fear You. And therefore You resist the proud, but give grace to the humble, and You thunder upon the ambitious plans of the world, and the foundations of the mountains tremble. Because certain roles in human society now make it necessary to be loved and feared by people, the adversary of our true blessedness presses hard upon us, scattering his snares of "well done, well done" everywhere, so that while we eagerly seek these praises, we may be caught off guard and separate our joy from Your truth, fixing it instead on the deceits of people. We then take pleasure in being loved and feared, not for Your sake, but in Your place. By this means, being made like him, he may have them as his own, not in harmony of love, but in the fellowship of punishment—he who aspired to exalt his throne in the north, so that dark and cold they might serve him, imitating You in perverse and distorted ways. But we, O Lord, look, we are Your little flock. Possess us, stretch Your wings over us, and let us take refuge under them. Be our glory. Let us be loved for Your sake, and Your word feared in us. Those who desire to be commended by people when You blame them will not be defended by people when You judge, nor will they be delivered when You condemn. But when it is not the sinner being praised in the desires of his soul, nor the one blessed who does unjustly, but a man is praised for some gift that You have given him, and he is more gratified at the praise for himself than that he possesses the gift for which he is praised, such a person is praised while You blame. And truly better is the one who praised than the one who was praised. For the gift of God in man was pleasing to the one, while the other was better pleased with the gift of man than that of God.

59. The desire to be feared and loved of men, with no other view than that I may experience a joy therein which is no joy, is a miserable life, and unseemly ostentation. Hence especially it arises that we do not love You, nor devoutly fear You. And therefore You resist the proud, but givest grace unto the humble; James 4:6 and You thunder upon the ambitious designs of the world, and the foundations of the hills tremble. Because now certain offices of human society render it necessary to be loved and feared of men, the adversary of our true blessedness presses hard upon us, everywhere scattering his snares of well done, well done; that while acquiring them eagerly, we may be caught unawares, and disunite our joy from Your truth, and fix it on the deceits of men; and take pleasure in being loved and feared, not for Your sake, but in Your stead, by which means, being made like him, he may have them as his, not in harmony of love, but in the fellowship of punishment; who aspired to exalt his throne in the north, Isaiah 14:13-14 that dark and cold they might serve him, imitating You in perverse and distorted ways. But we, O Lord, lo, we are Your little flock; Luke 12:32 do Thou possess us, stretch Your wings over us, and let us take refuge under them. Be Thou our glory; let us be loved for Your sake, and Your word feared in us. They who desire to be commended of men when Thou blamest, will not be defended of men when You judge; nor will they be delivered when You condemn. But when not the sinner is praised in the desires of his soul, nor he blessed who does unjustly, but a man is praised for some gift that You have bestowed upon him, and he is more gratified at the praise for himself, than that he possesses the gift for which he is praised, such a one is praised while Thou blamest. And better truly is he who praised than the one who was praised. For the gift of God in man was pleasing to the one, while the other was better pleased with the gift of man than that of God.

By these temptations, O Lord, we are tested daily—yes, we are tested constantly. The human tongue is our daily furnace. In this matter too, You command us to be continent. Give what You command, and command what You will. Concerning this, You know the groans of my heart and the rivers of my eyes. For I cannot determine how far I am free from this plague, and I stand in great fear of my secret faults, which Your eyes perceive though mine do not. In other kinds of temptations I have some ability to examine myself, but in this one, hardly any. Regarding the pleasures of the flesh and idle curiosity, I can see how far I have been able to control my mind when I do without them, either by choice or because they are not available; then I can ask myself how much more or less difficult it is for me to be without them. As for riches, which are sought to serve one, two, or all three of these lusts—if the mind cannot see clearly whether it despises them when it has them, they can be set aside so that the mind may test itself. But if we want to test our ability to do without praise, must we live badly, and so wickedly and excessively that everyone who knows us will hate us? What greater madness than this can be said or imagined? But if praise normally is and ought to be the companion of a good life and good works, we should no more give up its companionship than we should give up the good life itself. Yet unless something is absent, I do not know whether I will be content or troubled by being without it.

