Letters — Letter 146 — To Olympius

This is what I said as though making a kind of prophecy, when I found you favorable to every request and was making endless use of your kindness, that I fear I shall wear out your goodwill on other people's affairs. For look, a struggle of my own has arrived (if that which concerns my own relatives is mine), and I cannot speak with the same boldness. First, because it is my own matter. For pleading on my own behalf, though it may be more beneficial, is more degrading. And second, I am afraid of excess as something that destroys pleasure and works against everything good. This is the situation, and my guess is all too accurate. Nevertheless, with confidence in God before whom I stand, and in your generosity in doing good, I am bold enough to bring this request.

This is what I said as if by a sort of prophecy, when I found you favourable to every request, and was making insatiable use of your gentleness, that I fear I shall exhaust your kindness upon the affairs of others. For see, a contest of my own has come (if that is mine which concerns my own relations), and I cannot speak with the same freedom. First, because it is my own. For to entreat for myself, though it may be more useful, is more humiliating. And next, I am afraid of excess as destroying pleasure, and opposing all that is good. So matters stand, and I conjecture only too rightly. Nevertheless with confidence in God before Whom I stand, and in your magnanimity in doing good, I am bold to present this petition.

Suppose Nicobulus is the worst of men—though his only crime is that because of me he is envied and enjoys more freedom than he should. And suppose that my present opponent is the most just of men. For I am ashamed to accuse before Your Uprightness someone whom yesterday I was supporting, but I do not know if it will seem just to you that punishment for one man's crimes should be demanded from another, when these crimes were completely foreign to him and he did not even consent to them—from a man who has so disturbed his household and been so upset that he surrendered to his accuser more readily than the accuser wished. Must Nicobulus or his children be reduced to slavery as his persecutors desire? I am ashamed both of the grounds for this persecution and of the timing, if this is to happen while both you are in power and I have influence with you. No, most admirable friend, do not let this be suggested to Your Integrity. Instead, recognizing by the winged swiftness of your mind the malice from which this proceeds, and having respect for me as your admirer, show yourself a merciful judge to those who are being disturbed. For today you are not merely judging between one person and another, but between virtue and vice, and this requires more consideration from those who, like you, are virtuous and skillful governors than it would from an ordinary person. In return for this, you will have from me not only the matter of my prayers, which I know you do not despise as so many people do, but also that I will make your government famous among all to whom I am known.

Suppose Nicobulus to be the worst of men: — though his only crime is that through me he is an object of envy, and more free than he ought to be. And suppose that my present opponent is the most just of men. For I am ashamed to accuse before Your Uprightness one whom yesterday I was supporting: but I do not know if it will seem to you just that punishment should be demanded for one man's crimes from another, though these were quite strange to him, and had not even his consent; from the man who has so stirred his household and been so upset as to have surrendered to his accuser more readily than the latter wished. Must Nicobulus or his children be reduced to slavery as his persecutors desire? I am ashamed both of the ground of the persecution and of the time, if this is to be done while both you are in power and I have influence with you. Not so, most admirable friend, let not this be suggested to Your Integrity. But recognizing by the winged swiftness of your mind the malice from which this proceeds, and having respect to me your admirer, show yourself a merciful judge to those who are being disturbed — for today you are not merely judging between man and man, but between virtue and vice; and to this more consideration than by an ordinary man must be given by those who are like you in virtue and are skilful governors. And in return for this you shall have from me not only the matter of my prayers, which I know you do not, like so many men, despise; but also that I will make your government famous with all to whom I am known.