60. By these temptations, O Lord, are we daily tried; yea, unceasingly are we tried. Our daily furnace is the human tongue. And in this respect also do You command us to be continent. Give what You command, and command what You will. Regarding this matter, You know the groans of my heart, and the rivers Lamentations 3:48 of my eyes. For I am not able to ascertain how far I am clean of this plague, and I stand in great fear of my secret faults, which Your eyes perceive, though mine do not. For in other kinds of temptations I have some sort of power of examining myself; but in this, hardly any. For, both as regards the pleasures of the flesh and an idle curiosity, I see how far I have been able to hold my mind in check when I do without them, either voluntarily or by reason of their not being at hand; for then I inquire of myself how much more or less troublesome it is to me not to have them. Riches truly which are sought for in order that they may minister to some one of these three lusts, or to two, or the whole of them, if the mind be not able to see clearly whether, when it has them, it despises them, they may be cast on one side, that so it may prove itself. But if we desire to test our power of doing without praise, need we live ill, and that so flagitiously and immoderately as that every one who knows us shall detest us? What greater madness than this can be either said or conceived? But if praise both is wont and ought to be the companion of a good life and of good works, we should as little forego its companionship as a good life itself. But unless a thing be absent, I do not know whether I shall be contented or troubled at being without it.

So what am I confessing to You, Lord, about this kind of temptation? Simply this: I do find pleasure in praise, but I take more pleasure in the truth itself than in praise. If I had to choose between being completely insane or totally wrong about everything but praised by everyone, or being firm and certain in the truth but blamed by everyone, I know which I would choose. Yet I can't deny that I wish the approval of others didn't add to my joy over any good thing I have. But I admit it does increase my joy, and what's more, criticism does diminish it. When I'm troubled by this wretchedness of mine, an excuse comes to mind—though You, God, know its real value—which leaves me uncertain. You have commanded us not only to practice continency, that is, to hold back our love from certain things, but also righteousness, that is, to bestow our love on the right things. You have wanted us to love not only You but also our neighbor. Often when I'm pleased by intelligent praise, I seem to myself to be pleased by my neighbor's progress or aptitude, and conversely to be sorry when there is evil in him, especially when I hear him criticize either what he doesn't understand or what is actually good. Sometimes I'm troubled by my own praise, either when people praise things in me that I'm unhappy about in myself, or when lesser and trivial goods are valued more highly than they should be. But then again, how do I know whether I feel this way because I don't want the person praising me to have a different opinion of me than I have of myself—not because I'm concerned for him, but because the same good things that please me in myself are even more pleasing to me when they also please someone else? In a sense, I'm not really being praised when my own judgment of myself isn't being praised; whether it's because things I dislike about myself are being praised, or because things less pleasing to me are being praised more than they should be. So am I uncertain about myself in this matter?

61. What, then, do I confess unto You, O Lord, in this kind of temptation? What, save that I am delighted with praise, but more with the truth itself than with praise? For were I to have my choice, whether I had rather, being mad, or astray on all things, be praised by all men, or, being firm and well-assured in the truth, be blamed by all, I see which I should choose. Yet would I be unwilling that the approval of another should even add to my joy for any good I have. Yet I admit that it does increase it, and, more than that, that dispraise does diminish it. And when I am disquieted at this misery of mine, an excuse presents itself to me, the value of which Thou, God, know, for it renders me uncertain. For since it is not continency alone that You have enjoined upon us, that is, from what things to hold back our love, but righteousness also, that is, upon what to bestow it, and hast wished us to love not You only, but also our neighbour, — often, when gratified by intelligent praise, I appear to myself to be gratified by the proficiency or towardliness of my neighbour, and again to be sorry for evil in him when I hear him dispraise either that which he understands not, or is good. For I am sometimes grieved at my own praise, either when those things which I am displeased at in myself be praised in me, or even lesser and trifling goods are more valued than they should be. But, again, how do I know whether I am thus affected, because I am unwilling that he who praises me should differ from me concerning myself — not as being moved with consideration for him, but because the same good things which please me in myself are more pleasing to me when they also please another? For, in a sort, I am not praised when my judgment of myself is not praised; since either those things which are displeasing to me are praised, or those more so which are less pleasing to me. Am I then uncertain of myself in this matter?

Look, O Truth, I see in You that I should not be moved by praise of myself for my own sake, but for the good of my neighbor. And whether this is truly the case, I honestly don't know. For about this I know less of myself than You do. I now beg You, my God, to reveal myself to me as well, so that I may confess to my brothers who are to pray for me what weakness I find in myself. Let me examine myself again, more carefully. If I am moved by praise of myself out of consideration for my neighbor, why am I less moved when some other person is unjustly criticized than when it is myself? Why am I more irritated by a reproach cast upon myself than by one cast with equal injustice upon another person in my presence? Am I ignorant of this too? Or is it that I still deceive myself and do not practice the truth before You in my heart and tongue? Put such madness far from me, O Lord, so that my mouth will not be to me the oil of sinners to anoint my head.

62. Behold, O Truth, in You do I see that I ought not to be moved at my own praises for my own sake, but for my neighbour's good. And whether it be so, in truth I know not. For concerning this I know less of myself than do You. I beseech You now, O my God, to reveal to me myself also, that I may confess unto my brethren, who are to pray for me, what I find in myself weak. Once again let me more diligently examine myself. If, in my own praise, I am moved with consideration for my neighbour, why am I less moved if some other man be unjustly dispraised than if it be myself? Why am I more irritated at that reproach which is cast upon myself, than at that which is with equal injustice cast upon another in my presence? Am I ignorant of this also? Or does it remain that I deceive myself, Galatians 6:3 and do not the truth 1 John 1:8 before You in my heart and tongue? Put such madness far from me, O Lord, lest my mouth be to me the oil of sinners, to anoint my head.

I am poor and needy, yet I am better off while in secret groanings I am displeased with myself and seek Your mercy, until what is lacking in me is renewed and made complete, even up to that peace which the eye of the proud does not know. Yet the word that comes out of the mouth, and actions known to other people, bring a very dangerous temptation from the love of praise. This love gathers together approval that we seek out, in order to establish a certain excellence of our own. It tempts me even when I inwardly reprove myself for it, on the very basis that I am reproving it. Often a person boasts even more vainly about scorning vain-glory itself. Therefore it is no longer really scorn of vain-glory that he boasts about, for he does not truly despise it when he inwardly takes pride in it.

63. I am poor and needy, yet better am I while in secret groanings I displease myself, and seek for Your mercy, until what is lacking in me be renewed and made complete, even up to that peace of which the eye of the proud is ignorant. Yet the word which proceeds out of the mouth, and actions known to men, have a most dangerous temptation from the love of praise, which, for the establishing of a certain excellency of our own, gathers together solicited suffrages. It tempts, even when within I reprove myself for it, on the very ground that it is reproved; and often man glories more vainly of the very scorn of vain- glory; wherefore it is not any longer scorn of vain- glory whereof it glories, for he does not truly contemn it when he inwardly glories.

There is also another evil within, within me, arising from the same kind of temptation. People become empty who take pleasure in themselves, even though they do not please others, or actually displease them, or do not aim to please them at all. But in pleasing themselves, they greatly displease You—not only by taking pleasure in things that are not good as if they were good, but also by taking pleasure in Your good things as though these were their own. Or even if they acknowledge these as Yours, they act as though they possess them through their own merits. Or even if they admit these come from Your grace, they do not rejoice in this grace with a generous spirit, but instead envy that same grace when given to others. In all these and similar dangers and struggles, You see the trembling of my heart, and I feel more keenly that my wounds are healed by You than that they were not inflicted by me.

64. Within also, within is another evil, arising out of the same kind of temptation; whereby they become empty who please themselves in themselves, although they please not, or displease, or aim at pleasing others. But in pleasing themselves, they much displease You, not merely taking pleasure in things not good as if they were good, but in Your good things as though they were their own; or even as if in Yours, yet as though of their own merits; or even as if though of Your grace, yet not with friendly rejoicings, but as envying that grace to others. In all these and similar perils and labours Thou perceivest the trembling of my heart, and I rather feel my wounds to be cured by You than not inflicted by me.

Where have You not accompanied me, O Truth, teaching me both what to avoid and what to desire, when I brought to You what I could understand of earthly things and asked for Your guidance? Using my external senses as best I could, I observed the world and noticed the life that my body receives from me, along with these senses of mine. From there I went inward into the depths of my memory—those countless chambers, amazingly filled with abundant riches. I examined them and was in awe, and I could understand none of these things without You, and I found that none of them were You. Nor was I myself the one who discovered these things—I, who examined them all and worked to distinguish and evaluate everything according to its importance, accepting some things based on what my senses reported, questioning others that I felt were mixed up with my own self, identifying and counting the senses themselves as reporters, and in the vast storeroom of my memory examining some things, storing others, and retrieving others. I was not myself when I did this (that is, the ability I have by which I did it), nor was it You, for You are that unfailing light I consulted about all these things—whether they were what they were, and what their value was. And I heard You teaching and commanding me. I do this often; it is a delight to me, and whenever I can get relief from necessary duties, I turn to this pleasure. Yet in all these things that I examine when consulting You, I find no safe place for my soul except in You, where my scattered parts may be gathered together and nothing of me may depart from You. And sometimes You bring me to a very rare feeling, deep within, to an indescribable sweetness, which, if it were perfected in me, I do not know what heights that life might reach. But through these miserable burdens of mine I fall back into these things, and am drawn in by my old habits, and am held fast, and I grieve greatly, yet I am still held fast. This is how heavily the weight of habit presses down on us. In this way I am able to be, but do not will it; in that other way I will, but cannot—miserable in both ways.

65. Where have You not accompanied me, O Truth, teaching me both what to avoid and what to desire, when I submitted to You what I could perceive of sublunary things, and asked Your counsel? With my external senses, as I could, I viewed the world, and noted the life which my body derives from me, and these my senses. Thence I advanced inwardly into the recesses of my memory, — the manifold rooms, wondrously full of multitudinous wealth; and I considered and was afraid, and could discern none of these things without You, and found none of them to be You. Nor was I myself the discoverer of these things — I, who went over them all, and laboured to distinguish and to value everything according to its dignity, accepting some things upon the report of my senses, and questioning about others which I felt to be mixed up with myself, distinguishing and numbering the reporters themselves, and in the vast storehouse of my memory investigating some things, laying up others, taking out others. Neither was I myself when I did this (that is, that ability of mine whereby I did it), nor was it Thou, for You are that never-failing light which I took counsel of as to them all, whether they were what they were, and what was their worth; and I heard You teaching and commanding me. And this I do often; this is a delight to me, and, as far as I can get relief from necessary duties, to this gratification do I resort. Nor in all these which I review when consulting You, find I a secure place for my soul, save in You, into whom my scattered members may be gathered together, and nothing of me depart from You. And sometimes Thou dost introduce me to a most rare affection, inwardly, to an inexplicable sweetness, which, if it should be perfected in me, I know not to what point that life might not arrive. But by these wretched weights Hebrews 12:1 of mine do I relapse into these things, and am sucked in by my old customs, and am held, and sorrow much, yet am much held. To such an extent does the burden of habit press us down. In this way I can be, but will not; in that I will, but cannot — on both ways miserable.

And so I have thought about the exhausting burdens of my sins in that threefold lust, and I have called upon Your right hand to help me. For with a wounded heart I have seen Your brightness, and being driven back I cried out, Who can reach it? I am cut off from before Your eyes. You are the Truth, who rules over all things, but I, through my greed, did not want to lose You, yet along with You I wanted to possess a lie—just as no one wants to speak falsely in such a way that he himself remains ignorant of the truth. So then I lost You, because You do not consent to be enjoyed together with a lie.

66. And thus have I reflected upon the wearinesses of my sins, in that threefold lust, and have invoked Your right hand to my aid. For with a wounded heart have I seen Your brightness, and being beaten back I exclaimed, Who can attain unto it? I am cut off from before Your eyes. You are the Truth, who presidest over all things, but I, through my covetousness, wished not to lose You, but with You wished to possess a lie; as no one wishes so to speak falsely as himself to be ignorant of the truth. So then I lost You, because Thou deignest not to be enjoyed with a lie.

Who could I find to reconcile me to You? Should I approach the angels? Through what prayer? Through what sacraments? Many people trying to return to You, and unable to do so by themselves, have, as I'm told, attempted this and have fallen into a desire for strange visions, and were considered worthy to be deceived. For they, being proud, sought You through the arrogance of learning, pushing themselves forward rather than beating their breasts in humility, and so by the correspondence of their hearts drew to themselves the princes of the air, the conspirators and companions in pride, by whom, through the power of magic, they were deceived, seeking a mediator by whom they might be cleansed; but there was none. For it was the devil, transforming himself into an angel of light. And he greatly attracted proud flesh, because he had no fleshly body. For they were mortal and sinful; but You, O Lord, to whom they arrogantly sought to be reconciled, are immortal and sinless. But a mediator between God and man ought to have something like God and something like man; otherwise, being in both respects like man, he would be far from God; or if in both respects like God, he would be far from man, and so would not be a mediator. That deceitful mediator, then, by whom in Your secret judgments pride deserved to be deceived, has one thing in common with man, that is, sin; another thing he would appear to have with God, and, not being clothed with mortal flesh, would boast that he was immortal. But since the wages of sin is death, this he has in common with men, that together with them he should be condemned to death.

67. Whom could I find to reconcile me to You? Was I to solicit the angels? By what prayer? By what sacraments? Many striving to return unto You, and not able of themselves, have, as I am told, tried this, and have fallen into a longing for curious visions, and were held worthy to be deceived. For they, being exalted, sought You by the pride of learning, thrusting themselves forward rather than beating their breasts, and so by correspondence of heart drew unto themselves the princes of the air, Ephesians 2:2 the conspirators and companions in pride, by whom, through the power of magic, they were deceived, seeking a mediator by whom they might be cleansed; but none was there. For the devil it was, transforming himself into an angel of light. 2 Corinthians 11:14 And he much allured proud flesh, in that he had no fleshly body. For they were mortal, and sinful; but Thou, O Lord, to whom they arrogantly sought to be reconciled, art immortal, and sinless. But a mediator between God and man ought to have something like God, and something like man; lest being in both like man, he should be far from God; or if in both like God, he should be far from man, and so should not be a mediator. That deceitful mediator, then, by whom in Your secret judgments pride deserved to be deceived, has one thing in common with man, that is, sin; another he would appear to have with God, and, not being clothed with mortality of flesh, would boast that he was immortal. But since the wages of sin is death, Romans 6:23 this has he in common with men, that together with them he should be condemned to death.

But the true Mediator, whom in Your secret mercy You revealed to the humble and sent so that by His example they might also learn the same humility—that Mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, appeared between mortal sinners and the immortal Just One. He was mortal with men and just with God, so that because the reward of righteousness is life and peace, He might, through righteousness joined with God, abolish the death of justified sinners—a death He chose to share with them. Therefore He was revealed to the holy men of old, so that they might be saved through faith in His Passion to come, just as we are saved through faith in what has already happened. For as man He was Mediator, but as the Word He was not between, because He was equal to God, and God with God, and together with the Holy Spirit one God.

68. But the true Mediator, whom in Your secret mercy You have pointed out to the humble, and sent, that by His example also they might learn the same humility — that Mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 1 Timothy 2:5 appeared between mortal sinners and the immortal Just One — mortal with men, just with God; that because the reward of righteousness is life and peace, He might, by righteousness conjoined with God, cancel the death of justified sinners, which He willed to have in common with them. Hence He was pointed out to holy men of old; to the intent that they, through faith in His Passion to come, even as we through faith in that which is past, might be saved. For as man He was Mediator; but as the Word He was not between, because equal to God, and God with God, and together with the Holy Spirit one God.

How have You loved us, O good Father, who did not spare Your only Son, but handed Him over for us wicked ones! How have You loved us, for whom He, who did not consider equality with You something to be grasped, became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross; He alone free among the dead, who had power to lay down His life and power to take it up again; for us He was to You both Victor and Victim, and the Victor because He was the Victim; for us He was to You both Priest and Sacrifice, and Priest because He was the Sacrifice; making us Your sons from being slaves, by being born of You and serving us. Rightly, then, my hope is firmly fixed on Him, that You will heal all my diseases through Him who sits at Your right hand and intercedes for us; otherwise I would completely despair. For my infirmities are numerous and great, yes, numerous and great they are; but Your medicine is greater. We might have thought that Your Word was distant from union with humanity, and we might have despaired of ourselves, had He not been made flesh and dwelt among us.

69. How have You loved us, O good Father, who spared not Your only Son, but delivered Him up for us wicked ones! How have You loved us, for whom He, who thought it no robbery to be equal with You, became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross; Philippians 2:6, 8 He alone free among the dead, that had power to lay down His life, and power to take it again; John 10:18 for us was He unto You both Victor and Victim, and the Victor as being the Victim; for us was He unto You both Priest and Sacrifice, and Priest as being the Sacrifice; of slaves making us Your sons, by being born of You, and serving us. Rightly, then, is my hope strongly fixed on Him, that You will heal all my diseases by Him who sits at Your right hand and makes intercession for us; Romans 8:34 else should I utterly despair. For numerous and great are my infirmities, yea, numerous and great are they; but Your medicine is greater. We might think that Your Word was removed from union with man, and despair of ourselves had He not been made flesh and dwelt among us. John 1:14

Terrified by my sins and the burden of my misery, I had decided in my heart and planned to flee into the wilderness; but You forbade me and strengthened me, saying, "Therefore Christ died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for them." Behold, O Lord, I cast my care upon You, that I may live, and see wondrous things out of Your law. You know my lack of skill and my weaknesses; teach me, and heal me. Your only Son—He in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge—has redeemed me with His blood. Let not the proud speak evil of me, because I think about my ransom, and eat and drink, and distribute; and being poor, I desire to be satisfied from Him, together with those who eat and are satisfied, and they praise the Lord who seek Him.

70. Terrified by my sins and the load of my misery, I had resolved in my heart, and meditated flight into the wilderness; but You forbade me, and strengthened me, saying, therefore, Christ died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for them. 2 Corinthians 5:15 Behold, O Lord, I cast my care upon You, that I may live, and behold wondrous things out of Your law. You know my unskilfulness and my infirmities; teach me, and heal me. Your only Son — He in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge — has redeemed me with His blood. Let not the proud speak evil of me, because I consider my ransom, and eat and drink, and distribute; and poor, desire to be satisfied from Him, together with those who eat and are satisfied, and they praise the Lord that seek him.